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want to stop feeding dd back to sleep at night - can anyone help?

(8 Posts)
crybabybunting Wed 13-Aug-08 14:28:31

DD is 8 months old and I have fallen into the habit of always feeding her to sleep / back to sleep if she wakes. Only exception is she will sleep in her buggy during the day if we are out and about.

I have tried controlled crying as I did with ds (successfully) but the trouble is it wakes ds up (their rooms are next to each other and he is now finally sleeping through at 22 months) and I'm not sure I can bear to go through it again.

She will take milk from a sippy cup but not a bottle and doesn't have a dummy.

I know it will get harder if I leave it too much longer. When she wakes up I bring her into the bed with me (I sleep in a single bed in her room) and I often wake up with her next to me after an hour or so and then I put her back in her cot. DH is not happy about the slide towards co-sleeping and wants me back in our room. I want this too.

She is waking at least twice in the early hours, sometimes three times. I don't think it's hunger as she is more nuzzling than really feeding.

Can anyone help?

Housemum Thu 14-Aug-08 00:37:37

Don't have any practical help, but I thought like this a week ago (DD3 is 7.5 mths) and touch wood she has started sleeping through - only woke once for a 4am feed last week, I did put her back in cot after (was co-sleeping from 4am to 7am)

Tried a couple of nights with the pick-up-put-down Baby Whisperer but it didn't work - I know she says you can be there an hour but basically she was crying herself out - not sure it was working, and it was waking DD2.

So you might be lucky soon? Just thought I'd add some support as this was on unanswered threads.

Annya Fri 15-Aug-08 04:00:19

We, too, end up giving DS some milk when he wakes in the night. He's 17 months old. It's OK if he wakes once - as he normally does - but when he's off colour or something and it's two/three times a night, I realise I have created a rod for my own back. It just never seems the right moment to tackle this, tho.

BouncingTurtle Fri 15-Aug-08 06:13:02

The NCCS does take longer than a couple of nights - it says it can take a couple of weeks!
We've had a bit of success, in that at bedtime I now rock ds to sleep rather than feed him to sleep, but he still wakes up 2-3 times a night to feed. TBH I ind if I just feed him and put him down again I get more sleep than if I try to settle him without feeding, especially if we co-sleep.
Sorry this isn't much help! But I would recommend if you are determined to night wean give NCCS ago but be prepared it won't happen overnight!

crybabybunting Fri 15-Aug-08 22:29:38

Thanks Housemum for bumping the thread. It's good to hear that your DD is now sleeping through. I've found that cc is the only thing that really works. Not sure what you mean by NCCS? If it's an alternative to controlled crying I'd like to try it, I just don't want to go straight into cc before I've tried something else.

Bouncing turtle how old is ds? I have managed a few times to cuddle dd back to sleep and I'm hoping I can move towards doing that and then maybe she will wake less if she doesn't expect a feed.

Last night she was in the bed from about 1am until 7am, really unsettled and wanting boob every couple of hours. I'm having a tough time with her, she won't let me spoon feed her at meal times, she wants to feed herself but can't really do it yet. So she's going to bed hungry.

Annya we had the same situation with ds - I was pregnant so DH took over the night shift with him when he was about 8 months, and used to give him milk. He woke at least three times anight. We ended up just letting him cry it out when he woke. I thought he would never sleep through but we moved house and I don't know why but he just started sleeping through til seven and has done for the past three months! (He is nearly two now). Maybe you should move house wink

rodformyownback Fri 15-Aug-08 23:02:50

My 7 1/2 month old is just the same - needs to bf to get to sleep unless in the pushchair. He used to fall asleep for his dad in a cloth sling but doesn't like to be in it any more. So I don't have an answer I'm afraid!
However he also refuses a spoon and until a couple of weeks ago was waking up several times a night hungry. When I gave up trying to spoon feed him I found he eventually worked harder to do it himself. He still doesn't eat huge amounts but is eating more and sleeping much better for it. We co-sleep all night but he now doesn't wake up until 4.30 or 5am for a feed - it's lovely to get a full night's sleep!
Maybe your baby will do the same when she decides to eat more?
YOu could try reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I haven't needed it so far, touch wood, but I'm told it's really useful.

glasgowgal Fri 15-Aug-08 23:35:39

I did read this book and it seemed really positive and not too harsh so hopefully it could work for you. Unfortunately I am far too soft with babies and couldn't do it (was also too knackered and gave in). I eventually managed to stop the night feeding by just hugging dd closely and rocking/singing but was much older as I am a wuss. Hope you find a solution that suits you all.

crybabybunting Sat 16-Aug-08 08:03:12

I hope you are right that she will start eating better soon. She really wants to but it just quite cack-handed, misses her mouth, or it falls back out again. But I'll keep trying to give her finger foods as I think it's the only thing she'll accept.

I tried a bit of rocking last night and she was close to settling but ended up falling asleep on the breast again in the end.

I have read Elizabeth Pantley but then lent it to a friend, maybe I should read it again. I think she has some really useful tips, and I do do the 'Pantley pull out' (!) which is where you slowly edge away from your baby so they give up on feeding and just nod off! I find it works every time.

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