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Transition from cot to bed: need the definitive answer please!!!!!

(14 Posts)
eviz Wed 08-Oct-08 22:11:42

I am really really really struggling to get DD1 (2.2yrs) to stay in her bed.

I put back to bed without a word every time she gets out.

Lunchtimes are becoming particularly hideous. Spent an hour and a half on the landing today putting her back to bed before giving up (she was playing, jumping up and down on bed etc) Most times she was out of bed again before I'd left the room.

What is the right approach? Do I need a stairgate on the bedroom door and just leave her to get on with it? I feel like going in every 2 mins to put her back is turning into a big game.

Please someone reply, this really is killing me!

Spoo Wed 08-Oct-08 22:15:42

My DS1 did this with me. You need to keep going with the 'rapid return' as Tanya Byron likes to call it. I would suggest you drop the daytime sleep if she doesn't want one and perhaps encourgae some down time. We have our down time in front of the tele on my bed.

With bedtime, she shoudl be more tired esp if she doesn't have a daytime nap. Keep going with the rapid return. I sympathise, we did nights and nights of it. If possibel share the load with someone else. Counting them is also good fun for later years. Our record was 98 returns. See if you can beat that. It will also give you confidence when the returns are reducing.

yomellamoHelly Wed 08-Oct-08 22:23:18

We also played the rapid return game again and again and again. It eventually morphed into ds mucking about in his room (and most often them falling asleep on the floor). I would go in and plonk him in bed again if it sounded like he was having too much fun for someone who was meant to be in bed wink. Now (nearly 5) he sings to himself for up to half an hour in bed before going to sleep. He's always been hard work where sleep was concerned though.

eviz Wed 08-Oct-08 22:25:31

cheers spoo

Evenings aren't too bad

Do you do the 'returns' as soon as she's out of bed, or wait until she opens the door?

We have a infra-red video monitor so can see as soon as she's up - my DP advocates lying her back down as soon as she's sitting up, but then he's never had a lunchtime nap and bouncing off the ceiling to contend with!

Is a stairgate on the room the answer??

Sick of standing on the bloody landing! Might get a chalkboard and start counting tomorrow.. grin

eviz Wed 08-Oct-08 22:28:14

thanks yomella - DD has always been a trouble-free sleeper till we introduced the bed (thumb sucker + she loved routine so v. easy)

This has really floored me! The rapid return is turning into a big game which she is winning hmm

onceinalifetime Wed 08-Oct-08 22:33:35

Eviz, it might be time to drop the daytime sleep - my dd dropped it at exactly 2 and my ds who is 2.3 is not always having an afternoon nap now.

As far the rapid return thing is concerned, I think you just have to stick at it. I don't like Supernanny but they had this problem on tonight and said that standing on the landing is an issue in itself as it's giving the child an audience and they think it's a game. She advocated hiding in another bedroom or going downstairs out of the way. My ds does it from time to time and we don't have an infra red thing but do it as soon as we hear the door opening.

I remember it being on Tanya Byron's show once and the dad did over 160 returns one night - sorry spoo!

Twinklemegan Wed 08-Oct-08 22:34:43

I agree about dropping the daytime nap. My DS (same age as your DD1) gives me no end of hassle at naptime, and I generally give up after 5 or 10 minutes. Night times are no problem at all. He's still in a cot but I think he'll be ready for a bed soon because the last few weeks he's been happy to snuggle down and be covered over and we don't hear a peep out of him. This leads me to believe that when he plays up in the daytime he genuinely doesn't need the nap. We do quiet time instead in those circumstances.

NellyTheElephant Wed 08-Oct-08 22:35:32

I would not survive without the stair gate on the door!!

With DD1 (who went into a bed around 22 months) I used it across her door for a few months before she became reliable about staying put (although it was only a few weeks or so before she got the hang of going to bed - I kept the gate on to prevent 6am wandering). Mainly I just left her to it (her room is safe), only returning her to her bed if she was really running around too much. She soon got bored and started going to bed well.

Now the stair gate is back as DD2 is driving us all (including poor DD1 who she shares a room with!) mad in the evenings. She's 20 months and moved into a bed 2 ish weeks ago as she was climbing out of the cot. We ignore her. Any sort of return or telling her to get back into bed just gets her more excited. She's generally very happy, although DD1 not so keen when she tries to get into bed with her. If we ignore her she usually gets into her own bed within half an hour or so. SIGH. Hopefully the novelty will wear off soon.

BroccoliSpears Wed 08-Oct-08 22:37:57

We have a stairgate on the door. Don't know how we'd cope without it!

Having said that, we never ever leave her if she's upset or crying or having a tantrum. The stairgate just keeps her happily in her room until she puts herself to bed - it narrows her options.

SmugColditz Wed 08-Oct-08 22:39:13

It's time to drop the nap.

eviz Wed 08-Oct-08 22:41:27

Thanks for this

I am not keen to drop the LTN (when it works she sleeps 1.5hrs and is asleep again for 7:30pm). Plus the 5pm meltdown is unspeakably bad so I really think she needs it.

Nelly I posted on an old thread of yours - interesting, youd DD2 sounds just like mine. She was in fits of giggles and thrashing around this lunchtime every time I put her back. I did try to go downstairs in between - took me half an hour to chop a bloody onion!! Although running up the stairs every time I hear her door is keeping me fit!!

eviz Wed 08-Oct-08 22:43:47

Just a thought, if you have a stairgate, does the door shut? Or do they sleep with the door open? <dumb emoticon>

NellyTheElephant Thu 09-Oct-08 12:08:25

Re door open or shut, it depends on the configuration of your door / gate! With mine I put the gate on in the door frame outside the bedroom and the door opens inwards so can be either open or shut inside it, however both girls like the door to be open so they'll always open it if I shut it (I only shut it if they are making too much noise playing etc then it's like a threat - 'RIGHT, now the door's going to be shut, I don't want to hear another squeak from either of you' etc)

I'd definitely give the gate a go, it really does help. Funnily enough DD2 has now become great at her lunch time naps again, she will just put herself straight to bed (usually) unlike her evening antics, but if not it's no harm for her to have some 'quiet'(!) time in her room pottering about and looking at her books. At least I get to go and have a shower!

eviz Thu 09-Oct-08 19:20:58

Nelly! Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. The gate is now UP. First night has gone without a hitch (but she was exhausted as no LTN). We're out again tomorrow over lunch, but Saturday will be the real test.

How long do you leave your DD for over lunchtime? Did you just ignore her completely to begin with, or did you put her back to bed at all?

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