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Daytime sleeping - really need help and a plan.

(17 Posts)
WhyIsItRaining Tue 16-Sep-08 12:58:20

Please help, I am pulling my hair out...

My baby is generally really good. He's 4 months old.
Nights are fine and have been for ages. We put him down at 1930 and he self settles and sleeps through to the morning. Days are a different matter. He won't sleep in his cot at all. In fact the only place he will sleep is on me. I can't let this go on. I really need to be able to put him down so I can get on with things. I'm pretty good at recognising if he is tired, if I pick him up, he'll quickly go to sleep. But if I try and put him to bed, he works himself up into such a rage he can take hours to calm down.

I really need a plan and one that I can start straight away. Plus I am really scared of doing anything that will muck up nights...

Please give me some words of wisdom.

Becky77 Tue 16-Sep-08 13:07:01

Is his room darkened? I found this really made a massive difference. My DD went from only falling asleep on me to going down in her moses basket in less than 5 minutes! I sit with her in a darkened room until her eyes start drooping then I put her down... Sometimes she kicks and cries so I pick her back up and repeat, but now after doing it for just over a week she's doing it pretty much on her own

WhyIsItRaining Tue 16-Sep-08 13:12:08

Thanks for the reply. His room isn't v dark but i don't know how to make it darker as it has enormous windows. It's also noisy as we are central London. These are the only differences to night time so that might be an explanation. But if so, not sure what the solution is...

compo Tue 16-Sep-08 13:14:34

Have you got an older child?
tbh the stage when they just sleep on you lasts for so little time I'd just go with it
Video all your favourite programmes and sit down with a cuppa while he sleeps on you
Once you wean and have got him into a 3 meal a day situation you can try an after lunch nap in the cot
Tbh mine didn't sleep in the cot in the day until after 6 months

Becky77 Tue 16-Sep-08 13:17:00

Oh me too... We've had Thames Water digging up the streets all month... I've been at boiling point!!

Well it may sound trampy but I've used bin bags on my window blushes It's a huge bay window so no blinds would fit it and it's only for another couple of months until she goes into her own room... But it really works... Visual stimulation has a massive effect or at least it does on my LO

Becky77 Tue 16-Sep-08 13:17:59

Oh and they're more visual than audio at this age so the outside noise shouldn't be too much of a problem until they come into light sleep at around 45 minutes.

WhyIsItRaining Tue 16-Sep-08 13:21:50

Bin bags is a really good idea! OK might try that this pm. Thanks Becky.

Compo - I hear what you are saying but I have work I have to do during the day. I really need to be able to put him down...

Becky77 Tue 16-Sep-08 13:25:31

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you! You need to double to bin bags up to block out as much light as possible.

Ellibop Tue 16-Sep-08 13:58:25

My ds was just like yours and would not daytime nap in his bed but would at night. I thought we'd never get to the point where I could put him down and was really envious of all these mums who had time to themselves in the day. But from around 4.5months he started going back to bed for a morning nap after his milk, and gradually got better and better until now at 5.5months he usually has 3 naps a day in there. We had a slight blip when we moved to a cot a couple of weeks ago but he seems ok again now. I had to get a blackout blind (Baa Baa blind from Bump-to-3 it's ace) as he was previously in his pram carrycot which had a hood so was darker.

Good luck, just keep trying him and one day he'll surprise you! We did have a few days where he'd whinge when put in (but not properly cry) but this was usually if he was too tired, and after a few minutes would settle down. I'm still amazed and really grateful when he goes off to sleep on his own after 4 months of him only sleeping when held or pushed in his pram. Now he won't sleep on me unless exhausted and needs to be in his bed to get a proper rest.

WhyIsItRaining Tue 16-Sep-08 14:36:09

Thanks Ellibop - gives me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. How long did you leave him for each time before you were successful? Did you pick him up if he started to cry straight away?

Becky77 Tue 16-Sep-08 15:36:56

I always pick DD up (only 13 weeks) if she cries... I live her grunting for a little bit but then pick her up if I can tell she wont settle... Usually when the legs start kicking grin

Have you had any luck this afternoon WhyIsItRaining? DD is sparko now... I'm still in shock at how easy it is to get her down in her room now... We used to battle for ages to get her to sleep in her buggy, rocking it backwards and forwards for ages [roll eyes]

Ellibop Tue 16-Sep-08 17:04:37

I would leave him whingeing for about 5 minutes but if it turned into a proper cry would go in straight away. Sometimes I just settled him in his bed, but if it became clear he wasn't going to sleep I'd get him up. Sometimes he'd cry in his bed and the minute I picked him up he'd go to sleep, but wake up and cry again if I put him down, but these times gradually got less and less.

Good luck, it will gradually happen but in his own time...our nightimes have gone to pot now which I'm putting down to a combination of teething and the fact that he's just started rolling over but then gets stuck and needs to be rolled back again (several times a night!!). Just when you get one thing sorted something else crops up.

WhyIsItRaining Wed 17-Sep-08 09:24:48

Just coming back to this now. Thanks both for your messages.

So I haven't had a chance to pin up bin bags yet. But if you think bin bags sound trampy, I must win a prize. I've just put him down in his moses basket in the middle of the bathroom floor. It's the only room in the house with no windows and is dark and quiet. He went to sleep with no fuss in under ten minutes.

How much of a bad mummy does this make me and should I leave him there or transfer him now he is asleep?

Becky77 Wed 17-Sep-08 09:28:28

Awww that's OK... And at least you know what is causing the problem now. I'd just leave him rather than risk waking him half way through

pudding25 Wed 17-Sep-08 09:34:08

Let's hope you don't need a wee!!!

Becky77 Wed 17-Sep-08 09:37:50

haha oh yes! The sacrifices of motherhood!

WhyIsItRaining Wed 17-Sep-08 09:48:38

Oh b*gger... I hadn't thought of that... better not drink any tea.... grin

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