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Anybody had a bad-sleeping baby who sorted themselves out?

(16 Posts)
Tinkjon Wed 06-Aug-08 18:40:25

DS (10mo) is rubbish at sleeping - really quite pants. Wakes several times a night, screaming his head off. He relies heavily on us to help him sleep - needs feeding or rocking to sleep, or bringing into bed with us and simply will NOT go to sleep by himself. I have half-heartedly tried to sort it out, and I know all the techniques to try, but in the middle of the night I just can't deal with it and I just want to do whatever it takes to get us all back to sleep quickly.

So, my question is, and I know this is a bit of a long-shot - has anybody had a baby like this who just sorted themselves out without you having to do anything? And I mean before the age of 2, really... I keep foolishly hoping that one day he will just get it and decide to sleep through the night and be happy to go to sleep by himself. Or is that the most stupid thing anybody has ever thought?!

LaTrucha Wed 06-Aug-08 18:48:04

Some hopehere.

DD in arms so no more now!

p.s. my dd is not yet one of these miracle baby!

moocowme Wed 06-Aug-08 19:15:57

you need to work on just the getting him to sleep for the night first. then getting him to sleep after night wakings should follow.

my Ds is 10mo as well and is teething which he finds very painful. he also wakes up screaming if a tooth is about to come thru. he is getting better at sleeping now so that we just put a bit of gel on and possibly a quick drink or some calpol and he is straight back to sleep.

i do not woryy about what method to use in the night. i just do shush pat with him after his bath at about 7pm and also with his two daytime naps.

this seems to be working as his daytime naps are now very good and he can self settle with them. I think he just need to get through the teething stage and his night time sleep will improve as he wa able to sleep well before the teeth happened.

PavlovtheCat Wed 06-Aug-08 19:18:36

DD got into a routine at around 10-11 months, had a few blips along the way still does. But by 1, mostly sleeping through 8-8.

Before that, BF and awake every 2-3 hours. I loosely used the baby whisperer technique to help settle her, or rather enable her to settle on her own.

Tinkjon Wed 06-Aug-08 19:52:09

That other thread is quite hopeful, thanks for the link to that! Glad to hear that others have had some success... my HV gave me a method to try and said that she's never known it to take longer than 10 days to work but I can't seem to take more than a few mins of nighttime screaming and I lose it. Mainly because I'm worried he's going to wake his sister up, so I get really tense as soon as he starts. It's also hard 'cos I don't mind him co-sleeping but DH does.

mrsdavros Wed 06-Aug-08 19:56:07

My ds (1 year) was waking and shouting me in many times a night and getting worse. I was about to install a revolving door. He still goes to sleep with a feed or a rock, but at this end of the night is getting better by himself and with nudges. Well two nights ago I was again going in every two minutes for a couple of hours (not much of an exagerration) - and he wasn't teething (know the pain cry) or sad (ditto) or hungry (already bf'd). And I'd had enough. And I've read on here that you will only do this when you're desperate...but I think what I did is known as cc (controlled crying) which I said I'd never do, but it just felt right. So I resettled him and left him to it. Back in after 6/7 mins, resettle, repeat - and I was all ready to go to about 40 mins as this seems to be an oft mentioned time on MN for first try of this. But after 15 mins...silence and that was it until 5, feed, asleep til seven, and last night I think he slept through - it was so peaceful I can't remember if I got up once or not. So I'm not an advocate of cc exactly and I couldn't have done it for much longer or earlier than this, but I think it helped him, I really do, like letting him finish a puzzle himself rather than always intervening. And I'll still feed him or whatever if it's a proper need.

Reesie Wed 06-Aug-08 20:49:04

My lo is now 19 months old. Was a nightmare sleeper - awake 1/2- hourly for about 4 months then waking up about 4-5 times a night from then on. I tried everything, everything and was absolutely exhausted. I'd try and put her to bed in her cot but she would invariably end up with dh and myself in our bed.

In the end I thought I would stop getting stressed about it and do what my instinct told me to do, not try and force any changes but leave them evolve on their own. I started to leave her in bed with us as she would sleep better. I learned to BF on my side (half asleep). I would often nap with her in the day - she would nap for 20 mins on her own - 2 hours if we both went to bed together. As I was so exhausted - I usually went to bed with her.

She started sleeping much better at about 11 months but would still wake once or twice a night and by 14 months was sleeping through completely. At 18 months I bought her a big double bed in her own bedroom. i thought I would have a bit of a nightmare getting her to sleep there (everyone told me I would never get her out of my bed as I had spoiled her!) However, she slept there all night on her own and woke at 8am.

Over the last month I have popped into bed with her twice as she had woken up crying (although 4 teeth have come out in this month!) but she has always settled back to sleep quickly.

As for the holy grail of getting your baby to fall asleep on her own - I have never been able to achieve it. I'm not concerned though as she only takes 5 mins to settle. I just give her a drink of milk and jump into bed with her. i then say 'shhh' a few times and she's asleep. I've previously always breastfed or rocked her to sleep.

