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Is it ok to let baby fall asleep on me?

(26 Posts)
Hackers79 Wed 01-Oct-08 14:24:22

I have a 9 week old baby. She loves her sleep and although there is no set pattern she has lots of naps and sleeps well at night in her moses in our bedroom.

However, she likes to be held over the shoulder to fall asleep. She finds it so comforting and falls asleep within 5mins. I then pop her in her moses and she's out cold for a few hours or 5-6 hours at night.

Am I doing the right thing? Does this mean she will always need to fall asleep on someone's shoulder. i met a maternity nurse yesterday who said I making a rod for my own back. Before this, I'd come to the conclusion that because she was a good sleeper when she went down I should repay the favour by letting her go to sleep happy having a cuddle from mummy.

What does everyone think?

Thanks x

Hackers79 Wed 01-Oct-08 14:28:44

I should have also said that if I try and put her down before she is properly drowsy she really cries to be picked up again. When I do pick her up it's like a switch and her eyes close again! so basically she can't get herself to sleep.

nailpolish Wed 01-Oct-08 14:30:43

take the rod out of your back and beat the maternity nurse around the head with it

i think having a baby falling asleep on your shoulder/tummy is lovely and there will be no rod for your back fgs

your baby is 9 weeks old - all she wants/needs is her mummy and to be close to you - make the most of these cosy moments as they grow far too quickly smile

Cappuccino Wed 01-Oct-08 14:30:56

I think you do what you are happy with

a rod for your own back? hmm

mine are nearly 4 and 8 now and I remember them falling asleep on me as babies and how lovely it was

yes it was a bit of a mare teaching them to sleep alone but you deal with it when you come to it

you can't get that memory again

luckywinner Wed 01-Oct-08 14:31:49

Ignore the bloomin' maternity nurse. If you are still doing this in two year's time then I will come and tell you off. I did the same with my ds1 who is now 3 and I got so paranoid I endured 4 weeks of some book guru's methods of getting him to go to sleep by himself and I was so stressed. If I look back now I should have just enjoyed the snuggles as they are not that age forever. My dd, who never slept on me, went through a huge phase of waking in the night around 6 months wanting to be cuddled so from my experiences, it makes no difference.

She sounds like a fab sleeper. It is hard with your first to know what is ahead of you and sometimes when people say things like that it makes you doubt what you are doing and stress more but she sounds so content, and as long as you are happy ignore what the maternity nurse says!

Hope that helps smile

Snaf Wed 01-Oct-08 14:32:26

Anyone who uses the phrase 'rod for your own back' needs shooting imo - especially a 'maternity nurse' hmm

Your baby is 9 weeks old. She lives for cuddles and comfort from you right now. You're doing fine, both of you, don't worry about it for a moment.

Trust your instincts - they're right on the money - and ignore the 'helpful' advice from... no, I won't say it grin

luckywinner Wed 01-Oct-08 14:32:59

grin Nailpolish. I wish someone had said that to me with my first! I would have given them a good whack.

Hackers79 Wed 01-Oct-08 14:33:49

thanks. that's what i think, but I'm a first time mum and I suppose when someone with that much experience says something like that, a bit of panic sets in. At the end of the day what's 5 mins on my shoulder when she manages to sleep on her own.......

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 01-Oct-08 14:34:20

Message withdrawn

Snaf Wed 01-Oct-08 14:34:24

The only time I ever get broody is when I think of those lovely neck/shoulder snuggles when ds was tiny... Naily is right - you can't get those moments back so make the most of them.

nailpolish Wed 01-Oct-08 14:35:56

oh god Snaf YES - feeling their tiny little breathes on your neck - tickly - from their teen y tiny little noses

the smell of the top of their velvety head

snuffly noises

BecauseImWorthIt Wed 01-Oct-08 14:36:35

Well ....

I think talking about rods and backs was probably a bit harsh, but she does have a point.

Yes, at this age it is lovely to have them snuggled up on you (I can still remember the feel of that hot, hard, downy head!), but your baby does also have to learn to go to sleep on her own, without being cuddled.

Sorry - probably not what you wanted to hear, but I can see where your MN was coming from!

Hackers79 Wed 01-Oct-08 14:36:43

cool. i'll cuddle away as I do love it and it definitely makes you feel like you have a special bond

nailpolish Wed 01-Oct-08 14:37:53

why does she have to "learn" to sleep on her own fgs

Cappuccino Wed 01-Oct-08 14:38:15

making dh make you a cup of tea because 'she's asleep, look, and I can't move'

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 01-Oct-08 14:39:22

Message withdrawn

Hackers79 Wed 01-Oct-08 14:39:52

i think i will give myself a time limit BecauseImWorthit because weirdly it's only the day time naps she needs cuddles. In the night she is a model student (think the dark helps and she knows I'm in the room?)

also - it's wasn't my maternity nurse.


girlandboy Wed 01-Oct-08 14:40:15

Keep on doing what you are doing - they are tiny for such a short time. I still love it if my kids nod off while having a cuddle. Ds is aged 8 now, but occasionally does this even now AND I LOVE IT!!!!!!

Snaf Wed 01-Oct-08 14:42:25

You sound as if the two of you are doing absolutely beautifully, hackers. Just go with the flow atm - plenty of time for 'learning' much, much later on.

LynetteScavo Wed 01-Oct-08 14:44:25

I think having your baby fall asleep on you is one of the loveliest things about being a mum. smile

BecauseImWorthIt Wed 01-Oct-08 14:48:59

If she's going to sleep well at night, then there's no problem! Just enjoy her.

MadameOvary Sun 05-Oct-08 23:06:02

I love when DD falls asleep on me so much that I am taking photos to remember (cue me all double chinned looking crap but happy) grin
I will happily stay pinned to the sofa while she sleeps. So as everyone says, just enjoy it smile

LadyOfWaffle Sun 05-Oct-08 23:08:35

I let DS fall asleep on me/feeding etc. and it definatly did not build a rod for my back! DS (6 weeks) is asleep on me right now!

Habbibu Sun 05-Oct-08 23:11:29

9 weeks! Bloody hell - she has a looong time in which to "learn" to fall asleep on her own. MN needs a slap her head examining. Ignore any rod-for-own-back talk - it just blights what should be lovely times with your baby.

ElfOnTheTopShelf Sun 05-Oct-08 23:17:34

I hate the phrase "rod for own back".
DD used to love falling asleep on my shoulder.
Its her third birthday tomorrow and I really miss those sleeping on chest / shoulder moments.

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