NAPS - a bit random, missing stuff so she sleeps in her cot

[walkingwomb]

Hello - DD is 19 weeks and has generally been a really good night sleeper (we have had a couple of bouts of her sleeping through). When we went on holiday when she was 14 weeks this all went tits up and I have only got her back to waking up only once in the night. I have been getting her to nap in her cot during the day and have at least two long naps - generally at 9 and then later. So this seems to have helped and she is only waking up once - all good on that front.

However, her naps are really erratic still, in terms of time and length and I am starting to find the getting her in her cot thing really stressful. Sometimes she will only sleep for 30 mins at 9, sometimes not at all, today she has been asleep for over an hour! The sleep later on is impacted by how the morning goes. So I am finding myself hanging around the house waiting for her to nap or rushing home trying to keep her awake in the pushchair until i can get her in her cot. There have been quite a few cases of us missing the things that we go to during the week so she can nap.

So this is starting to get me down. so - do you wake a sleeping baby??? I really only want her to nap for an hour in the morning, but sometimes when I wake her up she is still tired looking and I appreciate it so much when she sleeps that i don't want to stop it for my convenience. HOWEVER, I am also going mad.

She can sleep in her buggy, but it is never for that long - maybe 30 mins.

I am not sure what to do - should i persevere with this cot thing or try to be more flexible and risk going back to an overtired baby???

[gagarin]

She's only 19 weeks. Being erratic is perfectly normal. She doesn't really need to "go to things during the week" but you probably do?

I'd go with putting her in her everyday cot at 9 and seeing what happens - but not fretting if she doesn't sleep.

And if you are out and she falls asleep in the buggy just let her. Don't race home in a panic and ruin a social event for yourself.

If you are really worried about routines then cancel any outings for a week and see if you can identify/establish a clear routine and then go with that one!

Good luck.

[mookickkick]

No advice to offer but looking on in interest, as my DD (11 weeks) is also an erratic napper and I'm also going mad. Wanted to go to baby singing at 10 but missed it. Currently asleep in Baby Bjorn carrier. Nearly 1hr30. Yesterday I woke her up after 1hr15 and the rest of the day was pants. Am leaving her this time.

[walkingwomb]

gagarin - it is for me to some extent. I guess i would like her to be flexible so I can do stuff but also because i think it would be good for her in the long run to sleep somewhere besides a darkened room during the day. I get a bit lonely if i don't get out and about.

she has now been asleep for 2.5 hours! I go up to see if she is in light sleep but she is always out for the count.

[gingerninja]

Having been in this situation myself I would recommend not pushing the cot thing too much because a) they get so used to sleeping in one place that they can't sleep anywhere else and b) as you're finding it's a very lonely existence.

Give yourself at least a couple of days in the week where you put your needs to mix and get out of the house first and see if she'll fall sleep in the buggy, sling, your knee etc etc. Especially now the nights are starting to draw in. I found myself going nearly insane having to be home for naps when there was hardly any day to be enjoyed during the winter months.

I really can't stress enough how much I wish I'd relaxed and just got out. It nearly tipped me over the edge as my DD was such a horrible sleeper that I was convinced that if I didn't maximise on that during the day (ie having her at home where it was warm and quiet) the nights would be awful. In reality, the nights were awful anyway and by trapping myself at home I missed out on making new friends, chatting to other new mums and having any social life.

Remember by a year old they sleep a lot less during the day and by two very little if at all so if you miss out on getting out now, there'll be less to go out for in the future IYSWIM.

[gagarin]

Lol at baby singing at 11 weeks!? Hopefully it's aimed at mums who need to learn to sing - or your dc is a genius!

IMO 11 weeks is still classed as a tiny baby(and so is 19 weeks!) and I can't help but think a chance to chill at home and develop your own sleeping pattern in a calm environment may well help to stave off sleep problems later on.

I know we all need someone to talk to - but how about inviting someone in for coffee rather than going out to a fixed session? Even a relative stranger?

The stress involved in getting out of the house for 10am with an 11 week old must be quite high for all concerned.

[gagarin]

but don't stay in all day in the hope of a sleep - try and be flexible.

If you get where you're going - great. If not go out later and let them drop off in the buggy.

[TheGabster]

Yup, DS is 7mnths and sounds frighteningly similar in eraticness of sleeps. Will also only sleep 30m in pushchair.

I am now so determined to help him get the sleep he needs that, like gagarin says, I just put him to bed and if he sleeps on, I let him. Then we go to group still, just turn up late. Maybe ask the organiser if she/he minds if you are late? Mine are fine about it and it takes all the stress out of it then.

Otherwise, on another thread some wonderful MN'er suggested just picking one or two days a week where you put outings/activities first, and the other 5 days a week you dedicated to giving your LO's sleep the priority. This is what I have decided to do.

In fact am going to go out today - woohoo!!
Dead excited (don't get out much I'm afraid!)

[TheGabster]

And second the bit mentioned earlier about them sleeping in more than one place. Did sleep training with DS to get him to sleep in the cot and when finished, he refused to sleep in pushchair! Has taken ages to get him able to do it again. Grrrrr.

[mookickkick]

gagarin - baby singing is really for mums and babies to groove to music (really just an excuse to be social for me!) but agree that 10am start is punishing.

walkingwomb - my DD has been asleep for 2 hours! i want to let her sleep as much as she likes, but my back is getting sore (she's in a baby carrier). will try to hold out a bit longer but i do wonder what the rest of the day will bring...

[gingerninja]

Just to add, my DD has always, and is still, a nightmare if woken at home. HOWEVER, if we're out and I wake her and there are interesting things happening she is a completely different child. Mookick, could you have walked to the group and woken her there? You might find it's not as painful as you imagine.

[walkingwomb]

I like the two days a week idea. I have one day where we go swimming at 10 o'clock (booked in the days when she use to only sleep half an hour in the morning) and I put her in the pram and walked around an hour before we had to be there to get her to sleep before that = which kind of worked. Then legged it home to get her in her cot for 11.30

I am into the idea of being chilled and developing out own sleeping pattern, so the two day a week thing sounds like a happy medium. Generally I would like DD to have one one hour plus sleep a day (two would be ideal) and then am happy with shorter naps around that.

[Becky77]

This thread is making me feel far less lonely and freakish... Quite a few of my friends have their entire week booked up with activities and here I'm sat fixated on my babies napping routine...

I do try to get out once or twice but I usually wait until after her long lunchtime nap and then pray she'll drop of for a short catnap while I'm out. So far it's worked out OK and if she has to go to bed early (6pm yesterday!)as a result then that's alright too.

I do wish they'd do more activities that fitted in with my baby's nap time though

[Becky77]

Also isn't the afternoon nap the first one they usually drop? So based on that I'm treating it in a more cavalier fashion!

[gingerninja]

Becky, I think it's more likely the other way around. You tend to be left with a nap after lunch (think we've had that from about a year). For a short while we had a very early lunch so she'd go to sleep at 11.30 ish for a couple of hours maybe a little more, now my DD generally has a nap at about 1pm for an hour. (she's two)