Good nightsleeper won't nap during day!!

[stewarty]

My 16 wk old ds sleeps 10-12hrs at night ,Hurrah!!But is obviousely tired during the day but will only nap in car,out in pram or being cuddled,any advice on how to establish naps in cot during day.Becomes very grumpy when tired (as does his mummy)

[TracyK]

My ds was the same - would never be put down awake during the day - always much too nosey. I just got him to nap which ever way he wanted to - but always a variety of different ways so not to become dependant on one way. I very often sat for 2 or 3 hours at a time with him snuggled on my tummy fast asleep.
But as he got older he was more willing to go for naps - maybe around the 16 week mark.
Have a look at the babywhisperer web site/book - it tells you how to look for the early sleepy signs.
Although my ds still has his naps on the couch - I like him to know the cot is for night sleep. He has a 2 hour nap in the day and sleeps for about 10 hours a night - so don't stress too much - it's early days.

[mummylonglegs]

My dd slept well at night from early on too. But she'd only ever nap in the pram. On the move. I was knackered and very fed up. Then miraculously when she was about 9 months old dp was looking after her and it was freezing out and he thought I'm sick of this marching round the park for her to sleep, put her in the cot and off she went! I thought it was a fluke but did it myself and we never looked back. It also improved the quality of her naps and the length. Problem since then has been that she won't sleep anywhere except in the cot unless she's utterly exhausted, but still, you win some, you lose some! She's 2.4 now by the way.

[Elf]

I had dreadful problems with dd because I didn't get her used to daytime cot naps. With ds I did very early on, with some stroking encouragement and he is a top daytime sleeper.

It was interesting what mummylonglegs said about her partner because it was dh who got ds to have a proper lunchtime nap at about 16 weeks. Before, he couldn't seem to get past the 45 minute barrier. Maybe they are less stressed about it and the baby just gets on with it?

But back to your present situation, if you are sure he is tired, I would think he is young enough for a bit of persistence from you and whether you keep going back or stroke him in the dark, he will hopefully get used to it and realise cot = sleep. But you have to be consistent. I am not advocating real cc at this age by the way.

I still thank the lord that I am no longer traipsing around pushing the pram along miles of pavements but at lunchtime while ds is in his cot for an hour and a half or more, I can rest myself. Fantastic.

[Elf]

Oh , also I think with dd, I just couldn't believe that if I put her in the cot awake she would go to sleep! I think a lot of it is confidence in what you are doing. I now do believe that DS is tired and that he will go to sleep and he always does, usually without anycrying at all. Though he is 14 months now but he has done that for ages.

[Shell150]

I know exactly how u feel my daughter has alsways bn a gr8 sleeper at nights was going 12 hrs by 2wks but during the day she just point blank refuses 2 sleep, i put her in her cot where she always goes!! and she carries on and put her in her buggy she thinks its gr8 2 pull herself up 2 sit, have tried almost everything and im really struggling, right this moment she is in cot with feet hanging over the side laughing im trying to ignore her!! and just go in every 5 mins to check she hasnt destroyed her cot!! she isn't upset in any way but is tottally shattered!! any advice would b welcomed!!!!!

[anna28]

My 19 week old is similar to Stewarty, she sleeps well at night going down well, no crying. Daytime is such a different story with no way working without tears. Out and about is OK but still doesn't get past 45 mins. Cot is painful....for all. Occasional success in cot and buggy in house but can need up to 5 x 30-45 min sleeps in a day and can take up to 1 hr 30 to get her to sleep so the day is v.long!! We have read all books and not happy with cc so plan to try triggers like massage and nappy change in specific places, fingers crossed. Any suggestions more than welcome - not gf or baby whisperer pls.

[anna28]

A small update on todays efforts for daytime naps that last longer than the time spent trying to put dd down!! All naps approx 30 mins, there were 5, however the sleep triggers; nappy change and sleeping bag seem to be helping along with not giving up when all seems lost - each time got easier! I am not sure how we are going to cope out and about tomorrow though, at peoples house etc. I did try to extend the 11am sleep longer than 30mins but she screamed for 1 hour and 30 and then slept for 15 mins - exhausting for both of us! 4th sleep was quick again and after being up for all of 15mins she rapidly declined into grumpiness and was straight back to bed, whole routine included, for a further 30 mins!!!! Agghhhhhh The main thing is she is happy and I am resigned to her having lots of short naps as long as she goes down easily, cc will never work for me as I am too soft!!

