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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

urgent cc advice need - just put dd in bedroom to cry it out...

116 replies

mamachat · 10/09/2008 21:15

have been trying to put dd in cot for past 2hours as need to tidy up etc befotre bed, so have now decided to let her cry it out.

how often should i check on her and what should i say or do when i enter the room

OP posts:

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gagarin · 10/09/2008 21:24

how old?

Go in after 2-5mins - say night night, lie her down again, wipe her face, hand her her cuddly and leave the room.

Don't leave her for longer than 10mins unless the yells have turned to tired moaning.

If she throws up in a rage just swab her down with a towel, lie a muslin over the vomitty bit if sheet [hmm} and settle her down again

Good luck

It is not cc if you are angry and liable to screech at her. Be kind, calm and consistent.

Good luck.

ThisTooWillPass · 10/09/2008 21:26

Message withdrawn

thisisyesterday · 10/09/2008 21:29

agree with TTWP.

how old is she? maybe she is upset about something and needs you? teeth? tummy upset? could be anything.
don't leave her on her own

mamachat · 10/09/2008 21:30

she is 14months, and i have tried so many other things and none have worked...

i am not angry and trying to stay calm, i need to do this for her sake as much as ine as she keeps getting frustrated as she wants to sleep but cannot...

I went in to check on her and she had pooed, so i changed her nappy and put some of my socks on her hands as she was pulling clumps of hair out in a temper...

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 10/09/2008 21:32

she's pulling hair out and you're still leaving her?

she's trying to tell you that she needs you. will she sleep if you hold her tight and lie down with her?

mamachat · 10/09/2008 21:32

she always needs me, i bf her to sleep every night and she wakes throughout the night to bf and it is so draing for us both.

she has bags under her eyes some days as she will not sleep properly and i know i do, i have done the gentle approach so much and it is not working....

OP posts:

ThisTooWillPass · 10/09/2008 21:33

Message withdrawn

cheesesarnie · 10/09/2008 21:33

if shes pulling her hair out in temper i think leaving her to cry is completly irresponsable sorry!if shes that frustrated she needs her mum not 'made' to scream herself to sleep.

ThisTooWillPass · 10/09/2008 21:33

Message withdrawn

mamachat · 10/09/2008 21:34

i feel i have to do this i am not a mean parent but this happens most nights that i spend 2 or more hours getting her to sleep, it needs to end at some time...

OP posts:

cheesesarnie · 10/09/2008 21:34

'she always needs me' shes your daughter!ofcourse she does.it is sooo frustrating i know but surely you realise she needs her mummy!

Ewe · 10/09/2008 21:34

Have you tried PU/PD?

mamachat · 10/09/2008 21:35

but what should i do? never make her go in her pram because she gets angry and pulls her hair out, and spend hours every night getting her to sleep so that she never has to cry?

OP posts:

ThisTooWillPass · 10/09/2008 21:36

Message withdrawn

mamachat · 10/09/2008 21:37

it is hard, i can't stand her crying i love her so much but this situation has gone too far...

I have spoke to sleep professionals who say their methods are cc...

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 10/09/2008 21:38

mamachat, have you read the no cry sleep solution?

it isn't an "instant" solution like CC or CIO, but it is a much gentler approach and basically works on teaching your child to recognise sleep cues and enables them to get off to sleep by themselves.

there have been studies that show that leaving children to cry can cause them damage. I personally don't think it's ever the right thing to do, or that it's ever in a child's best interests because at the end of the day we don't know how it affects them

obviously it's totally your choice, but I would really say that if she is that upset you should be with her.

it's hard, I know

choufleur · 10/09/2008 21:38

are you on your own mamachat? or could dp go instead of you?

if he could go then she wouldn't be left on her own but you could try to get a bit of a break

mamachat · 10/09/2008 21:38

i have tried pu/pd and nothing works

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 10/09/2008 21:39

MC, the no cry sleep solution does talk about how there only seem to be 2 trains of thought with regards to sleep problems.
either let them cry, or be there 24/7. the lady who wrote it, Elizabeth Pantley, had the same problem with her son, hence researching it and writing the book.,

it works well, but you have to stick to it

ThisTooWillPass · 10/09/2008 21:39

Message withdrawn

MinkyBorage · 10/09/2008 21:40

I would really recommend this book, it has controlled crying method in it, maybe you should give up for now and try again when you've formulated a plan. I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but ti's probably going to be a little less stressful if you've thought things through and you're a little better prepared. maybe it would be worth you actually making an appointment to see a sleep specialist, (millpond clinic have them, depends where you are) as it sounds like it's going to be really hard. Good luck.

Ewe · 10/09/2008 21:41

Where is the research saying it's damaging?

I know quite a few people who have done cc and had success in a day or two, just can't imagine how much lasting damage it can do. Maybe more so on a smaller baby but on a 12mnth plus, not sure. Would be interested in the study.

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gagarin · 10/09/2008 21:42

mama - do what you need to do. Leaving her to cry is not emotional abuse. It is a way some dcs learn to go to sleep.

The hair pulling can be linked to tiredness.

You can keep going in and soothing and settling. You are not abandoning her.

You know the difference between a cry of terror or pain and a cry of rage and exhaustion. You are listening to her and you are doing your best.

Ewe · 10/09/2008 21:42

Oh and gagarin has it spot on, follow what she said in the first response, it's the nice way to cc!

emmabillie · 10/09/2008 21:45

hello mamachat. i am lying down on a bed with daughter until she falls into a deep sleep and then transferring into bed. I then bring her into the bed when she wakes up in the night, otherwise I cannot make it into work!. She is realising i am next to her and goes back to sleep within seconds, the cheek!. I am going to get a sleep trainer to come and help for 2 days but it is soooo expensive! if it works though, a good investment in my opinion. I need some of my life back. Best of luck, you have all my sympathy, xx

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