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am at end of teather, think cintrol crying is only option..

(29 Posts)
pud1 Sat 23-Aug-08 14:27:14

dd has never been able to settle herself. my fault i know have always breastfed her to sleep. she is now 6 months and has gone from sleeping for 4 hours at a time to waking 30 mons after she is put down at 7 then screaming as soon as she is put back down after her feed, this results in me giving up and putting her in my bed. would you recomend controled crying and have you any tips

TrinityRhino Sat 23-Aug-08 14:29:43

cc is not the only option

please dont do it

TrinityRhino Sat 23-Aug-08 14:30:22

even the man himself says it is not for the under 12 months

FlightAttendent Sat 23-Aug-08 14:30:44

First thing: Stop apologising, you have done nothing wrong! Breastfeeding to sleep is ideal and very good for babies smile

I think maybe you're expecting too much tbh - she's tiny and still needs you. Perhaps she is teething, they often are at this age, and just wants you close by for comfort.

Please go easy on yourself. Mine is still in my bed at 14 months, it's nothing to worry about and makes life a lot easier...wink

TrinityRhino Sat 23-Aug-08 14:31:29

she wants in your bed, co sleep
makes feeding very easy in the nigth

FlightAttendent Sat 23-Aug-08 14:32:20

Yes Trin is right, please don't think cc is your only option - it's horrid for all concerned, I would roll with her and whatever stops her crying, just do it - babies don't know how to be manipulative, they just have 'needs' and she wants to be held or just near to her mum.

Don't fight it - enjoy it!

pud1 Sat 23-Aug-08 14:32:49

i called cry-sis last night adn was told that it is not due to teething ( although she has just cut her bottom 2) and that i need to practice cc and that they will send me info. tbh i felt really deflated after call.

FlightAttendent Sat 23-Aug-08 14:34:38

What??? shock

Bloody hell. Is that what they told you? I shall have to have words. angry

Take no notice, what a load of rubbish - I'm really cross that they told you that.

pud1 Sat 23-Aug-08 14:36:34

she basicaly said that she is at the age when she knows how to play me. i said that i did not want to leave her to cry if she was teething. was told they would send info pack and that was that, conversation over

pud1 Sat 23-Aug-08 14:37:19

oh and to put some gel on gums just incase she is teething

FlightAttendent Sat 23-Aug-08 14:40:58

Oh my. It's just shocking that someone could even say that.

Of course babies don't 'play' you. She is talking out of her arse smile

The teething gel might help, if she is in pain, that is the only thing I think the woman was vaguely right about...

It reminds me of a time I was suffering from PND and rang the samaritans...the guy asked what my baby was called, then when |I told him he laughed vigorously and made a (really funny) joke about it.

Who trains these people??!!

My advice here Pud is to listen to your very good instincts. if she wants to be near you and you are happy for that to happen, please just do it - who are they to tell you to go against that? It's your baby - you're her mother - try to remember that. Everyone else can f off. smile

mears Sat 23-Aug-08 14:43:12

I would breastfeed her to sleep if that is what she likes to be honest. I don't agree that babies need to be put down awake or they will never settle themselves. I breastfed all 4 of my babies to sleep and none of them had sleep issues. Ofcourse they had unsettled nights at times. and when that happened I took them into bed, latched them on and went back to sleep myself.

They are all grwon up now - oldest 21, youngest 14.

Guitargirl Sat 23-Aug-08 14:44:33

I would definitely go with co-sleeping as long as you feel comfortable with it. Our DD was exactly the same, I felt at times that there was no light at the end of the tunnel but I hated leaving her to cry and she would get so distressed that we only tried it a couple of times before giving in to co-sleeping. She eventually slept all night in her cot from 16 months (around the same time as she started walking and obviously using more energy). There will come a time when she sleeps happily and quietly on her own. It will get better. Probably doesn't feel like it at the moment but you and she will get there!

Even now when DD wakes early (5ish) I take her into our bed as I know she will sleep for another hour or so if she's in bed with me. I try to think of it as a positive, extra-cuddly time, there will come a time when she won't want to come anywhere near our bed!

ChukkyPig Sat 23-Aug-08 14:56:48

Pud if I was you I would look at all the various options and see what they are and what you would feel comfortable with.

Co-sleeping is the obvious solution but will only work if both you and your partner are both happy with that, and for it to last a while.

There are other things you can try which aren't so harsh as controlled crying, but still mean a bit of crying so no point in doing them if you can't bear any crying.

