co-sleeping - what was your experience?(15 Posts)
I'm beginning to think co- sleeping is the way forward for me and DS who is 6.5 months. This isn't something I had really planned on and am a bit uncertain about it.
Situation is - he is breastfed and he has always woken several times during the night and has always fed back to sleep. He also feeds to sleep when he is put down for the night or for a nap, the only time he doesn't need this is if he is in the car or on the move in the pushchair. I was fine with this as he always settled really quickly but lately he doesn't settle as easily and prefers to be in bed with me where we both get a better sleep.
Trying to keep it brief , my concerns are the usual ie. if I go down this road will I ever get him to sleep in his own bed, if so when and will it be a difficult transition? And will he ever drop the night feeds if I am there 'on tap', so to speak?
Can anyone with experience of co-sleeping tell me what has happened in their experience or any other thoughts on the matter from anyone else?
I think if you, ds and your partner are happy with this then do it. You can't predict how things will be in a few months' time and you may find you are all ready to move him to his own room sooner than you think. I was never able to sleep properly with ds in the same bed, and ds would never settle properly either, so it didn't work out for us but if it works for you then great!
Have you had a look at bedside cots/co-sleeprs btw? That could be a compromise and something I am considering for baby #2. That way you would still be right there if he needed a cuddle or to bf, but he would still be in his own space so that when the time comes the transition may be easier?
Mothercare do one - check this out :
I've had my ds in with us, mostly, since about this age. He sleeps better, and I find it a lot easier than getting up to get him - he is 17m and until recently was still feeding several x a night.
At the moment we seem to be in some sort of transition. He wakes and asks for a feed, but after latching on he quite often goes off again after a minute. Or he will stop sucking and I put him off. If I didn't want to jinx things I'd say he was dropping night feeds <<crosses fingers>>
Thanks for that bmm. Not sure how that would be, I have tried pulling his cot right up to my bed and putting my arms through the bars but he wasn't impressed!
phd - do you still try putting him in his cot at all or does he just sleep in your bed all night? Fingers crossed for you he is self weaning now!
I am still co-sleeping with DS who is nearly 17 months old. He starts in his own bed then joins me when I go to bed (though we are stretching this out at the moment so he is doing longer and longer in his own bed) In my experience:
- I am back at work now, so I love having extra snuggly time with him
- We both get more sleep, especially if he is unwell or teething
- Still bf so its easy when he wakes up in the night
- Had to kick DH out of the family bed as it was too small for all 3 of us. DH wants to come back....
- As he gets bigger he takes up more of the bed so I end up scrunched into a corner
- Having to deal with odd looks/comments from people to whom this is an alien concept
Overall, the pros definitely outweigh the cons for me. I fell into co-sleeping as a bit of a coping strategy for the many wake-ups but would definitely do it again.
Ooh preggers, thats the bit I'm looking for, when you can start to stretch it out so they spend more time in their own bed. Second time 17 months has been mentioned as a time things have started to change. Only 10.5 months to go then
About half the time, I try to get him in his cot before we go to bed (I put him down on our bed, because I still snuggle him to sleep). It's a toss-up between wanting to cuddle dh when we go to bed, and knowing that I'll have to get up and fetch ds, usually just as I'm getting warm! Some nights he's there for longer, but he always ends up with us at some point.
I've given up putting him back in his cot after he's come in with us, though. I can't believe I did that for all the months he was feeding every 2 hrs
It is hard, when he's teething, because if he can't sleep he squirms, keeping me awake. But I figure, it wouldn't be any easier if he was doing that in his cot. And it is lovely, waking up to him all snuggly with us (dh benefits from this too).
I probably could have tried stretching it a bit earlier, but before now he seemed to know when it was time for me to come to bed and would wake around that time screaming for me, and wouldn't settle until I came up and brought him into bed with me!
Its only recently that he's been sleeping longer stretches and I think that its down to a break between molars coming through.
Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? There are some good ideas and tips in there. Some of them work....although clearly I haven't cracked it yet, but tbh not been trying very hard as I'm not convinced I am ready to stop co-sleeping let alone DS. Its great, I love it!
We had a side car arrangement, I really like it as I can lean in to feed or the baby comes to find me, but most of the time you each have your space.
My DD was a pretty bad sleeper, but she stopped night feeding gradually around 18 months, I think I did a bit of refusing to feed a few times too and she got the message. When she was nearly 3, and I was pg, we set up her room, chose a bed and covers etc, and she asked to sleep in there, I was quite shocked as she was/is a very attatched child! We had prepared her for ages before though, pointing out characters in books that had their own beds and rooms etc.
DS is still there atm and is 15 months, he is a much better sleeper and sometimes makes it to 6ish before a feed, sometimes not.
don't know if this will be helpful - I co-slept with DS (but not DH ) until DS was nearly 6mo, when we both started to sleep less well - since then he sleeps most nights in his cot. I still feed him to sleep (and expect that this might cause probs in the future <sigh>) and then put him in his cot, where he usually stays quite happily. I occasionally will still bring him into my bed, if he is v. unhappy or refusing to go back to sleep after a feed, and always bring him into my bed when he wakes in the morning. He is now 10mo and seems to be ok.
Wow, so often it seems DP gets booted out of the bed when co-sleeping! I don;t have that problem as am on my own anyway, although it would be nice to think I may have a new partner one day
Am familiar with No Cry Sleep Solutions but am very lazy, especially during the night cannot follow anything through
oh don't worry, OBG, it was his choice really as he "didn't want to be woken in the night or he wouldn't be fit for work" .
Don't worry, I made him pay, he still does all the cooking
The thing with bedside cots is that you only have 3 sides up, so there are no bars between you and dc - then when you are ready you can put the 4th side up, then eventually move them into their own room. just means you all have a LOT more space!
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