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45 minute napper

(41 Posts)
sleepymama Mon 14-Mar-05 12:51:47

Hi there
need some help please! My 3 month old used to be a great napper until 3 weeks ago. Now he only naps for exactly 45 minutes and then wakes up bawling. He's obviously tired but can't get himself off to sleep. Even rocking him won't help!Has anyone had similar experiences? Any advice?

CheekyGirl Mon 14-Mar-05 19:46:42

Yup, my 11wk old is exactly like this, except for him it's an improvement. He used to wake after 15-20 mins.......

It seems to be related to their sleep cycle and not being able to drift off again after entering a light sleep phase. With my ds, I go in quickly as I know he won't resettle himself, try popping the dummy back in or rocking him if that fails. I'm quite persistant as I know he needs more sleep. I just keep going back in and resettling him over and over. If he hasn't fallen back to sleep after half an hour of repeated attempts, I admit defeat and get him up.

My dd was like this too, and got better when she was around 5mths.

Good luck!

bakedpotato Mon 14-Mar-05 20:07:50

Yes, apparently 45 mins is the length of the baby sleep cycle. IMO (well, Gina's, actually) it helps to keep the room very dark and the household noise to a minimum so that when they come into a light sleep, they don't startle back into full wakefulness.

If DS wakes and hollers 45 mins into the sleep, I try to hold off bursting in to pick him up and he usually settles himself fairly quickly (may have to suffer through 5-10 mins of on-off wibbling). It's usually a sleepy sort of cry, rather than an urgent or enraged one, so not too hard to do.

kbaby Mon 14-Mar-05 20:55:47

dd was always the same. Nothing I could do would get her back to sleep even though she was still tired. Shes now 9months and sleeps for about 1hour but thats it. I think it gradually got longer the older she got. Sorry I cant help more.

franch Mon 14-Mar-05 21:21:06

Similar experience to kbaby. Now at nearly 14m, DD has 1 nap of nearly 2 hours a day. I think it just came with age. Elizabeth Pantley (No Cry Sleep Solution) recommends setting a timer and sitting outside their door just before they wake, then creeping in just as they're stirring and doing whatever it takes (rocking, feeding etc) to get them to go back to sleep without ever really waking properly. Apparently this gets them into the habit of sleeping longer. Might be worth a try - maybe refer to the book to make sure I've got it right!

sleepymama Tue 15-Mar-05 11:15:07

thanks for all the advice !! I have tried to pop the dummy and rock for over 45 mins of crying to no avail yesterday and today I will try going in before ds wakes and resettle before he fully wakes. Will let you know how it goes !

sleepymama Thu 17-Mar-05 12:14:44

Have admitted defeat am afraid DS cried for 45 minutes of rocking andholding and finally fell asleep . This happened today and yesterday. Am at my wits end. Don't know how to solve it. Maybe I'll just have to hope he grows out of it. Let me know if there are any other ideas !

jane313 Thu 17-Mar-05 12:25:25

Between about 3 and 6 months my son only slept for 3 x 30 mins sleeps a day. Exactly 30 mins, very spooky. He woke once in the night to be fed. At 6 months he totally changed and I don't know if it was the starting of protein or crawling but he started sleeping trough the night and he slept for 2 hours in the morning and then usually 45-an hour in the afternoon. He is still doing the same now at 21 months but is more like only 2 hours late am/lunchtime. So there is hope they will change.

anchovies Thu 17-Mar-05 12:30:14

We did 45 minute naps for a while. Don't know how you feel about swaddling but it really helped us at it meant he never woke up properly at the 45 min mark. Other ideas on the babywhisperer website. Personally wouldn't go down the rocking and holding route, everything we started we realised we would be doing for a long time, had to stroke his head before he would go to sleep for about 2 months, definitely not ideal!

