How can I get my 14 week old ds2 to drink more at dream feed!?!

[shoneshine]

My son is almost 14weeks.He is breastfed apart from the 'dream feed' I give him before I go to bed at 10-10.30ish. Even if he hasnt had a feed since 6pm he wont take more than 3oz of formula3 and a half on the odd occasion, max!
I wouldnt mind if he slept till 3am but he sometimes wakes as soon as 1.30am for more booby and then a few hours later! Maybe I should just yawn and bear it but with a 3year old and 2yearold also Im desperate for sleep! Hes about 14lb now so should I be expecting any beta? Could let him cry but dont wana wake the whole house. At same time dont want him to keep up this habit! Any tips?? Thnks!

[LadyPenelope]

How do you do the dream feed ... for my 2, I used to actually wake them up - put lights on, let them wake up naturally etc, then when awake I would feed them with lights on. Would change them half way through and then feed with lights out. I did try the "dream feed" when they stay asleep but my 2 much preferred the sleeping and didn't feed and sleep at same time!

That feed was a breast feed for me ... if your ds is breastfed for rest of day, perhaps it's that he's objecting to and he's not taking as much because he'd rather hang out for a breastfeed later?

[Becky77]

Yep was gonna say if you want him to feed more you may have to actually wake him. My DD is just over 14 weeks and a dream feed never made a difference on her night wakings so she still gets a feed at 3am and I expect to still be doing that until at least 6 months.

Could you try skipping the dreamfeed... And only giving one boob at 1am? You may find that he goes through until 2-3am and then you're only getting up the once?

[Becky77]

Also I never wanted to risk waking my DD fully at 10pm... I never thought she'd go straight back to sleep and it would confuse her as her big chunk of sleep has always been from 6/7pm onwards.

[shoneshine]

Thankyou! I will try skipping the dreamfeed 2nite then just giving one boob at first waking. If he wakes at 10pm out of habit I`ll change him half way thru to help rouse him!!!
He woke every 2 hors last nite :/ is it too early to let him cry for bit to see if he settles or offer water?

[Becky77]

I wouldn't say it's too early... How does he get off to sleep normally? Do you put him down asleep or still awake? If you can get him to settle himself to sleep when you first put him down then he should be able to resettle himself when he wakes in the night. If you feed him to sleep normally you can try just sitting him up and winding him gently before putting him down that should wake him just enough to have to settle himself.

Others may disagree but once you know your LO can settle themselves I think it's OK to let them grizzle for around 5 minutes so that they can settle... If you keep stepping in to help them it only drags out the process and they cry for longer.

[shoneshine]

Think thats where Im going wrong, tend to jump up to feed ds every peep in the nite while Im half asleep in case he wakes the other two!Put him dwn for nap today w no dummy, he screamd 4 ten mins but when I put soft blanket near his cheek he smd comfortrf and went off.
Any idea hw long itl b till he finds thumb?He suck on fists a bit.

[Becky77]

I think their thumbs are too small right now... My LO sucks her 2 middle fingers... no doubt that'll continue until her thumb is big enough

[shoneshine]

Aw thats so cute!

[LadyPenelope]

I never let mine cry unless it was a tired cry and I knew they were fed,changed , burped etc - then I sometimes let them grizzle for a bit as they went to sleep.
For night wakings though, I think it's too young to let them cry. However, don't jump at every sound - if they aren't crying just grumbling, beginning to wake up and you know they fed well, then I'd wait and see if they settled. Fine balance though because you want to get there before they have worked themself into frenzy or woken the whole house.
I definitely found the 10.30 feed helpful - eventually, when they dropped a night feed it was the 2.30/3pm one which meant I got to sleep from about 11.30 - 6 or 7 which was bliss!

[mookickkick]

A week ago we started bottle feeding around 11pm in an effort to get more sleep for me (besides being grouchy, I nearly dropped DD from sheer exhaustion -- not good). Success has been varied. Once I slept 5 hrs straight (woo-hoo!) and other times I have had to get up because she wants a boob as well.

From reading the comments here, I'm having second thoughts about dreamfeeding. As it may be masking DD's own ability to last longer between feeds. Am interested to learn what happened when you dropped it last night, Shoneshine. BTW, we find rubbing her tummy often settles her when she makes noises and flails her arms in her sleep.

I am also waiting for the 2001-moment when she finds her thumb!

[Romy7]

my mw told me to use a cold flannel to 'stimulate' the baby into waking up a little and taking more...

[shoneshine]

Well, I went to bed at ten last nite, waiting for ds to wake. He didnt wake till 11, not great but he went from 7. Just gave him booby at 11. Then he woke at 1.30, made myself go down 2 give him v watery formula (thought itd make him take more at the next feed) he then woke at 4.30 then about 6, had boob each time then slept til 7.30. Not amazing still!!! He used to wake once, thought itd get better not worse! 14wks today. How old r ur lil ones?

