Would you expect him to play with them upstairs during the day too? Or would you bring them down for him every day? Lot's of dcs get an attack of the nerves at a certain age and cannot play upstairs alone.
Also if his toys are all upstairs and the TV is downstairs I suspect there'll be alot more of that being watched.
How about rotating them over time - half upstairs and half downstairs for a month and then swapping?
he's not at home in the day he's in full time nursery but we want to make his bedroom fun. Obviously we can go and get him toys to bring down etc but we're just thinking of having the majority upstairs so that its a nice place to be, one that he won't want to get out of in the middle of the night and appear in the morning next to DH and I!
I would just really like a night ALL night in my own bed without getting kicked or pushed to the edge and i'm desperately clutching straws and looking for an answer.
In no way an expert, but was just reading your post and had a thought (because I can appreciate the nursery problem - my sister is in the same boat).
Appreciate weekends are precious on time front, but if its possible, why don't you try to find a few 1/2 hour sessions over Sat/sunday to play with him un his room - get him thinking more of this as more of a play area and then do the toy rotation thing and see if it helps? Maybe get him to help you plan where the toys go too, choose some kind of storage stuff together and what toys go in what draw/cubby etc to get him involved/so he feels more like it is his room etc.
All of DS's toys have always all been kept in his bedroon, when he was little and we first moved house I spent some time each day playing with him in his room to get him used to it and assocaiting it with fun.
He will still, most of the time, bring toys downstairs to play with but can also spend large chunks of time playing alone in his room.
It doesn't stop him coming into my bed in the night or first thing in the morning though <sigh>