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please help - 13 month old, part co-sleeping, bf, starting to go crazy

(11 Posts)
conkertree Mon 15-Sep-08 12:27:30

me not him.

ds is 13 months old - bf overnight but no longer during the day. he can settle himself to sleep no problem at 7.30, but if he wakes overnight, he almost always needs help to go back to sleep.

for the last month or two, he has been coming into our bed when he wakes if he wont settle again with dh trying, within maybe 10 mins, and so he is in our bed by at the latest 3.30am. He can usually settle without milk until about 4am when he seems to really want/need it to settle again.

Have tried feeding him weetabix before bed incase he's hungry, and have given him water instead of milk which he takes until about 4am.

i am now pg again - due in april, and much as i dont want to stop bf before he's ready, i would also prefer him to be settled more at night before the baby arrives, so want to start now.

any tips would be gratefully received for whether i should refuse to take him into bed for a few nights and see if he stops expecting it? Do i refuse to feed him till maybe 6am cause i think i've been told that there is no physiological reason for needing milk overnight?

sorry for long post but would be very grateful for some help.

wzmo Mon 15-Sep-08 18:10:50

hello! i JUST called my lactation nurse for the same problem, so.. this is what she said, she has heard of this a lot with babies this age and she thinks it is a very clear sign of them telling you that they really need something since they are old enough to know but not old enough to be verbal about it, she does say that usually it is just a faz but that they could be having seperation issues or just need to connect with you that for them at night when they are tierd is only through nursing, but that it seems fairly clear that they really need some thing and that they are trying to tell us they need to nurse for some reason, hope fully this no sleeping stage will end soon for i feel like i am going to go crazy with no sleep!!!!!! good luck!

conkertree Mon 15-Sep-08 20:02:52

hi wzmo - thanks for the advice - i did think that if he really wanted to come in with us for a while, gthat was fair enough, but its been a couple of months now, and i dont know if its just a habit now.

I will try and feed him in his own room tonight and see if he will settle after that, but not fight it too hard if he wont.

how old is your lo?

wzmo Mon 15-Sep-08 23:29:21

she is 13 1/2 months. she is just a charm during the day, but ohhh boy at night....... wow!!! lets cross our fingers that our LO's sleep tonight. i am giving her some cold camomile tea, and then i may try some warm milk and honey with a bit of rice cereal to see if it calms her and fills her up. heres to hoping!!! let me know how it goes will you?!

wzmo Tue 16-Sep-08 00:49:42

also forgot to add CONGRATS! On excpecting a new baby. also ttc so it is very exciting to hear of others with babes the same age that are going on number 2 CONGRATS!!!!

conkertree Tue 16-Sep-08 20:45:51

thanks wzmo - last night was a bit better. dh went through to him at 1 for about half an hour, then i fed him in his room at 4.30 and he settled fine, then appeared to be up for the day at 5.30 so took him into our bed and got another hour and a half sleep so not too bad.

how was your lo?

i usually find that if he's had a good meal plus some weetabix just before bed it helps a bit but i do really dread going to bed now cause i just know it wont be more than about three hours of sleep at a time at the most.

wzmo Wed 17-Sep-08 00:09:58

oh last night was terrible!! now she is also all off on her naps too, so i relly get nothing done!!! right now she is fast asleep on my DH tried to keep her awake seeing as now its close to bed time can't seem to win. well here we go another night!! glad to hear your LO was better last night, Cheers to you!!!!!!!! thought all my planning warm milk, tea ETC..... would help. Hey its why they are just so cute if anyone else kept me up all night grumpy and fussy i would not be so keen on them, but ohhh this LO has my heart.. so... how are you feeling with this pregnancy??

conkertree Wed 17-Sep-08 13:54:56

yup i know what you mean about if it was anyone else, although sometimes when i've been up for the fifth or sixth time i do question why i had children, but usually its ok again in the morning.

pregnancy is going fine thanks - not as much ms as last time, but much more tired - although hard to distinguish which is pg tiredness, and which cause of ds not sleeping.

i sometimes end up taking ds out in the car or buggy if he hasnt slept by about 1.30 cause i know if he sleeps after about 2.30, it will be a nightmare trying to get him to settle at night.

i keep thinking that one day, he will just suddenly get it and sleep through - think that keeps me going. till people say - oh my ds did that till he was 2 shock.

wzmo Wed 17-Sep-08 17:00:44

AHHH 2 imagine?? that won't happen to us [ wink ] so at least she is taking a nap right now!!! YAHOOO thought that this was a new stage luckly not. last night was a bit better even though she sleep in bed most of the night, still we where so over tierd it didnt matter [ just makes it not so easy when TTC!] hhahaha. Hope your LO was still better last night.

conkertree Thu 18-Sep-08 11:21:07

think thats why more people have longer age gaps between children - no chance to ttc grin.

ds stretched the first wakeup to 2.30 last night which was great. woke again at 4.10 and came into bed - straight asleep but woke on the dot of 4.27 wanting milk - thats several nights in a row now of exactly the same time - think his internal body clock is too good.

off on holiday in a week or so - dread to think what that will do to the little routine we've built up - but at least we dont ahve to do much during the day.

good about the naps - hope she keeps it up.

wzmo Thu 18-Sep-08 17:05:22

oh boy i thinks our LO's are on the same schedule!! Last night was a bit better though grin YAHOOOO. it is amazing what seems great sleep wise once you've gone through no sleep!! She did sleep in her crib till 5 and awoke once at 10:45 to be rocked back to sleep which my DH does, then at 2ish to nurse and again at 5 to nurse then slept till 8:30, so all in all it was a good night seeing as she was able to sleep in her crib so we had some room in our bed! She is napping now, so we are back on track for nap thime at least! But really they seem to be contacting eachother on the oppisite sdes of the world! [well not quite oppisite] Sounds exciting going on a trip, are you staying in ahotel? or family? Have a wonderful time.

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