Sleeping during the day

[inscotland]

I have been reading threads on here that say baby should get a good chunk of sleep during the day to help with a sounder sleep at night.

How do you get your baby to sleep more during the day? DS only takes little naps of around 30 minutes twice or may be 3 times during the day.

He's fantastic at going to sleep in the evening. Can't keep his eyes open beyond 6.30 and then waking at around 11 or so for a feed.

He'll then go until 2.30 am but it goes tits up from then on. He appears to still be asleep but makes so much noise for the remainder of the night it can't be a restful sleep for him (including us. I have been awake since 3 am today because of it!).

He's 12 weeks old so way too young for any form of training. Is there anything I can do or do we just keep going? The noise during the second part of the night is unbelievable and strange because he's as quiet as a mouse during the first part of the night.

Getting very tired and grumpy and not really enjoying spending some of the say with DS which is a really hard thing for me to write. Crying now as I write that. I can't even sleep when he does because bottles need cleaned and dinner needs made!

[Becky77]

This sounds so like my DD a couple of weeks ago (now 14 weeks) particularly the early bed time and the noisey early hours!

Where does he nap during the day? Since putting my DD in a darkened room during the day her naps have improved massively and so has her night time sleep

[inscotland]

Sometimes I might not catch him quick enough and he doses off in his rocking chair in the livingroom. Other times I will put him in his moses basket but the thing is the only nap I can be sure he will take is around 9 am. Other naps are not regular. Should I start trying to make them at say 9, 12 and 3 and put him in his room to sleep and see what happens, even if he doesn't sleep?

[pudding25]

Try and make sure he is only awaje for up to 2 hrs at a time at his age. So, if he wakes up for the day at 7am, next nap will probably be somewhere between 8.30am/9am. Keep an eye on him once her has been awake for about 1.5hrs to look out for his sleepy signs. You can try putting him in a drak room in his moses basket.

What would be great is a 45min nap around 9am, 2/2.5 hrs around 12pm and then 30mins around 4/4.30pm. The lunch nap is notoriously hard to get them to do and we are still struggling with 4mth old.

Try and do a couple of naps in his basket in a dark room for a bit and maybe one in the car or pram.
At his age, he needs about 3.5 hrs of sleep during the day.

Don't know what to say about his shouting at night though! Does he seem to be asleep? If he is, just leave him and shove some ear plugs in!

[Becky77]

Yep I agree with Pudding25... Moses basket in a darkened room is the way to go. I'd make the afternoon nap the flexible one so you can get out and about it the afternoon

[mookickkick]

My DD is very noisy in her sleep between 5 and 7/8am if she gets a feed around 5. However, if she last fed around 4, it doesn't seem to happen. I have no idea why but have learned to sleep through it. Hope you find a way!

As for day sleeps, I tried the darkened room at lunch today and it didn't work. She kept cooing and grinning, even though I know she had to be tired because she skipped her morning nap (DOES ANYONE ELSE FIND SLEEP ROUTINES ARE MORE DIFFICULT TO STICK TO ON WEEKENDS?) and had been up since 7:20 with only about 30 min dozing on the boob. Wish she would learn to self-settle! DH is out with her in the pram.

[mookickkick]

PS: It's normal to feel tired and grumpy sometimes. I cannot say - hand on heart - that I love being a mother all the time. It can be frustrating to the point of making you want to scream and it helps if you accept that it can happen. For me, I find solace in other mums, which is why MN is so wonderful!

[Becky77]

When she was cooing and grinning could you have just left her and stood outside the door and seen what happened? Mine used to do that before I blacked out my windows... Is your room really dark?

I completely agree on the weekend thing. My LOs routine is far easier when it's just me and her... I think I bore her to sleep

[LadyBee]

With the waking after 30 min thing, I found that if I went back to my DS at around 15-20 mins into a nap and just sat there, ready to pounce and do shushing/patting the moment I though he was about to stir, it would get him through the transition into the next part of his sleep cycle and then he'd go on to at least 45 mins, often longer. After doing that a few times he learnt to transition himself and now rarely wakes until at least 45-50 mins are done.

