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All those opposed to Controlled Crying...

(57 Posts)
Jennyusedtobepink Fri 26-Sep-08 13:20:44

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/5/614755 ]]

So I started the above thread this morning, and whilst researching other similar threads on MN, came across one that called CC 'assault'.

SO for all those parents vehemently opposed to controlled crying, WWYD in my shoes???

<PJ desperately trying not to be confrontational>

Jennyusedtobepink Fri 26-Sep-08 13:21:18

fgs

Jennyusedtobepink Fri 26-Sep-08 13:27:20

Really? No one?

PuppyMonkey Fri 26-Sep-08 13:29:36

Sorry - what's the question???

ruddynorah Fri 26-Sep-08 13:32:28

ok.

what time does she go to bed now?

what happens if you cut her nap to half an hour?

Jennyusedtobepink Fri 26-Sep-08 13:32:36

Er, WWYD? When there is no obvious light at the end of the sleeping tunnel with a child that has not slept through in 16 months and now thinks its playtime at 2am.

<and breathe..>

Becky77 Fri 26-Sep-08 13:32:49

It's quite quiet in here today... may explain lak of responses hmm

Jennyusedtobepink Fri 26-Sep-08 13:34:02

She goes to bed between 7 and 8. Last night went straight down at 7. (woke at 9 and then awake from 12am to 2.45am)

I've never consciously cut her nap down, but when she is really tired, she tends to fall asleep on her milk, but still wakes up 2-3 hours later.

ruddynorah Fri 26-Sep-08 13:36:20

there's so much to your other thread it's difficult to imagine it or break it down.

can you explain stuff to her? i mean is she the sort of child who can be explained to?

Jennyusedtobepink Fri 26-Sep-08 13:36:57

here

This is the thread I'm referring to. I would stress however that I have always agreed with the ladies to an extent, but I am lost now in relation to finding an answer.

Jennyusedtobepink Fri 26-Sep-08 13:38:26

ruddynorah - At 16mo I can say things like, 'are you tired', 'do you want to go to bed' etc etc and she understands.

In the middle of the night last night, I was trying desperately to reason with her and keep my tone low and voice calm, but whenever I mentioned the words sleep or bedtime she started having a dicky fit.

PuppyMonkey Fri 26-Sep-08 13:40:30

Sorry, bit dim and got confused by link to other thread. So if you're asking would I do cc, the answer is no. I would do cold turkey.

BoysAreLikeDogs Fri 26-Sep-08 13:40:56

Jenny

I have looked at your other thread.

I think you need to pick one technique to use and then stick to it.

DD may be confused by crying for 2 hours then being given milk, then allowed into your bed.

(I think that's what you described, I got a bit confused blush)

So

Shush/pat, pupd, rapid return, withdrawal, whatever, start it and stick to it.

Be prepared for a few long nights, and for the problem to escalate before it improves.

Good luck

Jennyusedtobepink Fri 26-Sep-08 13:41:11

And just let her cry it out until she falls asleep?

Jennyusedtobepink Fri 26-Sep-08 13:42:11

BALD - I can't believe I've started giving her milk in the night. Most of the time I can't even get her to drink milk. Talk about rod for your own back.

PuppyMonkey Fri 26-Sep-08 13:42:39

Yep! Two or three nights worth of hell, then problem solved!

BoysAreLikeDogs Fri 26-Sep-08 13:43:01

Plus you are tired and hence not thinking straight

Awww

ruddynorah Fri 26-Sep-08 13:43:13

i think you need to concentrate on her bedroom, to stop the going into your room thing.

so how nice is her room? does she have a night light or one of those glo worms or something to help her know it's bed time and that bed time is a nice thing? how does the bedtime routine go? is it all about how snuggly and nice her bedroom is? does she have a snuggly toy or something? can you go and buy something special with her?

Maveta Fri 26-Sep-08 13:43:38

oh you poor thing sad

I kind of am/am not against cc. I think it has it's place and imho 16mo would definitely fall into that category. And I am the wettest blanket in the box re. cc. Never got more than about 1 min into it in the past but ds (17mo) hadn't ever slept the night through either until about a week ago.

Do you still breastfeed? When I cut out night feeds his nightwaking went from once to 3-5 times a night but dh went instead of me [evil grin] and we were getting pretty desperate about it. That lasted a couple of weeks and when it didn't look like settling on it's own dh decided to cc him. Although it was more 'blearily ignoring him and burying head under covers'. Miracle of miracles after a few nights he started sleeping through!

I doubt I've been of much practical help but maybe just knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel might help? In your shoes, I would totally get dh to do cc.

Jennyusedtobepink Fri 26-Sep-08 13:43:42

And just wanting the crying to stop. I'm such a sap. Supernanny would have a bloody field day.

ruddynorah Fri 26-Sep-08 13:45:20

well first thing, like i say is to keep her in her room. even if at first this means you end up sleeping in there, not ideal. but at least she's getting the idea that she does not go in your room.

Jennyusedtobepink Fri 26-Sep-08 13:46:04

Oh, those gloworms are fab. Maybe that's a good idea - I do have a night light but I've never used it.

Routine is just play, bath, milk, bed. Nothing exciting but I stick to it rigidly. It's what happens then that is so unpredictable.

Maveta - what have you done with ds - details please?? No, not BFing.

foodfiend Fri 26-Sep-08 13:47:31

Apols if this is the obvious, but have you tried staying with her in her own bed/room until she sleeps, and then move further away every few nights. We did this with dd when nearly 5months as she was up 9 or 10 times a night, so very different scenario, but very effective. The first few days were hard (an hour or so of crying, but she'd been crying that much in the night anyway), but it was easier to keep resolve at 8pm than the middle of the night, and as has been said on the other thread, you have to follow through, which is almost impossible in the middle of the night when you're shattered. You do the same drill all night if they wake again (dd was still night feeding then), but we found that she settled better after feeds right from day 1.

fwiw i'm not opposed to cc as such, but really didn't want to do it if I could help it... and was happy we didn't need to.

PuppyMonkey Fri 26-Sep-08 13:47:40

Get prepared mentally asu will feel awful throughout this ordeal but far less cruel in the long run - choose a day when you can have a lie in maybe. Put baby to bed at 7 or whatever, leave room. Don't go back in.

BoysAreLikeDogs Fri 26-Sep-08 13:47:53

DP did CC with DS1 at about this age - of course back in them days we didn't know it had a name har har har

I stayed downstairs sobbing while DP did it. Music/telly on to drown the sound, which on reflection wasn't too bad.

He hung over the cot, patting/rubbing/shushing.

Took literally three nights, tops.

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