[sleepymama]

I know exactly how you feel Anna28 - my ds is 16 weeks and since 10 weeks has been doing 45 min naps during the day. I have been resorted to tears many a time but last week as a final resort (and having enough of walking the streets with ds in pram) I tried swaddling for ds morning nap. It has worked a treat and ds has managed previously unheard of 2 hour naps for past 4 days !!!!! Th problem is that my HV has scared me about SIDS and swaddling now and so today I tried not to fully swaddle with disasterous results ! so have gone back to swaddling. Sorry - I probably have been no help whatso ever but would like ou to know that you're not alone with a nightmare napper. I just hope that it will get better.

[throckenholt]

my DS1 did this - was awake for 11 hour stretches sometimes.

It took me ages to realise he was overtired. They get tired within 1-2 hours of waking up at that age, if you push them past that they can get overtired and can't go to sleep. The trick is to pick up the signs before they get overtired. By the time mine got grumpy, yawning or rubbing eyes it was too late.

Apparently 45 minutes is when you change from one type of sleep to another and the time you are most likely to wake up. Try and soothe him and tell him it is still sleep time and hopefully he will go back to sleep for another hour or so.

[anna28]

Thanks throckenholt - but as i said already ....read the books and tried all of that. She is different again this week - gr8 week last week all in all - seemed almost predictable sometimes and surprised me at others by sleeping for 2 hours on Wed pm. The best bit was the lack of crying which made the transition to sleep so much easier for her. Yesterday and today not slept from 7am until 1040am!! She is exhausted and I have done everything as last week! I have to end up feeding her at 9.30 as she is hungry again! Tried making her feed more at 7am but not happening Lets hope she will sleep for 2 hours today but dd is in the cot and not buggy so don't hold out much hope! I feel like I know her so well and spend so much time watching and listening for her signals and also checking for her natural sleep patterns but I think she likes to keep me on my toes by changing day by day. Baby Whisperer says she is a spirited baby so wish me luck!!

[bubbymum]

We toilet trained our 2 yr 8 month old 3 months ago - she was dry and clean in 2 weeks - but since then she wakes in the night screaming and is only consoled in our bed - she will not go back into her own bed - before this she was a 7pm to 7am sleeper - no problems - has anyone else had this problem? We have tried leaving a light on - making sure she wees straight before bed - now she seems to wake every night and doesnt want the potty just to be in our bed - which she has never been bothered about before - HELP !!!!!!!

[anna28]

This week has been hell Not once have I managed to repeat the success of last week puttng to sleep during the day! I have discovered today,which may or may not have anything to do with her swings, that she has put on a mammoth 1.5 ILBs in one week!! She is only just 21 weeks and now weighs over 17 ILBs! Every sleep is a struggle but she is still pretty much an angel at night so as every one keeps telling me I can't complain I am thinking about introducing solids along with bf soon and no doubt this will cause another upset although maybe, just maybe will chill her out a little??

[LeahE]

DS (11 weeks) hates napping too -- he will only nap for longer than about 10 minutes if he's in his motorised swing. As the moment I'm just going with the flow on that one but I know I have to try to get him into his cot sooner or later. At least this way he's taking the naps (although the last couple of days even that's been a bit of a struggle).

[anna28]

I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel - I can't believe I have got it so wrong!! LeahE I hope you get improvements soon because I know how tiring it is and I don't think other people understand that just because they sleep at night doesn't make them angel babies. I have just spent the last 1 hour trying to get dd off to peaceful sleep - it is like it hurts her to drop off! She is so exhausted now that she needs my constant interaction to stop her crying. My mum comes out with really helpful comments like "if she is tired she will sleep anywhere!!" Rubbish, I try all relaxing sleep cues and nothing works, if anything she gets more hyper!! Moan, moan moan - sorry but I feel a little better now

[hotmama]

I was just going to start a thread like this. However, I didn't want to seem smug when moaning about lack of daytime sleeps when there are loads of mumsnetters who would be happy just to have a restful night. Obviously, I am not alone in daytime napping problems - which makes me feel a whole lot better.

My dd is 27 weeks and has always slept at night like an angel from a week - when she slept at night in good 5 hour stretches she now sleeps 12 hours at night which is bliss - however, she just will not sleep during the day - I am lucky if she gets 1 hour in spurts.

If I put her down during the day she just cries. Yesterday she made herself really sick - which was really frightening - so I am less inclined to leave her to cry to sleep - as I am worried she will choke.

Otherwise dd is a smiley angel - perhaps she is just nosey and wants to see what's going on - she doesn't seem to need the sleep during the day - it just means I get nothing done and have to run around like a blue arsed fly at night!

