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i hate to say it but i think i am going to have to get some kind of sleep training thing going on

(17 Posts)
MerlinsBeard Wed 17-Sep-08 10:18:20

For me AND ds3.

He is 6.5 months old and ebf. He STILL feeds every 2 hours and at night i think he feeds to sleep more often than him actually being hungry IYSWIM. One of the problems is me, i just 'hook him on' and then go back to sleep but i am getting so sick and tired of the lack of good sleep.

I don't particularly want to co sleep, it hurts my back and i can't have him screaming in case he wakes the other 2 up!

Any suggestions?

MerlinsBeard Wed 17-Sep-08 10:19:14

oh, we have tried DP settling him but he(dp) either doesn't wake up (hmm) or just gets stroppy and leaves him crying and i am awake in any case

MerlinsBeard Wed 17-Sep-08 20:58:23

bump for the evening crowd

walkingwomb Fri 19-Sep-08 22:22:33

I feel very unqualified to answer - but I have just been through something similar. My four month old got to the point she was waking up every hour or half an hour hmm to feed. Like you I would just take her into bed and stuff the nip in and go to sleep. But when enough was enough I read the No Cry Sleep Solution and tried a few things with varying success.- --What worked for me was resolving to put DD back in the cot after every feed (bummer for me to have to sit up and feed her, but I had my eye on the long goal).
--Make sure she takes a big feed for her last one at night (10.30) and then not offer her a feed within three hours of that - just shush pat or rock. It was a real break through the first time I got her to settle without feeding her!
--Ignore her for a bit. This was more by accident than anything coz i was so tired, but I have found out that she will sometimes shout for 10 mins and then go to sleep!!!!!! has been wonderful

Now she wakes up at about 9.30 for a shout, is fed at 10.30, has dropped her 1.30 shouting and wakes up about 4 for a feed. I have been shortening the 4 feed and am considering trying to get her to drop it with my ignoring method (if shouting every went on I would of course feed).

The important thing for me was keepign my eye on the long term goal and beign consistent.


walkingwomb Fri 19-Sep-08 22:23:14

BTW my back has been miraculously cured since making sure she is in her cot!!!

iwantasecondone Sat 20-Sep-08 08:22:55

Oh MoM I'm there with you. Last night was the worst ever. He was up every hour, sometimes twice, and then awake babbling from 4-5. I have tried to make sure he gets enough slep during the day but we are both so overtired now it's a disaster. Teething and cold not helping. I was going to add that before this latest episode i was only giving in to feeding every three hours and soothing inbetween. It WAS working...maybe without the teeth it still would....

NellyTheElephant Sat 20-Sep-08 15:08:22

Presumably he can't be exclusively bf any more as at 6.5 months you must have started weaning? How is that going? Is he taking to solids well? I am a firm believer that once weaning is established there is not really any nutritonal need for night time feeding, (although the need for comfort etc should not be lightly dismissed). Cutting the feeds out is easier said than done though, I really feel for you.

So how do you do it...... I think you need to start by setting yourself some goals / guidelines (e.g. you won't offer a feed if it's within say 4 hrs of the last one - arbitary I know but sometimes you need to have a firm time line in your mind), instead rock / pat / cuddle / offer water etc etc. If that goes well then make a decision not to feed at all in the night (or maybe just a last feed at 10.30pm). Undoubtably you will have a period of time when your sleep is more interupted and you feel like you are up all night trying to get him to go back to sleep without feeding, but it should pay off pretty quickly once he gets the message that a feed is not forthcoming. Your DH could definitely do some of this too (invest in some ear plugs so you don't have to listen).

The only other thing I'd add is you miight find your older children are surprisingly resiliant to noise and crying. It would take a nuclear explosion to wake my DD1 in the middle of the night - crying from DD2 certainly has no effect whatsoever.

mumofmonstaaarrrs Sun 21-Sep-08 11:55:57

I am soooo sorry, this had dropped off my threads i am on and i couldn't find it!

I will go and catch up now (after another night of seeing every hour

LaTrucha Sun 21-Sep-08 12:02:07

You could have a read through this for ideas. We've all had similar problems and all adopted different approaches and have all had success - though I don't think we have any that conk out for 12 hours yet!

mumofmonstaaarrrs Sun 21-Sep-08 12:04:14

lol yes Nelly you are right! of course he is not ebf now that he is weaning hahaha!

He is taking to it really well, we are kind of doing a combination of finger foods and something that is half puree half mash! Its going ok, he prefers finger foods but thats ok. I wouldn't say that he is "there" yet as sometimes he doesn't really want anything at all food wise.

He doesn't go 4 hours between bf in the day and never has. He only has one side and i can only occasionally get him to have both, and then he goes for longer.

He settles in his cot at 7ish just fine so i know that he can settle himself. I am going to have to be strict aren't i? and if he wakes for a feed before midnight then feed him and make sure its a bloody good feed, then become v good at shush pat(which i like actually as far as methods go) and be strict about him coming into bed with me - even that didn't work last night but i think that pre af bm must taste different as he can be fussy the day before i come on

Thank you for replies, i am now armed and will start tonight being stricter <gulp>

DS2 is a light slepper so wakes at the smallest thing but he will prob get used to it

and i have never bf for this long so don't know what is "normal" !

mumofmonstaaarrrs Sun 21-Sep-08 12:05:01

x posts LT - i will go and look at that. i don't want 12 hours just 3 in a row will do me for now

LaTrucha Sun 21-Sep-08 12:07:45

Well we've ALL had at least 3 hours in a row, I think. smile

iwantasecondone Sun 21-Sep-08 19:26:36

I dont know LaTrucha...3 hours is a struggle for me at the mo!!

DrHorrible Sun 21-Sep-08 19:28:35

Is there anywhere you can go for a couple of nights. Express a couple of bottles if DP thinks there is no way on earth to settle him, and leave the house.

DH fixed DS when I wasn't there to get stressed/interfere/offer nipples.

LaTrucha Mon 22-Sep-08 10:55:04

Sorry Iwantasecondone blush

MerlinsBeard Mon 22-Sep-08 21:18:30

last night was ok actually. i KNOW tonight will be different!

He had a MASSIVE tea and settled after his 7 o clock feed fine. woke at 10:30 so i fed him and he had both sides, he woke again at 12 but was just noisy for about 2 mins, woke at 2:15 so i fed him (both sides again!)and woke at 4:30 which i KNEW was not for a feed so i did shush pat for a bit but he was starting to get in my nervesblush so i rocked him back to sleep and he slept until 5:30, had a quick slurp (even i was thirsty by then!) and went back off until 8:15

I did read that thread but its sooo long!

And i can't express Well i can but it takes well over 2 hours to get 2 ounces!! even if i have missed a feed i still can't express!

LaTrucha Tue 23-Sep-08 08:26:28

If he's on solids you could try what we've started doing which is to give DD some porridge if she wakes before midnight. In fact it was suggested that we wake her to do so, like a dream feed, but for various reasons we're not happy to do that.

She ate it really greeily the first few nights but didn't have a major impact on sleep. However, she has missed it a couple of nights, started eating much more during the day and last night - drumroll please - slept eight hours before first waking. She does have a sniffle though so she could just be knackered.

You've probably got the most part of our approaches if you've read the first bit.

Have you tried expressing at different times of the day? Sometimes I'd get tons, others none at all.

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