[mookickkick]

Oh dear, poor you shoneshine! I know how hard it is to keep getting up. My DD is 11 wks and gets her dream feed when DH goes to bed. Last night she hated the fancy new variable flow Avent teat I got and downed some sma formula instead of my expressed milk grrrr as it had a smaller teat on it. She was complaining so much that I woke up, so not much benefit. Unsure what to do tonight but hate to give up dream feeding until I've stuck with it for 10 days.

[shoneshine]

My DH has offered to d othe dreamfeed but I knw that Id be half awake anyway lol, I also wana gona on mumsnet and eBay hehe!
Its amazing how we keep going isnt it. Itll be amazing when he does sleep thru but I reckon I`ll prob wake for the loo!
At what age have you all moved buba into their own room??? I know its recomended 6 months but Im thinking sooner, I have a cough and Im sure it disturbs ds. Also have to vacate the nursery and put our 2yr old dd in with her 3yr old bro!

[hettie]

just thought I'd offer a different perspective.... we never did the dream feeding thing. Never woke bubs up and he just built up on his natural sleep cycle. So when the began to sleep for longer (at around 3 months I think) it was at first from around 7pm. So he was waking up himself around 10 or 11 for a feed and then 2 am or 3 then he gradualy started to wake later around 1am and then 5am. Eventualy one feed was dropped so we would have from 7pm till 2am and then up for day at 6am. Then at around 5 months the middle of the night feed he dropped. Initialy it was painful for me becasue he managed to sleep a good 7 hours but from 7pm- less good for me than sleeping 7 hours from around 10.30 pm. BUT when he started to sleep it was from 7-6 and we never had to hang on for the dream feed.....

[flourybaps]

hiya, at the risk of repeating what others have said, i have tried the dream feed for one week periods (to give it a fair go) twice with my dd it really didnt work for me.

Basically all it seemed to do was make her wake even more in the night and she never really took much, even dabbed cold water on her head one night to wake her up a bit, so determined i was that she would take it!!!

anyway i gave up on it and resigned myself to enjoying the evening uninterupted and going to bed early and waking in the night until i weaned her at 6 months. Anyway for the last 5 nights she has slept through! 7 till 7 oh 12 hours sleep what bliss! i cant tell you what happened sorry i dont know, didnt do anything different, she is 15 weeks old, maybe she just ready, dont know how long it will last but im enjoying it for now!

[NotAnOtter]

i give an expressed bottle after breast feed at 11pm

ds would sleep on boob but bottle goes down better
we do wake him and change nappy half way
he now (normally) goes to 8 am from then - he is 10 weeks

i swear by it

[shoneshine]

I can def sympathise sazzles!ds2 will soon be in room nxt door to the other 2, eek! As last nite wasnt so good Im going to wake ds2 for dreamfeed, change nappy half way thru then finish feed w lites out. does anyone think dummies help them sleep thru? dd had one till 7months but she was waking me in nite, Id go in and it was still in mouth even tho she was screaming! In process of getting ds2 off it at 14wks, its another reason for them to wake isnt it? Only started using one to save my poor nipples in the early days. tho some people swear by them (dummies not nipples!)

[mookickkick]

Thanks for the different stories! Last night DH fed her the expressed milk plus formula (still hungry). I woke up then lol had to use to the loo and had to get up two more times (3:30 and 5:30). Not much better than before I started dream feeding! Plus DH is knackered because he's trying to stay up late to give me more sleep. Think I'll try one final time tonight.

[shoneshine]

How was everyones nite l nite? ds had 3oz of formula last nie at ten. Woke at 2.45am, and 4.30am then slept till 7.30. Not too bad but could be better. Got him weighed today and hes only put on 6oz in 2weeks. Paranoid that my milks not filling him now, even though its my 3rd child! He seems content and hs had a cold, refusing 2nd breast quite often in last few days. Hw are you all getn on?

[mookickkick]

Didn't dream feed for the past two nights and had to get up three times both nights. Very tired now, and DH insists we go back to it. Too tired to argue and will do it tonight.

Btw could be growth spurt complicating my life, as DD seems to be hungry more often. Then again, she latches on with gusto and then pulls off and refuses more. Even tried switching boobs with no success. The fussing is difficult to bear. Checked her temperature and it's fine, so don't know what it is.

[shoneshine]

Poor u mookickkick! Dont worry, I promise itll get easier soon. Is dd your first? I found with my first I thought when he fussed he was hungry and took me awhile to realise they fuss when tired too! Youre prob not as thick as me tho, lol.
Does your dd have a dummy? Ive just taken it off ds as he is 14wks and I thought itd be easier to wean him off it now than later BUT it was v good for helping him settle when he wanted to suckle but didnt want milk!<br /> I pop it in occasionaly in the night now but dnt mind letting him cry to sleep in t day. Im just desperate in the night tho and sleep comes above all else! Roll on weaning when hfly hell slp beta! Then they wake w wind frm solids tho. Cant win!