In that "what to expect - the first 12 months" book it gives the various options so it may be worth having a nose in the bookshop.

6 months is still very young though but I can see that if DD used to sleep more than she does now it must be frustrating.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

charchargabor Sat 23-Aug-08 14:57:21

I feel for you, as DD did this at around 6 months too, and it was awful. I didn't do cc, but fought through it with cosleeping and early nights. DD is now 13 months and is just starting to sleep through off and on. I never thought it would end, but it has got a lot better, particularly now she has started walking, as Guitargirl said.
DD still bfs to sleep for naps and at night, and I've never seen it as a problem. It's a lovely cuddly time, and they are small for such a short time. You can get through this! Can DP rock her sometimes to give you a bit of a break? My DP did this occasionally and it was a big help.
I don't agree that they can play you at this age. They become so much more aware of the world around now, and just need their mums a bit more. And they're changing and developing so fast that I think they find it hard to switch off. Hang in there. smile

CarGirl Sat 23-Aug-08 15:00:56

Put her cot next to your bed so she can co sleep next to you?

There are several other techniques to try if you don't want to co-sleep before you do CC

RidgewayLass Sat 23-Aug-08 15:07:28

Think this is a breast attachment. This happened to me at 6 months. I tried co-sleeping, but baby wanted to suckle all night. Within a few days I was suffering from very severe sleep deprivation and so was my baby - she was getting less than ten hours sleep a day, instead of the fourteen she needs at that age. The day my baby slipped and bruised her face on the kitchen floor I knew I had to sort out the sleeping before between the two of us she suffered worse injury.

I went through "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" plan, made a lot of changes to LO's room to make it darker and quieter and made a very strict routine for the day.

Only then after I had put all that in place I did controlled crying.

My LO would go off to sleep, then wake every 45 minutes. The first night I did CC she went back to sleep quickly from 8.15 until midnight. At midnight I fed her but after that she couldn't get back to sleep by herself. I would leave for 5 minutes, go and shush shush for 2 minutes, leave for 5 minutes. Shush shush for 2, leave for 5.

I was sitting sobbing on the bedroom floor. DH was lying in bed begging me to go feed her. I just kept thinking of her little bruised face - I knew I could not carry on without sleep. After 2 hours of furious crying, shouting she started hiccuping. I fed her then and she went to sleep until 4.30, had a quick feed then back to sleep til 6.30. The next morning I rang the health visitor and cried down the phone to her. She said to stick it out for another 2 nights.

Night 2 LO went to sleep herself after 20 minutes, woke up again at 4.30.

Night 3 Lo went to sleep after 5 minutes Note I was still feeding her at about midnight and at about 4am.

I recommend "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers" - she does suggest to use controlled crying but only as a very last resort on a breast attachment.

CarGirl Sat 23-Aug-08 15:10:03

Have you tried giving your little one a dummy?

FlightAttendent Sat 23-Aug-08 16:11:49

I have never heard of a breast attachment before. Where does that term come from Ridgeway lass?

TrinityRhino Sat 23-Aug-08 16:21:02

ridgewaylass

hmmm breast attachemnet
what is this shite you spout about??

hanaflower Sat 23-Aug-08 16:32:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlightAttendent Sat 23-Aug-08 16:36:40

Bloody hell I missed that bit. Surely not?

Nothing to say on that, I can't say anything polite about it

HVs have a lot to answer for.

LaTrucha Sat 23-Aug-08 17:04:52

psst pud1! Over 'ere.

A variety of mums with the same problems and a variety of solutions but all making good progress. You might like to read. Feel free to join.

p.s. My dd was HELL at this stage. Sympathy.

charchargabor Sat 23-Aug-08 17:22:43

Breast attachment? Isn't that what they're supposed to be like? I thought it was normal for them to love breasts and breastfeeding at that stage, being what keeps them alive and all. FWIW, DD's just started saying 'Aaaaah, moany,' and hugging my boob before she latches on. (I have no idea why she calls it moany, it's what she calls it. It's what she calls me too, which is quite apt. grin)

pudding25 Sat 23-Aug-08 21:28:58

You don't need to do control crying - but you also don't need to have your baby attached to your boob the whole time and never get any sleep. A baby can settle themselves at that age and earlier. I would have a look at pupd method - baby whisperer. It takes longer than controlled crying and does involve crying but you are with your baby the whole time. It just depends how much this is bothering you - but the fact you posted this suggests to me it is.
I think crysis are very wrong to not suggest any other methods to use and just assume that cc is the only way to go.

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