Will it get better by itself? Or do I have to make it better?

[MissLiss]

DS2 is nearly 11 months. He still feeds to sleep every night and wakes 2 or 3 times a night for more milk, refusing to settle without breastfeeding. I just give him what he wants because if I don't, he gets very upset and can be awake for hours on end.

However, I'm starting to feel truly knackered. His night waking is disrupting DS1's sleep and I just have all these voices ringing in my ears saying that he really should be sleeping better by now. So far, I've ignored them, but I'm starting to feel maybe I've gone wrong somewhere.

Will his night waking stop over time? Is he ever going to sleep through? If I could see light at the end of the tunnel, I'd probably feel ok continuing, but at the moment I just feel like I've messed everything up and should have done something earlier to stop his total dependency on my boobs.

Anyone had a similar thing? I've just gone back to work so feel reluctant to do anything drastically different, but it's so hard having had no sleep for nearly a year.

We co-slept for 7 months, but I'm reluctant to go back to that having successfully (or sort of anyway) established him in his own room.

Any help greatly appreciated.

[MissLiss]

Anyone got any advice?

[chibi]

My dd was the same at nearly 11 months, but waking once or occasionally twice a night rather than 2 or 3 times.

It stopped the night before I went back to work, I have no idea why but it was glorious!I think to an extent they do it when they are ready but I think they can also be gently encouraged too.

From 8 months to 10 months she was waking up 3 times or so a night and wanting milk. I could tell that she was mostly using it to settle herself rather than really feeding iyswim so what we did was get my dp to try and settle her at least one of the times, so that she got used to not needing milk to get back to sleep.

It didn't take too long but her waking up times decreased to once or occasionally twice which was more manageable.

I hope this is helpful

[MissLiss]

Thank you Chibi, I'll talk to DH and try to make a plan like that. But DH is so grumpy with no sleep, it's almost easier to do it all myself! It's good to know that it will probably settle down - I just keep thinking it should be getting better by now.

[wearymummy]

Hi,
I think you'll get there in the end! My DS is also nearly 11 months. He's no longer breast fed, but also used to wake up for a bottle 2-3 times a night. (I was also really bad as I used to cuddle him to sleep.)I cut back the amount I was giving him, and then changed it to water, however he still continued to wake! Spoke to my HV at about 9 months and she suggested no dummy and controlled crying! Thought this was all a bit much in one go so decided on try controlled crying. He settled within 30 mins when putting him down at night, but after 2 hours in the night I did give up and cuddle him back to sleep (felt a failure) however the next night was big improvement, the the night after that he slept to 5am, which he still does now. he does go back to sleep after a bottle too, but for now I am happy with that!!

I think you have to be in right frame of mind to do something about it, and then you wonder why oh why you never did it before! For me I got so exhausted that I had to do something, and I had got myself ito really bad habits as I thought my DS1 would be woken ... even though DS2 has never woken him before!

Good luck, it will get better!