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How on earth do I get DS (2.5) to go to sleep on his own, and in less than 90 minutes?!!!

(32 Posts)
littlelapin Sat 30-Aug-08 16:09:54

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cornsilk Sat 30-Aug-08 16:12:09

I used to tell ds I would be back in a few minutes and when I checked on him 5 mins later he would often be asleep. Cos he thought I was coming back he was happy to go to sleep.

littlelapin Sat 30-Aug-08 16:17:03

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littlelapin Sat 30-Aug-08 16:18:18

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ANTagony Sat 30-Aug-08 16:23:25

Re the to narrow for gates....If you don't mind a few screw holes get a wooden gate and trim down the hinge end buy door style hinges from your local DIY store (I had to revert to this for a narrower than average archway)

The gate on the door really worked for me. He now chats away in bed and falls asleep but I can get on with dinner, the ironing etc in the knowledge hes secure and just pop my head round the door if hes too noisy.

I know this might sound really mad but I tried pushing bedtime back to 8 from 7.30 and it didn't work I just ended up exhausted. When I pulled it forward to 7 he settles better. I guess its because he's less tired so less clingy? Theres no logic in children, or one single solution to all.

Good luck

littlelapin Sat 30-Aug-08 17:57:05

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fizzbuzz Sat 30-Aug-08 19:34:54

Oh God, I've got one of these........<consoles Lapin>

She has been like this for 6 weeks, and we have gate on her room. Today at naptime she screamed until she was sick, in her refusal to go to sleep.

Gate seems to make no blardy difference at all (well she can't escape), but behaviour is still awful.

Am f****** desperate, 2 hours every sodding night, and no nap...she is vile company ATM, and so am I sad

Any advice gratefull received sad

littlelapin Sat 30-Aug-08 19:38:11

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BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 19:48:11

lapin me dear, i sympathise.

mine were all born within 2.5 yrs, so this came up 3 times with 3 different little personalities in a short space of time. ds2 was as you describe your ds.
ds2 always hated his cot, so at the time we were trying to get him to sleep in a bed in the same room as his (v 'good' at bedtime) brother, he was 15m (iirc) and ds1 was 28m.
i was dreading messing up ds1's sleep pattern... but it didnt happen thank f.

upshot of much wrangling and head banging on walls (for me, not banging his head you understand, tho that may have been pretty effective..) i DID end up sitting in the dark with them every night in order for ds2 not to play up.
every time he spoke i shushed him
every time he fidgeted i shushed him
etc (you know the drill)

this used to take up to 90 mins too and drove me bloody NUTS...

BUT, we still do it that way; me staying after lights out until they are asleep, and ds2 makes me hold his hand in order to do so... BUT it now takes 10 minutes tops. (from lights out) for all 3 (now 5, 4 and 2.5) to fall asleep and for me to be free to mn do as i wish.

SO, in conclusion, stick at it if thats what works (its theonly thing that works with ds2, he just seems to need the company) and within about a year, you'll have the time spent in the dark drastically reduced. in 2.5 yrs tops, it'll only be 10mins.

oh, with the more recently 'bedtime trained' ds3 (2y7m) when he monkeyed about i would just warn him id take him to another room to sleep so that he wasnt disturbing the others. sometimes i had to do it to show i would... but he always chooses to stay in his own bed with the others rather than monkey about on his own. and hes almost 100% perfect at going to sleep with no fuss at all now.

hth (and sorry for endless rambling)

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 19:50:31

oh, re-reading it wasnt as rambly as it sounded just coming out of my head smile

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 19:54:28

actually fizzbuzz, where are you? my about-to-leave young nanny may be interested in practicing 'sleep training' night-nannying in order to get experience so she can do it professionally. shed obv be heavily discounted as youd be something of a guinea pig...
lapin, i know youre not that far... would you be interested?