Also, try not to go in as soon as you hear the baby wake, it gives them a chance to settle back and also to get used being by themselves in the cot/basket - which can be useful in the mornings

[Podster]

inscotland - you are not alone . My dd (5 months) daytime sleep is erratic to say the least and has been from the beginning. I would agree wholeheartedly with Pudding about the 2 hour thing. When I started to get more aware of the sleepy signs - yawning, fussing, rubbing eyes and generally getting a bit grumpy - I started to put dd down. She has never been one of those babies who fall asleep anywhere or just naturally nod off so I found putting her down at 12 weeks every 1.5 the way forward. Now she rarely slept longer than 45 mins despite my best efforts to get her to do more, but at least it got her into a pattern and sometimes she surprised me and did an hour. Around 13/14 weeks nighttimes went pearshaped and she started doing exactly what you describe - sleeping really well for the first part and then literally groaning and thrashing about for the second part so we would be up from about 3am, which was horrendous. It did get better though and by about 18 weeks she stopped the nighttime noises and generally does 7 - 6ish now with no funny noises.
It affected me in the way you describe, I felt like I never had a break from her because she only napped for really short times and then kept me up half the night. I was getting really stressed and frustrated because I knew she would be so much happier if she would only sleep in the daytime and I am one of those people who get really tearful if they don't get enough sleep so I was a mess to the point my dp told me I should 'see someone' {angry}.
Now she is 23 weeks and still napping for very short periods - every 2 hrs for 40 mins. I have been trying in vain to get her to do as Pudding describes, but it's not happening so I have decided to chill out, go with the flow and it WILL get better. As a write this she has been asleep for 1.5hrs, which is a record, so maybe it's about to change !
A useful book just to understand babies and sleep a bit better is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. No magic answers, but does help you to realise what your ds is doing is normal. Put him down more regularly and see how it goes. Good Luck.

[becs1973]

I am so glad I've seen this thread. My ds is 15 weeks tomorrow, his sleeping is horrendous, both day and night. Basically he absolutely will not nap during the day, I watch for all his sleepy signs and every now and then I get it right and he naps for 30-45 mins, but most of the time we battle for about 1.5 hours to get him to sleep and then he sleeps for 15 mins and wakes up grumpy. I've been getting very stressed about it as I know he would be happier if he slept, but I do everything I can to help him to sleep and it just does not happen. (swaddle, dark room etc etc). I find it impossible to talk to some of my antenatal group about it as they have good sleepers and I feel like people think I'm doing something wrong and that's why he won't sleep, but I honestly don't think I am (I hope!)

My whole life seems to revolve around getting him to sleep, and I'm so frustrated by it. Nightimes have also gone pear shaped recently, same as you all describe - fine for the first part of the night then terrible from about 2.30/3am onwards. He (and I) are knackered all the time. Anyway, having read this thread I guess I shall just try to go with the flow and not stress out about it so much. Just wanted you to know you're not alone and fingers crossed they grow out of it soon.

[inscotland]

Thank you everyone for responding. It really had made me feel much better. He did sleep yesterday. Funilly enough for 2 hours at lunchtime. He's never done that before! Was awake at 5 am this morning though. Hopefully we are going in the right direction.

[Becky77]

Awww glad he got a long nap yesterday InScotland.

[LadyBee]

Hiya, I read Healthy Sleep and made lots of notes which I posted on the April 08 Postnatal thread as we're all (well, lots of us) having sleep issues at the moment - the book is excellent, but do have a look at the post until you get the chance to read it here, I posted on Wednesday 17th.

[Becky77]

Thanks LadyBee

[inscotland]

Well he slept today at 8 for 30 minutes, 10 for 40 minutes and I tried really hard for a longer sleep at midday but it wasn't happening and he lasted 40 minutes again. Same at 2 pm.

He was so tired at 6 pm we put him straight to bed as he was screaming which he never does. That was awful and I am not sure what the knock on effect will be tonight.

Tomorrow is another day. I just wish he'd sleep. I'd love someone to put me to bed 4 times a day!

[Becky77]

Our LO sometimes does that screaming before bed and we have to put her straight down... she wont even feed... And yep would definitely do it if she'd only had that napping time. It usually doesnt make her night sleep worse but I would have to give her a dream feed to replace the bedtime feed she'd missed

[inscotland]

Thanks Becky!