tjb Thu 17-Mar-05 14:03:38

I remember reading these discussions about four weeks ago when my daughter was three months old. She started to take 45 minute naps at about 2.5 months until about 3.5 months. I did the baby whisperer approach and patted and shushed her when she woke for about 30 mins at a time sometimes and then waited for thirty minutes in her room until I knew she was back to sleep. If she startled I patted her and shushed her again. This was extremely hard work and I did it for about two weeks. It did work but she needed me there for an hour to resettle her all the time. I was just about to give up and accept that she was a short napper when she suddenly found her thumb and started to sleep for 1.2 - 2.5 hours at a time. If you swaddle I think it worth leaving at least one hand out at about 4-5 months in case your baby likes to suck it. Just a thought. I think that whatever you do, be consistent. If all else fails I found that my older son started taking longer naps at about 5-6 months old.

sleepymama Thu 17-Mar-05 20:47:22

thanks guys - any advice is helping! makes me realise i am not alone with a naughty napper ! had a terrible day today - ds cried for 1 hour while i tried to pat and shush him back to sleep. He cried so much that in the end i gave up and he proceeded to cry as he was still tired. Eventually i had to distract him and he was then awake until his next feed I have also tried CC but gave up after half an hour of crying May try the swaddling route next !Have read babywhisperer - great book but my ds does not settle he's definatley a touchy baby who cries even after being picked up

CheekyGirl Sat 19-Mar-05 10:14:39

I am so with you sleepymama!
Now, I allow half an hour of attempting to resettle and then give up, otherwise it feels as if the entire day is spent running up and down stairs! Impossible with another child to look after. I don't think cc works at this age. I just try to think optimistically that things have to improve as he gets older.....

Good luck, and if you find a solution please let me know!!!!

sleepymama Sat 19-Mar-05 22:04:15

I hope it does get better cheekygirl - can't put up with much more of this. the whole day seems to go by in a haze of attempted napping and then it starts all over again. Bad day again Tried to calm ds for an hour by holding and ocking whilst swaddled and eventually he settled for another 45 mins. However,tried this at the afternoon nap and failed miserably . The only solution for me is to spend the entire 3 hours between feeds either driving his lordship around in car seat or pushing him in the pram ! this is the only way he seems to nap longer

CheekyGirl Sun 20-Mar-05 13:26:55

I know what you mean. TBH I would love to just snuggle down and nap with him - this is what we end up doing at night. But I can't cos of dd and also, I do want him to learn how to sleep alone since we are together at night. Maybe this is part of the problem, but I have to have some sleep, lol. He's feeding every three hours day and night. My dd was sleeping through at this age (3mths). What's your ds like at night, sleepymama? My thoughts are with you - it's so good to know I'm not alone. Everyone else's baby seems to sleep well. I could scream.

sleepymama Sun 20-Mar-05 17:00:36

Hey Cheeky girl - seems like we're in this together ! My DS sleeps ok at night(touchwood)- he has last feed - anytime from 6pm - 8pm and then wakes between 3am - 5am . He has no set schedule and feeds between 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 hours. Had a terrible morning. Tried to sush him to sleep for his morning nap after his 45 minute wake. Tried miserably for over 1 and 1/4 hours and then gave up as it was time for his feed ! Was at the point of tears myself as I can't carry on This afternoon admitted defeat and let him sleep next to my computer in his bouncy chair and he slept for 1 1/2 hours !!!! Still woke up miserable though. Hows your feeding schedule and hows your day been ?

futurity Sun 17-Apr-05 12:06:44

Just found this thread and wondered how you are getting on with the 45 mins naps as I am going through it now with my almost 10 week old. Had it before with my first son and it didn't get better until he was older.

mum2max Sun 17-Apr-05 13:12:40

I have used pu/pd method (NO ROCKING OR BF TO SLEEP) since ds was 3 mth. Still occasionally wakes up after the usual 30-45min natural nap, but with a bit of gentle "sushing" and his dummy he falls back to sleep again after about 10 mins. Sometimes my "sshh" muscles ache!!!!!!!!! He likes something fluffy against his cheek (always has, even before he could co-ordinate holding it)
He has had 1.5h napsregularly since then (now 5mth old).
If using pu/pd you HAVE TO STICK WITH IT. You can't try for a couple of nights and then go back to rocking or whatever method you used before. ( Sorry to sound pushy .) luckily my lo has slept at night for a while, but daytime naps were always a prob. Sometimes screaming for at least an hour . With pu/pd, he still cried like mad, but I was there with him so he felt secure in his cot. In fact, he prob cried as much as he would have done if I'd have left him to it, but I wanted him to know I was there for him. If it gets too much, leave the room for a while and go back and do pu/pd again (remember to pd as soon as he stops crying to avoid "over holding"). I'm glad I persevered with it.
Have followed the baby whisperer approach since day 1 and it's worked a treat for us. Hope whatever method you choose works for you and your ds. Thinking of you

