Beggining to HATE the nightitme routine of trying to get DD to sleep.

[DustyTV]

DD sleeps really well, 99% of the time she sleeps for at least 8 hours solid at night. She very rarely wakes in the night now.

BUT....snd this is a big but.... it can take DH and I up to 4 hours to get DD to sleep.

By 7pm she is tired and you can tell she is, she is narky because she wont just go to sleep. We give her a bottle at about 7.30-8.00pm and beigging trying to get her to go to sleep.

We do the following;
Rock her.
Sing to her.
play her a lulaby/baby motzart CD.
Walk her round and round and round the block.
Go for a drive (but we are getting rid of the car next Tuesday so we wont be able to do that any more)
We leave her to ettle herself either in her cot or in our room.
We sit next to her cot while she is tring to settle herself.
We sit outside her room while she is tring to settle herself.

I'm wondering if we could get somesort of a swing seat for a 9mo so that she an be rocked to sleep in that, but I cant find one suitable for her weight..

We don't want to leave her to CIO like SIL keeps telling us to do.

PAny advice or help would be most appreciated.

[JolieGirl]

What is her routine for the rest of the day? Also specifically do you bathe her at night time, quiet stories etc etc - a calm, consistent structured routine each time is the key if you don't already have it in place

[DustyTV]

Hi Jollie, thanks for replying.

Her daytime routine is as follows;
8.30-9.00am - wakes up.
breakfast and drink of water.
walk in pushchair
milk
10.30-11.30 ish nap
12.00-13.00 lunch
play/read book
milk
15.00-15.30 nap
milk
18.00 dinner

nightmare routine

[ephrinedaily]

Hi Jolie I think 7.30 - 8 may be a little late to try and put her to bed, especially if she's only had half an hour's sleep since 11.30? It's possible she may be overtired. If you can't get her to nap in the daytime differently, then try to put her to bed earlier in the evening.

I would try bringing dinner forward to say 5pm, do bath by 6, last milk at 6.30 and have her in bed just before 7pm. Then do the same thing every night until it works! e.g. bath bottle lullaby bed, settle into cot by herself but you stay with her and 'shhh' herthe first few nights. If you try too many things at once it will confuse and annoy her if she is overtired. HTH, I really feel for you, it sounds exhausting.

[fairy15]

yes i would say try getting her to bed earlier also. my ds is 9 months also & he is in bed by 7pm & has 2-3 naps in the day. i know from ds1 that if i did'nt get him to bed before he got too tierd then he would take ages to settle. one of my friends has twins & they fight sleep all day so they are normally in bed by 5.30pm which suits them. good luck your get there in the end

[BecauseImWorthIt]

Don't buy a seat to swing her to sleep! She has to learn to go to sleep in her own bed, on her own. It's a hard lesson to learn for some babies.

Problem is it sounds like you've tried so many things that she doesn't know how to go to sleep.

Best thing, in the long run, is to put her to bed and leave her. She will cry/grumble, and you can go in and comfort her, but don't pick her up or make a fuss over her.

It honestly won't take long for her to learn this, but you have to be consistent and stick to it.

[Habbibu]

Seconding (thirding?) bed earlier - dd is 21 months and has tea at 5-5:30, then bath 6ish - 6:30, and bed between 6:30 and 7, depending on how tired she is. We're usually back downstairs by 7 at the latest. Also agree with what ephrine says - stick with one thing - if you're going to sit with her and shh/pat, stick with it. Once that's working well and reasonably quickly, reduce what you do, so (say) don't pat, just shh, then give that a couple of days, then sit further away, etc etc, until you're shh-ing from outside the door. It takes a while, so have a book (with booklight) or radio, and the one not on bed duty that night does the cup of tea/wine/cleaning up after tea. Agree together on what you're going to do and stick with it. Good luck!

[PuppyMonkey]

Put her to bed at 7pm. Leave the room.

That's my main tip!

Get her up earlier. Change last daytime nap to earlier in the day, so she'll be waking up at more like 2pm or so.

She will probably cry when you leave her the first few times. It will be horrid. But just leave her. And within a few days, she'll be sorted, fingers crossed.

All that singing, Mozart and being taken out in a car - I wouldn't sleep either...

[TeaDr1nker]

Hi there, i really feel for you. BUT as BIWI says you really need to teach your LO how to self settle to go to sleep.

FWIW it took us 6 weeks of a consistent bedtime routine ie bath bottle story bed but it payed off, now LO self settles at night.

Decide what you are going to do and stick to it.

I also think that dinner time is to late, try bringing it to 5ish, then bottle at 7/7.30

Also do you wake LO after an hour/half an hour or do you let them take the sleep they need?

[Habbibu]

In fairness, Dusty has said she doesn't want to leave her to cry - I didn't want to either, and so that's why we decided to do what we did. The flip side is that not doing it does takes quite a lot longer.