I can't offer any advice but am looking at interest at what advice is given - let me know how you get on and what seems to be working.

[anna28]

I would be happier if she seemed as though she didn't need the sleep....she is really grumpy though and I can't believe what little quality of life we both have at the moment!! I know what you mean about not getting anything done, sometimes I wonder if life would be easier if I went back to work!! I have just been out walking for over an hour and she slept for about 25mins. Now she needs some more sleep but won't go down at all, she is wrecked! I just can't believe ~ I had one whole week where all the sleep cues worked and she slept in cot with so little fuss. Maybe she is just more clever than me?

[babybloos]

I have tried everything and been so patient and I have the child I read about in the books with all the wrong habits at 5 months and I can't seem to change anything. I wish I could hire GF or someone god like to sort my baby out and give her back to me when she can go to sleep during the day. She now won't even sleep in my arms so being out is a little embarassing to say the least - growls and screams all round, she is so

[hotmama]

Well, dd is actually having a little sleep - I've come to the conclusion that I am the mummy and we are going to get this cracked - will probably be a long drawn out process. DD cried a bit but I knew she was tired, so I stroked her head put on the mobile and it seems to have done the trick - hopefully it will last longer than the usual 10 mins - just had time to ram down some lunch!

At night, dd goes in her cotbed often awake and off she goes until 7.30/8ish - so why can't she sort herself out during the day?

Why is it that they will sleep happily in cars/pushchairs during the day - but nowhere else - is it just a case to persevere for a longer period?

[huskygirl]

we just had the same problem, she'd fall asleep in our arms then wake up as soon as i put her in her basket. Or if she did sleep she'd wake herself up and throw her arms everywhere! but all last week and over the weekend i swaddled her tight (but not too tight obviously!) in a blanket and she now sleeps for ages in the day, i've had to wake her on several occasions, she still has a good sleep at night, occasionally waking for a feed at 1ish some days. So now she wakes, has feed, has activity time for about an hour then as soon as she starts yawning i put her down and swaddle, only takes anout 5 minutes to get her off. She is 8 weeks though, not sure if it would work for a 16week old. hth

[babybloos]

I love the idea of swaddling and it worked for us for a while, although I read if you keep doing it as they get older the startle reflex will stay and that is meant to go?!? We use a sleeping bag for all sleeps now-- I say "all" I mean if she decides to sleep!! Hotmama well done to get her to sleep and manage to eat, was she asleep b4 you left the room? I am off to feed dd and hopefully l8r will manage another 30 mins of sleep! We are really finding the less she sleeps during the day the worse the nights are becoming

[babybloos]

Ooops my dd is 21 weeks old, starting solids next week.....bf at the mo.

[hotmama]

Well, it lasted the usual 10 mins however, I just went back up to her nursery and stroked her face, she has now been asleep for another 30 mins - been able to empty the dishwasher, do the bottles and put in a load of washing - I feel sooo productive.

Hopefully, this is the start of success (crossed fingers) hopefully she will learn just to go back to sleep and not need me do help her - absolutely no problem as night - so she knows how to do it.

Sods law that I have got a dentist appt at 2.00 so I will have to wake dd at 1.50 at the latest (assuming she is still asleep).

Let me know how you are getting on etc

[huskygirl]

oh no - i hadn't heard that about swaddling. hopefully we wont have to do it for much longer, we dont swaddle her at night as i'm too scared that she'll get too hot or wriggle the blanket over her, bit different when i can keep an eye on her in the day. we are going to try a sleeping bag but she was only 5lb 7oz and has only just reached 9lb so has been to small up to now, so we'll try that soon

[babybloos]

I would love to be able to sush back to sleep at any time but she seems to do that amazing thing where she is suddenly wide awake - even more so than would be normally (obviously overtired)and I have no chance of getting back to sleep - I try every time and she giggles and coos! Adorable but crazy! I actually think my entire day is ruined from the moment she wakes in the morning as all behaviour is overtired - I will try again tomorrow, meanwhile she has screamed herself to sleep in my arms and is now in the buggy - I wish for a 2 hour nap now, fingers crossed

[hotmama]

I did have to wake dd to go to the dentist - therefore was a good hour sleep - result. Came home and dd had lunch and then slept for about 45 mins at 3.30. DD has now gone to bed at 8.20 so we will see what tomorrow brings.

The breakthrough seems to be getting her past the 10 minute point even if she wakes up and cries - if I can get her back to sleep - then seems to be a stayer. I'll let you know how I get on - please don't her start waking up during the night!