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Is this co-sleeping or slack parenting?

(23 Posts)
BroccoliSpears Tue 07-Oct-08 20:52:58

Ds likes to feed to sleep lying down (why wouldn't he?!) and often when he falls asleep in my bed I just leave him in with me for the night or until the next feed. I don't spend the night curled around him and when he wakes for the next feed I shuffle over and doze while feeding him, and then usually shuffle off again when I notice he's fallen off.

He's not in danger from duvet / pillow / dh rolling on to him. I am wondering though if we're falling foul of SIDS guidelines . Also wondering what we'll do when he starts to roll...

Gawd I assumed a second child would be a heavier sleeper than the first! He always wakes up if I lift him in to his cot.

nickytwoooohtimes Tue 07-Oct-08 20:55:15

Sounds like a good idea. Means you get some sleep!
I was a militant anti-co-sleeper wuth ds, but have totally mellowed about it now and if number 2 ever comes along, I'll definitely be feeding and dozing in bed.

policywonk Tue 07-Oct-08 20:55:44

I think you're just doing what an awful lot of people do but don't admit to in public!

How old is he?

chequers Tue 07-Oct-08 20:56:17

I| have the same problem although have started to get dd back in her crib but can only keep her asleep by pinning her arms by her side so she can't wake herself up with them.

Still feeed lying down and doze while she sleeps.

BroccoliSpears Tue 07-Oct-08 20:57:02

He's 5 1/2 months.

bogie Tue 07-Oct-08 20:57:34

I do that with dd I did with ds aswell its the only way I get any rest

swampster Tue 07-Oct-08 20:58:26

Sleeping like that with a baby is my favourite thing in the world!

Many would argue that you are reducing the risk of SIDS.

sleepycat Tue 07-Oct-08 20:58:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mazzystartled Tue 07-Oct-08 21:02:02

sounds like the most natural thing in the world

i didn't co-sleep with mine until they were 3 months or so - they didn't seem to need to, but both were in with us from then until 20 months or so, rather lovely

Louandben Tue 07-Oct-08 21:06:48

I was doing the same thing too, but it has started to worry me now she can almost roll over, so I end up not sleeping properly either because now that the weather has changed I am cold when she is in the middle of me and DS (trying to keep duvet well below or under her) or I am scared she will fall off the bed on outside. Have started swaddling her (at 16 weeks!) and it has worked beautifully for keeping her in cot, for the last two nights at least!

BroccoliSpears Tue 07-Oct-08 21:15:30

Oh good, not just me then, and not definitely bad.

OldieButGoldie Tue 07-Oct-08 22:32:28

Has anyone really answered the question about when they start to roll/crawl though? Do they tend to fall out the bed or do they stay put?

Just wondering as I am also reaching this stage with DS

swampster Tue 07-Oct-08 22:37:33

I had a bedside cot, which was great for my peace of mind. But more often than not the wee thing would be between me and DH.

I have a very laid back mate whose answer to that kind of question invariably is: "They only do it once..."

TooTicky Tue 07-Oct-08 22:39:14

Co-sleeping is as much about convenience as it is about attachment parenting. It is allowing you and lo to sleep so carry on.

ches Wed 08-Oct-08 02:39:00

Co-sleeping, definitely; isn't it wonderful? If you don't want to, you can take the side off the cot and put it next to the bed. For alternate feeds you can pop him in his cot and lean over it for him to nurse in his bed. I used to time it so bedtime one was on my side of the bed, next one into his which gave DH and I some time to cuddle. wink

BroccoliSpears Wed 08-Oct-08 14:02:29

I thought co-sleeping was all about being curled up together and the baby latching on and off as they want to, and your breathing regulating theirs etc. Not just happening to be asleep in the same bed at the same time because it's easier.

(I mean, I do like sleeping with ds but I'd be just as happy if he were happy in his cot).

mehdismummy Wed 08-Oct-08 21:17:18

i have co slept with ds now 2.7 years since birth and still do, i love it and i found it easier to bf at night when he was a baby he slept in my arms till 4 months then rolled onto his tummy at 4 months and slept on his own, always had the bed pushed right up against the wall so he could not roll!!

Starshiptrooper Thu 09-Oct-08 12:21:07

Put the matress on the floor? I'm thinking about doing this. At the moment if I take her into bed I fall asleep clutching on to ger sleeping bag and wake up with a sore hand. I also sometimes sleep in my wooly cardy to stop getting cold!

EffiePerine Thu 09-Oct-08 12:34:16

whatever works

DS used to sleep between DH and I so no prob with rolling, but you could get a bedside guard thing if you're worried (one of the pop up ones for toddler beds)

EffiePerine Thu 09-Oct-08 12:34:52

like this

www.kiddicare.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10001&catalogId=10751&langId=-1&p roductId=13514&source=froogle&cm_mmc=Froogle-_-Shopping%20Sites-_-CPC-_-Froogle

OrmIrian Thu 09-Oct-08 12:36:13

We did this with all of ours. Surely co-sleeping is juat sleeping with your baby but fwiw i don't care what it's called. It was the best thing for us.

beansprout Thu 09-Oct-08 20:19:40

Ds2 (8 months) spends most of the time in our bed. I didn't set out to do this but it is definitely working and we are all getting a lot more sleep. I still have a nagging doubt about the notion that he "should" be in a separate cot but clearly he is happy and so am I so I'm not about to change it.

Tis a guilty pleasure and that's a bit sad really. sad

swampster Thu 09-Oct-08 22:06:12

Dr Sears explains why co-sleeping is brilliant

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