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More advice on co-sleeping please... what about daytime naps...

(16 Posts)
mumeroo Tue 23-Sep-08 19:31:40

hello, we are co-sleeping with our 9 week old and it really is absolutely lovely. He wakes twice a night which isn't much so I'm getting good sleep, as we all are. The only thing I wonder about is do any of you find your little ones won't sleep in a cot during the day? I have carried my DS in a sling ( a very good one which doesn't hurt my back at all I might add) but I'm finding it a little tough going always carrying him for naps and at the same time looking after my older toddler. Anyone have any suggestions... really want to keep co-sleeping but DH has been saying it is making daytime sleep other than in the sling impossible... anyone else found another way around this. Would really value advice on this - been trying to get him to sleep in his cot but he's not happy with it at all and not sure what to do at all...
thank you.

morningpaper Tue 23-Sep-08 19:33:14

I tried:
- rocking pram in the kitchen
- toddler in front of CBeebies
- walking into town to have lunch with toddler as soon as baby falls asleep in pram/sling
- lying down with toddler with headphones and stories on ipod

Becky77 Tue 23-Sep-08 19:42:11

Have you tried a moses basket? They can be more comfy because mattress is slightly curved and the sides cocoon them. Also have you blackened out the windows?

thisisyesterday Tue 23-Sep-08 19:55:00

I used to feed to sleep on the bed and then leave him there.
or, if I could I would verty carefully move him into cot once asleep,.

actually, I STILL do that and he's nearly 11 months :S

Anna8888 Tue 23-Sep-08 19:56:09

Yes, feed him to sleep in the middle of a big double bed and leave him there.

girlsallaround Tue 23-Sep-08 20:17:32

i did that with dd1 and it turned out very difficult when she stopped falling asleep with feeding and i would have to lie next to her for up to an hour to get her to fall asleep, at nap and at night.

i therefore did not cosleep with dd2 and her sleep habits are wonderful

i am now pg with dd3 and will not cosleep

dd1 is still cosleeping with us and she is nearly four!

NappiesGalore Tue 23-Sep-08 20:29:48

thing is, girlsallaround, is that a part of those differences are just personality, not neccessarily down to co-sleeping as a baby or not...

i had a fisher price swing which ds3 ( a co-sleeper) used to sit in for seemingly vast tracts of every day (i had 2 toddlers to run about after)... i would feed the baby, put him in the swing and switch it on and hed sit and sometimes sleep for up to 4 hours till next feed time. was magic! others have said it wasnt quite as easy for them, but worth a try? this sort of thing

mumeroo Tue 23-Sep-08 21:05:00

sorry - a long one!

If i feed him to sleep and then move off, he always wakes up (without fail)... not surprisingly he likes the warmth from me. if it worked it would be fine but for him it just doesn't...

Been trying with the moses basket but he's really probably too big already and when we put him down asleep he always wakes after 20 minutes... feeling knackered by trying that and he's gone from being a baby who doesn't cry because I carry him to a very overtired little chap. Feel majorly weepy about the whole thing as not sure I want to be carrying an over 20 pounder. With my first, we didnt' co sleep and he was never a particularly good sleeper but he's a very happy child so am wondering if perhaps I'm just obsessing over things that ultimately will be a phase and soon will pass. I love co-sleeping and I love carrying DS in his sling but being able to put him down for a nap seems impossible and not sure I can endure using a process like pick up put down as it's so heart breaking...

morning paper... those are things I will try... so far have been walking A LOT. but with things getting rainier I must employ other tactics...

girlsallaround - I have been giving this much thought and am not sure what I think about what I would do if we had another. I think attachment parenting is a beautiful thing but I also think it stems from us being tribal beings which in the modern age we simply aren't which is why it has its difficulties despite being the most natural way to look after our babies.. I can see where you are coming from totally... it's making life looking after my older child quite tricky. nappies galore, funny you should say that... we bought a swing only the other day. You have all cheered me up tremendously... so good to share this as feeling a bit crazy confused about things. A good rest should help and a good natter so thanks. any more thoughts I'm all ears

NappiesGalore Tue 23-Sep-08 21:11:17

you are v v welcome, ive been there! got the t-shirt... (well, i had the t-shirt, but someone got snot, puke, sauce and milk on it and then put it down somewhere and never saw it again... sorry, what was i saying? lol)

whack him in the swing and stick the swing setting on high and ignore him for a bit - in the same room so he can see you - the swinging seemed to adequately stand in for being held all the time and he was fine in there. hope it works for you!

mumeroo Tue 23-Sep-08 21:14:21

ah thanks nappies you are a sweetie. just so drained and needed to hear that! i'm getting lots of looks from friends who aren't co sleeping and a sense 'ive made a rod for my own back'. last thing i need to hear. and family think the same. Ha! I almost bought posh pjamas when I was pregnant and then remembered what on earth was I thinking! They are in the wash more than I wear them. wink

hellymelly Tue 23-Sep-08 21:15:57

Well,both mine either napped on the pillow they were fed on,which I left on the sofa as long as I was there too,or were popped down into a moses basket,or slept in the sling.When they got bigger they were( one still is) put into the big bed (mattress on floor)for the daytime nap after falling asleep on the breast or in the sling.works fine,they are both still in the bed at night.

mumeroo Tue 23-Sep-08 21:19:51

ah now that is very interesting hellymelly. that gives me heart as DH and I have talked about continuing cosleeping but only if daytime naps without me lying down or wearing the sling will be possible...
DH is away from the home for 12 or more hours and I just really will need a bit of rest (we have family nearby but by bedtime I'm knackered and toddler (who is in his own room) likes to make going to bed a pretty long process. Thanks for that.

thisisyesterday Tue 23-Sep-08 21:24:43

have a big pillow on the other side of you while you're feeding him.
then, when you move, quickly put the pillow beside him. it will be warm because you've been leaning on it, and it will smell of you.

NappiesGalore Tue 23-Sep-08 21:31:54

youre doing a great job listening to your own instincts - carry on regardless of ignorant well meaning stickybeaks 'helpful' people and their looks/advice grin

mumeroo Tue 23-Sep-08 21:47:59

thanks yesterday. very cunning ;o certainly will try. yep nappies will try and follow your good advice and thank you am tired of the rod for your own back comment scenario. Just love my boys and want to do what is best and loving for them.

thisisyesterday Wed 24-Sep-08 19:48:08

poah they'll all be sorry one day, you mark my words.
I was reading somewhere the other day of some studies that had shown that although a bf co-sleeping baby may wake a lot throughout it's early life those who didn't and slept well as babies often developed worse sleep as they got older.

so, you can rest assured that when your ds is about 3 or 4 and sleeping like a baby, safe in the knowledge that mama will come if he needs her, their kids may be wreaking havoc on their sleep :P lol

I was thinking about this thread earlier as well and you know, they change their sleep habits SO much within the first year of life, which, when you think about it is nothing in the grand scheme of things.
It's so difficult when you're in the middle of it and you kind of wish it could change but you feel like it's going to be this way forever.
but they do get better at sleep, gradually. my 11 month old was exactly like yours to begin with. in the last 2 weeks I have been able to put him down AWAKE! not only that, it has been IN HIS OWN BED!!!
this is a major breakthrough that I feared would nevber happen until he was about 2.
so, they always have something to surprise you with

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