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oops, I accidentally made a rod for my own back....

(3 Posts)
Lubell Fri 17-Oct-08 10:53:27

My ds is about to be 1. He is my fifth child, in ten years. As you can imagine, in my situation you do what works to get as much sleep as possible. If the babe cries, the others are all up - that is not an option! I have found myself in the situation that ds will only go to sleep whilst being breastfed. He sometimes falls asleep in the car, but wakes as soon as we stop. When he does fall asleep on the boob I can usually transfer him into his cot (sometimes he wakes up when I try to do this) and he will sleep for a bit, up to an hour during the day, a bit longer at night. However night time is a now total disaster, because he goes down at 7pm, wakes about 11, 1, and then naps here and there until about 6. He wants to feed all the time. And he wants to sleep with me. Not that that helps him sleep better.
I know all about controlled crying - but it is absolutely not for me. I tried it with my first babe, who was also a poor sleeper, and I just found that she was clingy and distressed as a result (understandably really). It took ages to regain her trust that I was not going to ignore her when she needed me.
I have seen the supernanny sleep separation thing - does any one know if this works on babies as well as toddlers? I think I am going to give it a go but I am not expecting much as ds becomes so distressed when put into his cot.
To be fair to him, we have moved house twice in the last 3 months and he may be a bit stressed because of that. He has always been very "Mummy-fied", perfectly happy as long as he has me, which I have put down to being part of such a big family. But he is now so tired that he is clingy and grumpy a lot of the time, which is a shame because he is such a sweetheart really.
The whole calm, quiet bedtime routine thing never really works in our house, with the other four also needing attention, and my dh arriving home at 7.30 just as they are all calming down. But I can't change any of that. And I have never understood the whole bath-as-method-of-calming-down-before-bed thing as my kids have always had a right laugh in the bath, and if anything it wakes them up more!
Anyway, enough chat, sorry - am rambling on. Its the exhaustion! Does anyone have any advice for me? Please? Anyone? I know it will eventually pass (my daughter the poor sleeper was all sorted out by 18 months) but that is not much comfort at the moment!

wonderstuff Fri 17-Oct-08 13:08:14

My dd is like this, and our solution was to get a bedside cot, she still wakes up, but I don't have to get up to her, can just roll over and bf, then roll her back. I am still tired, but not really really overtired like I was when I was getting up to her. No cry sleep solution may be worth a go, I have a copy but as yet don't have energy to read it lol!

sowot Fri 17-Oct-08 13:18:57

That sounds desperate, you have my sympathy. We just move no. 3 into kids room and kids into our room a week ago. I decided, no boob. Just water. Little cuddle if nec but pref stay in cot. Anyway No. 3 is 9 months, and woke 3 times the 1st night and settled in 30mins, and since has woken 1 or two times mostly going back to sleep in 5 mins. Even sleeping through my sleep time twice. So its been a big help not having her so close - she was in her cot at the end of our bed or in our bed, waking more and more frequently - like all night for feeding, cuddles.
I must say I'm lucky no 3 has always gone to bed/naps well and isn't anxious if I leave the room which obviously makes it easier. I'm a softly softly kind of mum, but enough is enough, you need your sleep -for the sake of the whole family I guess. Make it a family project. My big ones are so proud of the little one now, not least 'cos they see the diff in me. I know the fear of having everyone awake, could they camp downstairs for the first few nights or even stay somewhere else?
I don't know about sleep separation, but whatever you decide, stick to it. GOOD LUCK!

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