i have used night nannys before when at my wits end (my last post belies the hair pulling stressiness of all that sleep training tbh) and i think that just having someone else, someone detached, to come in fresh and break a cycle can be life saving. remember to buy earplugswink

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 19:55:31

nannies blush

the website for the people i used is here btw

crokky Sat 30-Aug-08 19:57:11

LL - I have a 2.5 year old who also won't sleep. He has no daytime nap and I spend a long time trying to settle him every night. The last couple of nights, I have kept him downstairs with me until he is VERY tired. And asking for sleep/bed. Once he is very tired, I take him upstairs and get into bed with him to help him fall asleep. I don't know how this is going to work in the long term - if he is going to end up v tired and sleep deprived? But am trying it for now. Last night he went to bed at 9pm.

fizzbuzz Sat 30-Aug-08 20:13:54

I'm in S. Yorks Smartarse, but fear dd is beyong help. We have had endless issues with her sleep, and what seems to work like a charm in a week for most seems to take a million years with us sad

I have wondered about sitting with her, but have read on some American website, that you have to sit with them longer and longer each timehmm. I did this with ds and it went on until he was 6, about 30 mins each night <sigh>

Why oh why can't they just sleep?

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 20:20:55

sad fizz - i do feel your pain. i know that hopeless feeling... keep looking. there must be a solution for you somewhere...
[now off to belated put my 3 to bed blush]

gagarin Sat 30-Aug-08 20:26:11

Shut the door if he's happy pottering?

Then he can potter and fall asleep when he's ready without coming to harm?

Janni Sat 30-Aug-08 20:32:51

Any way you can be on the PC in the vicinity of his bedroom so he knows you're there and you can 'shush' him without leaving MN?

A brilliant side effect of moving DD to the room next to the study (we live in a flat) is that I can be on here as she's falling asleep and no one minds a bit because I'm also giving her quiet reassurance. That's what I call a result!

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 20:50:30

am just now back and all 3 are asleep. including story reading. took a little longer than usual tonight, but still, thats not bad eh?
so even if you are 'weak' and 'make a rod for your own back' and 'fail' to train them to go to sleep alone, it still need not work out that badly in the end... [hopes is giving hope]

fizzbuzz Sat 30-Aug-08 20:57:54

Thanks for ray of light Smartarse.

Dd conked out quite fast ( I did not give my well daughter any medised, no I did not blush [bush])

BloodySmartarse Sat 30-Aug-08 21:03:13

fizz - try to actually relax now, instead of torturing yourself with guilt - it wont help you cope with tomorrow, only some rest will do that smile

littlelapin Sat 30-Aug-08 21:06:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fizzbuzz Sat 30-Aug-08 21:09:43

What's he like next day after his 10.00pm bedtime? Or do I need to ask?

I don't even know how much sleep dd needs anymore, she just seems tired a lot sad

crokky Sat 30-Aug-08 21:40:01

LL - I do sympathise. DS's sleep is/was so poor that whilst I was pg with DD (was vv ill all through) me and my mum (who also was recovering from op) resorted to taking DS out for a drive every night at 10pm to make him sleep (I was living with her at the time due to house move hell - DH was over 100 miles away). Now me and my mum are both better and DD is 5 months, I am trying to get into a better and proper sleep routine. Have been going 6 nights, with no naps in day. First night - sat with him til he dropped was 2am, 2nd night midnight, then 2 nights of 11pm, then 10pm then 9pm, however he is still now wide awake as is my 5 month old!! DH is usually out 6am til 10pm at least, 7 days a week (he's out now!) so my mum is helping me with them. I can only wait and see. DS has moved house twice, gone for 2 months without seeing DH and watched me puke for 9 months but I don't think it is these upheavals that bother him. He's always been happy, it's just he has never really slept apart from the day he was born!

crokky Sat 30-Aug-08 23:02:29

Have just got DS to sleep, only DD to go!!

littlelapin Sat 30-Aug-08 23:25:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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