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HV at Boobs United told me to leave my 15wk old baby to cry himself to sleep!

(9 Posts)
Ebb Tue 02-Sep-08 15:47:34

hmm

I might have agreed with her before I had him but he's only little and I hate the thought of him crying and wondering why his Mummy wasn't coming to comfort him. I know I'm being a bit pfb but he would literally just scream and scream and scream if I left him. He has just started sleeping well between 10.30/11pm and 7.30/8am so not really concerned about his sleep but he won't settle in the evenings. I think he gets bad wind so you wouldn't just leave him crying would you? I agree it is best if your baby can self settle but I think the HV should have at least offered some practical advice rather than advocating sticking your fingers in your ears!

LittleMyDancing Tue 02-Sep-08 15:49:29

Lots of babies have unsettled evenings around this age - he might have wind, as you say, or be having an insecure phase, or be having a growth spurt so want to feed more often.

You're his Mummy and you know what's best, and if your instincts are telling you not to leave him, then don't. smile

rolledhedgehog Tue 02-Sep-08 16:39:39

Wow ..if he sleeps between that well between 10.30ish and 7.30ish at 15 wks I think he is doing very very well! I would just go with the flow and he will settle earlier with time.

I have three children and none would have self settled at that age if I had let them cry ...they would have got hysterical and puked probably.

LynetteScavo Tue 02-Sep-08 16:43:31

Boobs United? What is that?

Oh, and no, don't leave him to cry!

fedupandisolated Tue 02-Sep-08 16:49:34

Crap advice. I am a HV too and a Mum. I could never have left my DS crying either.

My advice would be to comfort him when he needs it. I think he has a fabulous sleep pattern (mine was 10 months before he went through the night like that).
Your DS could have wind, he might be teething, he might just be unsettled at that time of day - whatever it is he needs the comfort of his Mummy to help him through it. It's time consuming for you and takes up the evening but it won't last forever.

Comfort him, calm him down and lie him down - walk away. If he needs you again go back and repeat. I had to do this with DS (who equally used to scream himself into hysterics). It took several weeks but eventually he settled into evenings without all the screaming.

Oh - and smile at your HV and ask her if she's ever had her own kids when you next see her.

Ebb Tue 02-Sep-08 17:04:42

Boobs united is my name for the local breast feeding support group grin

Actually I quite enjoy our evenings - DS feeds or coo's away inbetween his screaming fits ( don't enjoy those! ) and DP cooks dinner. [ lazy mare enjoying her man bitch grin emoticon ]

I'm an experienced Nanny and know all the theory of getting babies to settle and sleep but have finally accepted DS hasn't read the theory! My last charge slept 7 - 7.30 by 10 wks bottle fed. All babies are different tho and mine can have all the cuddles he wants.

LynetteScavo Tue 02-Sep-08 17:07:31

My theory is that first bornsw know you have time to cuddle them, and so fuss that bit more than subsequent babies!

I'm loving "Boos United" grin

zwiggy Tue 02-Sep-08 17:10:15

no don't. my doctor said no way even at 8 months

WigWamBam Tue 02-Sep-08 17:16:13

If he is sleepung between 11 - 8am, he is almost undoubtedly self-settling - so I wouldn't worry on that score.

Babies are often unsettled in the evenings; sometimes it's helped by lots of feeding, sometimes only by lots of cuddles. Cuddling and comforting him is the right thing at this age; even the staunchest advocate of controlled crying wouldn't agree with doing it on a baby so little.

Trust your instincts. They are almost always right smile

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