hi, my dd is 13 weeks, very smiley seemingly reaaly happy little thing. feeds well, good weight gain etc. she has never had a sleepy newborn phase, been alert and curious from day one. also have ds 2.2 who was very similar. my query is regarding settling to sleep. with ds i think i held him for all day sleeps until 6months, this would settle him, he fought every sleep but with little or no crying. with dd, seems that holding seems counter productive-have consistantly ie over several days before assessing, cuddling, rocking, wearing sling, rocking in pram or in amby nest. no difference to just putting down and leaving her! in fact, any intervention just prolongs or postpones the hysterical screaming before sudden drop to sleep. usual cry for 4 mins, though can be longer for first nap of day. i set timer for 5 mins and go to reassure i/m still there if not gone by then, other than first nap will nearly always be gone at dead on 4 mins. doesn't happen at bedtime or in the night.
is this just what she needs to do? feel like i'm leaving my baby to cry herself to sleep! but she wants to.....
Doesn't sound like a problem to me -- it's very different to leaving her upset for hours. Some babies get to sleep better without people fussing round them, and I'm sure you know the difference between a tired grizzle and an upset scream.
Could be her way of shutting external things out so she can get to sleep? Sounds like a definite pattern so maybe there's nothing you can do? DS also v calm happy baby (unlike big sis was) but if he gets upset at naptime I sometimes stay with him, leave my hand on his chest for reassurance. Probaby reduces length of crying ever so slightly. DH does a kind of wobbling motion on DS's chest with his hand that he swears by.
thank you for replying. i do often stay in room, pottering or chatting to son etc so she knows shes not alone. any kind of direct intervention, even hand on tummy jusy prolongs it. was out with dh today and could see he was uncomfortable with my just leave her alone commands! but it worked....did another sleep walking with her in sling. she screamed for 4 mins...
screaming to shut down outside stimunlation may be the answer
She used to sleep so well but then suddenly started fighting her day sleep- taking about 45mins to get her to sleep! No matter what we tried didnt work and often made her worse.
I started putting her upstairs in her moses basket and leaving her. She would settle in minutes and actually slept much longer than normal. It was like having a different child! I just stand in the doorway for a few minutes and shes out like a light.
I put it down to her being more alert and too much going on to stimulate her. When out and about it can take a while to get her off to sleep as theres so much going on- nosey mare!
Some babys just seem to prefer to self settle themselves.