[missblythe]

She's getting plenty of sleep, you know, just not at the right time!

I'd wake her at about 7-7.30, and do everything a little earlier, so by 6pm you are ready for bath-bottle-story-bed. After a few nights, she know whta to expect routine wise, and will know that after bath-bottle-story, it's time to snuggle down and sleep.

[fluffyanimal]

I agree with other posters: wake her earlier, ditch the mid-afternoon nap, put her to bed earlier, and don't go through all the motions of singing, Baby Mozart, walks, drives etc - sounds like bedtime is far too much fun for her to want to go to sleep!

[DustyTV]

Sorry I havn't replied sooner. Just got back in from Asda.

Thank you all so so much for all of your advice.
I do let her nap in the day for as longs as she wants to. Should I wake her earlier??

I like the idea of getting her up earlier in the morning. I will give that a go.

At night when we put her to bed and shh her what whould we do about her crawling etc? She gets up and walks/crawls around her cot whining. Should we ignore unitl she falls asleep or should we pick her up? Or lay her back down?

We would dearly love to be able to get her to go to bed between 7-8pm, the DH and I can have some time for us and to do what we want.

I really appreciate all of your advice, thank you all.

[ScaryHairy]

I don't think she should be having an afternoon nap if she won't sleep at night.
Can you get her to have a longer nap at lunchtime and get rid of the afternoon one?
Also, I would seriously avoid the rocking/singing/story/holding/walking/jiggling business. I can only imagine that if I were tired that would have me climbing the walls.
If she walks around her cot whining so what? She won't die from whining and will soon get bored, lie down and go to sleep without an audience to watch her. Go downstairs and put on the tv instead. You will still hear her if she needs you.

[DustyTV]

DD has just fallen asleep now, should I wake her?

[ScaryHairy]

I probably would.

[DustyTV]

Thanks I will do.

[cheesychips]

I would too - and agree with everyone; bring everything forward, decide on a simple bedtime routine and be consistent! The swing thing is a a BIG no-no IMHO What would happen when she outgrew it?

Good luck!

[LaTrucha]

support what has been said and also think slightly longer naps. we had avery prolonged bedtime with dd but since we had longer naps it is MUCH shorter. she also wants to go to bed earlier. positively begs us now. sleeps really poorly, but that's another story!

[missblythe]

re: the walking/crawling round the cot, is she in a sleeping bag? If not, that might make things a bit better.

Good luck tonight!

[nobodytoldme]

I would also say keep things consistent. My 10 mo was waking lots at night and I made his routine much more predictable for him:
7am wake and milk
8am breakfast
10ish nap
11ish milk and snack
12.30 lunch
2ish milk and nap
3.30 snack
5 dinner
6.30 bath, milk
COt by 7, asleep by 7.30
Of course these timings aren't set in stone, but have really helped us both. I started too to put him into bed as wide awake as I could as I was in a habit of bf him to sleep (it was too easy!). After a couple of nights of grizzling he is sleeping 12 straight hours. He just needed consistency and to learn how to self settle.
Good luck!

[angel1976]

I try not to let DS take his last nap past 5pm UNLESS he has not been napping well that day. Even then, I wouldn't let him sleep past 5:30pm otherwise there will be hell to pay at bedtime (which is usually 7pm). Just have a couple of such guidelines to help you along... At DS's age (6 months), he needs about 3 hours of nap in total to avoid a meltdown so I try to get him that in 2-3 naps and he's always been good at going to bed at the right time!

[DustyTV]

Thanks for all of the replies. I put DD to bed at 9.00pm last night and sat with her stroking herr cheek and sushing her and she fell asleep really quick and slept through as well

I do put her in a grow bag but she she is able to crawl while in her grow bag. Short of swaddling her which is not going to happen, lol.

[DustyTV]

It's just not working Is it normal for her to resist going to sleep for a while at first??

I am sat in her room sushing her right now and all she is doing is screaming at me!!!!

[BecauseImWorthIt]

You can't say it's not working until you have been consistent about it. She does have to learn that this is the way things are going to be, and this means you being consistent about the way that you deal with her at bedtime, so that she knows that this is the routine and this is what will happen every night.

I know that you are feeling distraught that she is screaming, but if you know that she is not in any pain or discomfort, and you are sitting with her to shush her, then you just have to go with it.

Honestly!

She isn't resisting, she just doesn't know that this is what bedtime is all about because you have been so inconsistent in the last few months.

[BecauseImWorthIt]

You can't say it's not working until you have been consistent about it. She does have to learn that this is the way things are going to be, and this means you being consistent about the way that you deal with her at bedtime, so that she knows that this is the routine and this is what will happen every night.

I know that you are feeling distraught that she is screaming, but if you know that she is not in any pain or discomfort, and you are sitting with her to shush her, then you just have to go with it.

Honestly!

She isn't resisting, she just doesn't know that this is what bedtime is all about because you have been so inconsistent in the last few months.