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*ANY* ideas welcome

(21 Posts)
shelleylou Mon 18-Aug-08 17:41:29

Ds is 21 months old and for the past 5 weeks or so he is refusing to go to sleep. Earliest ive managed it 9.30pm and it has been 11.30 before hes gone sleep its usually around 10.30. Hes then up between 5 and 6 every morning

He's blatently tired but still fights a nap during his day if im lucky he will have an hour at most.

Ive tried the usual singing etc ive even left his bedroom door open a little bit with the bathroom light on incase he was scared of the dark but that makes no difference.

Any ideas/suggestions would be greatly appreciated, as short of knocking him out i have none.

<DISCLAIMER will not be knocking him out>

RubySlippers Mon 18-Aug-08 17:52:52

over tired i think

babies and toddlers wind up, not down when they are over tired so take longer to settle

would try an earlier bedtime especially if he doesn't nap well

FAQ Mon 18-Aug-08 17:58:48

Ruby - I think the OP has popped off to work - but I know for that he used to go down to sleep around 7pm (as she used to get 1hr extra tidying up time before I get mine into bed at 8pm). He still used to wake up around 5-5.30am.

He's recently started refusing to go to bed just getting out of bed And certainly the week I saw of him (we went on holiday together) there was no way he was going to go to sleep anywhere close to 7pm (and he fought naps dreadfully during the day). Some nights (despite us both trying) it was 10/11pm before he finally gave in.

He didn't cry -(apart from being put back into bed for the 50th time) just kept getting out and playing (or raiding the fridge).

FAQ Mon 18-Aug-08 18:14:31

bump for OP

FAQ Mon 18-Aug-08 19:03:14

anyone have any ideas on how to get him to go to bed earlier and stay there (adn sleep?)

RubySlippers Mon 18-Aug-08 19:08:40

if there has been a holiday this can disrupt bedtime

i would almost start again with a strict bedtime routine - bath, PJs on, story and lights out by 6,30/6.45 if possible

you can do rapid return - if he gets out of bed, return him straight away (saying it is sleepy time), do this the next time but all subsequent times you return to bed with no talking/eye contact etc

it may take 100 times but soon it will become clear there is no incentive to getting out of bed

FAQ Mon 18-Aug-08 19:12:32

he was like it before we went away - holiday was just an extension of it unfortunately for her. Thankfully my DS3 made it easier for her to cope with as he refused to go to bed as well . As OP says it's been going on for 5 weeks, and it's only been a week since the holiday (though feels like a liftime away now).

RubySlippers Mon 18-Aug-08 19:23:47

was there any trigger 5 weeks ago = bad teething/illness etc?

Anything which may have started this off?

FAQ Mon 18-Aug-08 19:24:51

<<<<<<ermm will have to leave that question to OP as I'm not exactly certain the timescale of certain events>>>>>> (I just told her to post before she went to work and I would keep i t bumped to try and get as many suggestions as possible smile).

shelleylou Mon 18-Aug-08 20:06:48

the only thing that has changed is ive started a little job around that time. Hes left with my parents whom he adores but hes still giving them hassle at bedtime.

I returned to is previous routine as soon as we got back from holiday

RubySlippers Mon 18-Aug-08 20:25:06

ok - that may have been a trigger

change in routine can upset a previously good sleeper

important thing is to re-start a night time routine and stick to it rigidly and try the rapid return i think

Egg Mon 18-Aug-08 20:32:55

If my DS1 kicks off at all at bedtime we go back in once or twice and put him back in the bed without speaking and if he carries on we just close his door and refuse to go back in and he goes back in bed and falls asleep fairly quickly. He can't open his door (yet). God only knows what will happen when he can.

shelleylou Mon 18-Aug-08 20:34:43

unfortunately ds can open all the doors. His routine is the same its just my parents doing it instead of myself. He seams to settle better for them now than he does for me. Making mummy pay i think

Egg Mon 18-Aug-08 20:40:59

Tis tricky. I would not lock DS1 in his room, yet me closing the door and him being unable to operate the wobbly big doorknob is the same, in effect.

Not sure what to suggest. Have you tried the usual "no television / stories / trips to swings / whatever his fave thing is if you don't lie down and try to sleep" thing?

twofalls Mon 18-Aug-08 20:56:31

Not sure if you have the same problem but DD's bedtime was a nightmare for a few months after I moved her into a bed. But, she would want me to stay and wouldn't go to sleep unless I was with her, sometimes I would be in there an hour and half and I think my presence wound her up. Anyway, this might not help as I don't think you have the same problem but this is what I did:

Really strict bedtime routine, no TV after bath, just stories and milk, moved bedtime earlier to 6.30-6.45.

Bed time, put on a story CD or lullabies of DD's choice. Said I had to go and get the "fairy dust" to help her sleep. First time I was gone for 30 secs at the most, then sprayed her pillow with lavender water (fairy dust). They left to put it back for the other boys and girls and then returned for a bit of head stroking. I left it longer and longer each night, telling her I would be back but to listen to her story while she waited. Within a week she was asleep by the time I went back in with the "fairy dust". A combination of listening to the story and knowing I was coming back at some point really seemed to calm her. Now she says to me "go and get the fairy dust mummy" and turns over to go to sleep! And I won't put the story CD on until she is calmly in bed cuddling her bear. Any messing about and I leave the room and shut the door until she is ready to get into bed.

Not sure this will help much but thought I would share.

Good luck.

shelleylou Mon 18-Aug-08 20:57:10

ye i have, it may work better if i tell him he wont be allowd strawberries. Sounds daft i know but he loves them and its worked in the past with other things

shelleylou Mon 18-Aug-08 21:04:54

thanks for that twofalls, it may be something i can adapt to suit him.

I know its nothing to do with being in a bed as hes been in it since about march

twofalls Tue 19-Aug-08 20:13:47

shellylou - just to let you know that I suggested the CD to littlemydancingforjoy on another thread and she had proudly reported back that nap time and bed time went like a dream - thread here

shelleylou Tue 19-Aug-08 22:04:39

thanks, ive only just managed to get ds settled tonight and he went to his room and lights out at 7pm

twofalls Wed 20-Aug-08 08:31:07

poor you - we went through all that with DD - it is awful. Hope you find something that works for you. The story CD was the saviour of my sanity.

shelleylou Wed 20-Aug-08 11:00:06

ive got a nursery rhyme cd im going to put that on tonight think ill have to put it on the landing so he doesnt mess around with the cd player

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