mum2max Sun 17-Apr-05 13:21:33

like to add... Pu/pd started out at over an hour (ooh my back, he's over 19lb now) but then gradually reduced to a few mins. If he's ill/ had injections etc it's a different matter, may revert back to lengthy time.

littlerach Sun 17-Apr-05 13:37:49

DD2 does the 40 min naps, she is 8 monmths and only sleeps longer if she is in the car seat, or if I am really lucky and she goes backj down.

TBH, I have just accepted that this is how she sleeps, and whilst it isn't ideal, there doesn't seem to be much I can do to change it.I could spend another hour trying to get her to sleep more, she probably would just cry, so she has short naps!

DD1 did this too, but I remember it changing when she started walking.

CheekyGirl Sun 17-Apr-05 21:14:48

Hi sleepymama, I'm envious of your nights!!

Ds has recently had a couple of hour long naps, so you never know!!

He is still feeding 2 hourly at night. Maybe he's ready for solids. he's 16wks.

sleepymama Mon 18-Apr-05 10:43:36

Hi Cheekygirl - since last post have had terrible nights - Ds is up nearly every 3 hours thourgh the night and eventually I cave in and feed him around 3am.
Glad you are getting on ok with naps. We still have waking at 45 mins but as he's swaddled (almost like a strait jacket) we can usually calm him back to sleep in 15 mins and then he sleeps another 45 mins.
My HV was most unhelpful when tried to get advice on 45 min naps. Told me not to swaddle him due to SIDS (!!!) and that I MUST do CC with him. Don't have the bottle for CC yet though so I guess we'll just grin and bear it for the time being.

Nimme Mon 18-Apr-05 20:56:47

Hi sleepymama - I see you are still struggling with the short naps - me too! Oddly enough it all started when she started sleeping through at night. I have spent the last week trying to persuade her to have another 45 min, some days it works other days it doesn't. I am about to add black out curtains and pelmet to black out blind (that gapes at the sides and top)! And then more stuffing the dummy back in sitting by the side of the cot (calms her down enough to sometimes go back to sleep). I am starting to hope she will find the thumb and shove it in (although I was/am pushing the dummy as DD1 still sucks her thumb at the age of 5). It has to change soon - I want and need a break in the middle of the day.

Please let me know when you find the solution

sleepymama Tue 19-Apr-05 10:04:06

Hi Nimme - poor you . These naughty nappers are teible aren't they ? I must say that swaddling definatley helped us but i realise tht its not everyones choice. He still wakes at 45 mins but if he's swaddled he's easier to calm and settle. I aways try to take him out in pushchair for avo nap if I can . Have started baby rice in last 2 days and ds devoured it! I was expecting to have most of it chucked out but all went down . He seems alot happier since then (touch wood!)
I hope that these nappers just grow out of it soon. I am also finding that my ds is starting to wake 45 mins into his bedtime also now!

Seona1973 Tue 19-Apr-05 13:21:04

I dont know if you have read the babywhisperer sleep interview but it has a section on babies who start having 45 minute naps again after having good naps. How often do you feed at the moment? If its every 3 hours, you could look to move towards a 4 hourly schedule. How long does your lo stay awake between naps? You could look to gradually extend the wake time by 15 minutes every few days until they are awake for about 2 hours between naps.

There is a link to the interview here

mum2max Wed 20-Apr-05 10:46:08

what is it with HVs and CC. They all seem to advise it! Have just read message from Franch again about "No Cry Sleep Solution". That's the same as Baby Whisperers "wake to sleep" idea. Going in JUST before the 45 min mark and quietly shh-ing them so they don't wake up.

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