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3 week old baby, cant settle and has to be held and cant keep dummy in mouth

(20 Posts)
glouiseb Thu 14-Aug-08 10:26:00

hi, my 3 week old cannot settle himself to sleep in his moses basket.. i hold him until he goes asleep but as soon as i put him down he wakens and so we start again until he is too knackered to stay awake... he is sucky and wants a dummy but he is unable to hold it in his mouth yet so it actually tortures him and keeps him awake... he can get a little distressed when it keeps coming out... at the moment i am holding him basically all day but next week my 3 1/2 year old daughter is coming out of nursery and i wont be able to hold him all day...i'm holding him whilst typing this now... i think he is a bit young for controlled crying... any ideas?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Thu 14-Aug-08 10:29:28

All sounds very normal to me.

Have you thought about using a sling?

ScaryHairy Thu 14-Aug-08 10:30:40

Yes, he is much too young for controlled crying.

Have you tried swaddling him?

glouiseb Thu 14-Aug-08 10:39:10

hi, thanks for replying... i do use a sling and he likes it and as he is close to me i can keep popping the dummy, so it works great but i'm worried that by doing this i will get him into a bad habit that i won't be able to break later... am i worrying too much and should i just be going with it? having read gina with my first child i worry about sleep associations

dingdong05 Thu 14-Aug-08 10:39:36

I understand it seems too much esp with dd next week, but my ds was like that too. Using swaddling and loud white noise really helped him settle.

glouiseb Thu 14-Aug-08 10:40:37

i haven't swaddled him, would it be too late? i've heard that over a month old they might not like it and he is 3 weeks now

PerkinWarbeck Thu 14-Aug-08 10:45:47

I had one like this! I'm afraid I can't offer any constructive advice, but lots of sympathy.

The only thing I can suggest is to sod the housework/chores as much as you can, and keep holding him, if that's what works.

ScaryHairy Thu 14-Aug-08 10:47:26

I wouldn't worry too much about forming habits this early. Babies change so fast what he likes today may well change in 10 days.

Some babies don't get on with dummies. My daughter spat hers out really often and then got terribly wound up which made me decide not to bother with it at all (which was easier than dealing with the screaming when it fell out).

Re Gina - there really is no "one size fits all" method of raising children. Some kids do ok on her method, others fight it all the way and it is simply not worth the effort. Trust your instincts and don't worry - he's 3 weeks old and all he really wants is cuddles, warmth and food.

ScaryHairy Thu 14-Aug-08 10:48:16

3 weeks is not too late to start swaddling. If he likes it it may well help you to put him down for a bit. Give it a try, it certainly can't hurt.

glouiseb Thu 14-Aug-08 11:04:44

i think i will try the swaddling but i'm not sure what to do about the dummy... once in his mouth he seems to really like it... maybe the swaddling will help with the dummy as his arms won't be waving about...

finallypregnant Thu 14-Aug-08 11:15:28

Swaddling helped keep DS dummy in for a while. He still spits it out sometimes and screams the place down looking for it but being swaddled means his sort of in one place and can't move much.

HolidaysQueen Thu 14-Aug-08 11:20:18

White noise helped my DS settle when he was this little. My BIL lent us a CD of womb music - essentially untuned radio fuzz! - and this would settle him maybe 50% of the time. So not perfect but big improvement on having to rock him to sleep.

Also a blanket smelling of us (sleep with it yourself first) in the moses basket helped - softer/comfier than the sheet for him to lie on and smelt like mum and dad.

By 6 weeks though he was much better at settling himself so hopefully this will pass quickly for you as well.

glouiseb Thu 14-Aug-08 11:20:50

hi, what age is he now? are you still swaddling?

SoupDragon Thu 14-Aug-08 11:26:37

Get a pouch type sling (Coorie). Ours was referred to as the Magic Sling of sleep.

sweetkitty Thu 14-Aug-08 11:29:27

I have a 4 week old who is the exact same as are a lot of babies on our post natal thread entirely normal IME

I have a Close sling which is great when she is really unsettled I have given up with dummies too she spat them out constantly.

This stage is hard but passes quickly.

glouiseb Thu 14-Aug-08 11:40:39

hi, so when you gave up the dummy was she still wanting it and sucking her fists etc? did you just rock her to sleep or use the sling and then try to set her down?

Stitchwort Thu 14-Aug-08 11:48:52

I agree with sweetkitty, it's a stage.

My 8 week old was exactly the same and is still a bit like it during the day. But the nights have become a lot easier and he is now settling in his moses basket happily.

I did try lots of things, swaddling and using a hot water bottle to warm it up beforehand (gave up on dummy for same reason) but I can't say if these helped or he just settled naturally as he got a bit older

pigleychez Thu 14-Aug-08 18:52:33

I too have a 3 week old.

She had a little stage of not settling in her moses basket but thankfully seems much happier in it now since we did a few modifications.

Try a folded blanket under the head end of the mattress. DS prefers being slightly elevated.
Also roll blankets up and place them around the sides of the basket. It helps them feel more cosy and not so lost in it.

Cant help on the dummy as we havent been using one and thankfully DD will happily sit in her rocker or lay on the playmat (Usually anyway!)

Come and Join us on the July postnatal thread..

glouiseb Thu 14-Aug-08 21:33:49

thanks everyone, i swaddled him throughout the day and he has had 3 long sleeps and is sleeping right now without a dummy and he is peaceful... how simple!!! I hope it lasts

ScaryHairy Fri 15-Aug-08 21:23:52

Lovely smile.

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