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Short of killing three year old

(7 Posts)
spermandgermmummy Thu 07-Aug-08 08:48:03

does anyone have any suggestions for keeping our delightful 3 year old in her bed at night. In a year and a half she has spent max ten nights in her bed. I have done everything that super nanny, house of tiny tear aways, and all those helpful experts recommend, plus reward charts, taking away favourite toys etc to absolutely no avail. My husband and I still wake up with her in the middle of us. Neither of us knowing when she got there. It is v annoying. So any advice would be greatly received. Obviously not serious about killing her!

lilymolly Thu 07-Aug-08 11:17:15

Lock on door?

she has got into a habit now of coming into your bed. when dd moved from cot to bed she got up about 50 times a night.
we got a lock on her door- took one night of screams and tantrums, then we have never used it since.

nancy75 Thu 07-Aug-08 11:20:58

baby gate across her door instead? personally i think a lock on the door is a bit ott, at least with a gate she can still look out of her room.

lou031205 Thu 07-Aug-08 11:43:59

Are you sure you've done it all? I watched an episode with a four year old girl who had done the same. They did rapid return 411 times in the first night, 30 in the second and 6 in the third. Fourth night slept in her own bed for the first time in 3.5 years.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Thu 07-Aug-08 11:51:52

have you talked to her about why she gets up in the night? is there something she is scared off, is it too noisy to sleep, is her bed uncomfortable? once you find out why she is getting up it might be easier to stop.

my 4 y o has trouble at bedtimes usually because of scary dreams but i was sucker last night "dd1 why are you up again, please go to bed we have talked about the scary things, there are none remember"

"yes mummy but i love you and i missed you very much while i was camping with nana, i just wanted to see, i wish nana had brought me home before bedtime, now i will have to miss you untill the morning" said very sweetly while holding a teddy in one hand and rubbing her eyes with the other.

of course she slept in my bed last night. <sigh>

Volkl Thu 07-Aug-08 11:52:21

ooohh my DS does this spermandgermmummy, put him to bed, all quiet, then DH and I wake up to find him inbetween us.

DS hasnt spent a full night in his bed for over 8 months sad

ANTagony Thu 07-Aug-08 11:56:09

I second baby gate on outside of bedroom door. My 2.5yr old was the same until about three months ago. I was so exhausted with being up with him didn't even feel him getting into bed in the night. Took just three nights to get him in his own bed till 5am each day. Still in shock it was so quick after years of bad sleep.

The advantage of the gate is they can't get into bed without you properly waking up.

They feel less trapped because they can open the door and shout over the gate. Also you can offer comfort when they do wake without having to go into the room. You can cuddle over the gate, stroke their hair to reassure them and give them a kiss. Its as much a barrier to you over comforting as them exiting the room.

My three nights involved waking almost every hour night one - not much sleep and two hour long tantrums.

night two a one hour long tantrum but down from midnight till 6.

Night three very very nearly gave up (I was tired and so was he) a wopping 2 hour tantrum till i thought he'd run out of tears.

Night 4 went down a dream - I dozed most of the night in anticipation of him waking but he didn't.

A few months in his brother now shares his room and I've accepted that after 5am I can't gently encourage him back to his own bed but its so much better.

Just make sure that you're committed to what ever it is you've decided to do and try and arrange some hours in the day without kids so you can nap to be at your best to deal with the first few unsettled nights.

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