She was also an early riser - 5.30 usually - has also on occassion been earlier - eeekkk. However, the last month on her own accord she's started to sleep until 8am - bliss!!

Before I had a baby - I was always of the mindset - babies should sleep in their own, cc was ok etc etc. Now I'm much more mellow and am a happier mum with a happier toddler because of it.

There is a fab book called - 'our babies, ourselves' which is written by an anthropologist/epidemiologist and despite being full of research - it's really easy to read. I't goes through what is normal behaviour for babies and why they behave in this way. It was very enlightening and really made me think about the fact that my baby was completely normal and I hadn't done anything wrong to her hence she wouldn't sleep. It's in amazon - I've lent it to a few friends who all think it's an amazing book and chucked their very well behaved baby manuals away!

Good luck with it - it will all sort itself out in the end. Try not to get stressed and just do whatever you feel will get you and your baby more sleep!

Tinkjon Thu 07-Aug-08 07:40:12

Reesie, what a wonderful post, thank you so much. That is exactly what I wanted to hear but I thought you'd all say "sort it out now or it will never happen" My DS takes longer than 5 mins to settle - he hates going to sleep and screams and arches his back for about 20 mins before tiredness overtakes him. I have to literally pin him down whilst shushing and stroking. I do think there's an argument for doing whatever it takes to get them to sleep - maybe that way they learn that sleep isn't something to fight and be stressed about and they can relax about it.

Reesie Thu 07-Aug-08 09:02:31

Thanks Tinkjon, I would take ages to get dd to sleep before. I used to walk miles with her in the buggy or rock her/breast feed for what seemed like hours. It's just that over time as I haven't made a big deal of it any more - It's just got easier and easier for her to get to sleep.

My lo isn't the kind of baby who likes to sleep either. Shed always looks bright as button even though she's hanging!!! She's also stimulated realy easily - any little noise will have her jumping up like a miah cat!

I really think that making a big deal of things will just get you and lo more stressed (although hard to do - I used to get really stressed in the early days as I was so exhausted). Then sleep for your lo will just only be about unpleasant things - a recipe for disaster.

That day that I decided to be mellow - things did get much easier. I really do recommend that lovely book - i'll be happy to lend you mine!

Tinkjon Thu 07-Aug-08 16:44:28

Oh your DD sounds exactly like my DS!!! So kind of you to offer lending the book but no worries - I'll order it from our local library. Thanks though! I am going to try this for a bit (not so sure DH will like it but there you go - as I screamed at him the other night: "if you don't want him in the bed then you get him to sleep in his cot then!!" ) as I am really not enjoying him at all at the moment and I'd rather not be so stressed about him. I will definitely try this approach and just try and trust him for a bit.

snotbuster Thu 07-Aug-08 16:54:25

Yes - DS was awful until a week after his first birthday when he suddenly slept through an entire night, for the first time, of his own accord. I woke up in the morning in a cold-sweat, convinced that something was wrong!
I had done nothing differently except had made an appointment at the local sleep clinic, was so desperate by then that I was prepared to try whatever they suggested. Think he must have heard me booking the appointment!
He is now 2.8 BTW and sleeps as well or better than his friends who were 'trained' to get themselves back to sleep as tiny ones.

TrinityRhino Thu 07-Aug-08 17:00:51

lol I like the way that some mothers have said thigs like she didn't sleep throught at all for the first 8 months and thwey have bolded the b months as if thats such a huge problem

I dont think kids realy need to be sleeping through before then

BUT the thing that makes me laugh is that they think its a long time

try dd2 didn't sleep through until 4months after I had gecko and gecko has never slept through and is 18 months

so 3 years and 4 months and counting
at best 3 times a night, at worst 6 or more

also dd2 has night terrors so often at least once up oin the night with hewr too

sleep???? what is that I hear you speak of lol

TrinityRhino Thu 07-Aug-08 17:01:50

oh and I'm talking about the miracle thread that latrucha linked to

LaTrucha Thu 07-Aug-08 19:16:41

LOL Trinityrhino.

One thing I'm completely bemused by is: my dd had a phase of sleeping 10pm until 7pm without being even remotely sleep trained. She was fed to sleep etc. Now she is not sleeping well, suddenly all the information I get is to sleep train. If she wasn't before, it can't be so absolutely vital, can it?

mamadoc Fri 08-Aug-08 20:15:18

Coming a bit late to this one but wanted to add our little tale of hope.

DD is 16mo and has literally just last week started to sleep 7-6.30. Before that she was waking 1-3 times a night on average and worse if ill/teething etc.

I gave up bf at 15mo but still rock her to sleep (only takes 5mins). Have never done CC or any other strategy. I considered them many times but lacked the energy to even begin. The sleeping did coincide with her learning to walk- don't know if that has anything to do with it.

I recommend doing whatever it takes to get through in the meantime. For a long time I brought her into bed with us the first time she woke and bf her. I would also nap with her on days I wasn't at work. I also tried never to discuss her sleep in order to avoid unwanted helpful advice.

Tinkjon Fri 08-Aug-08 23:07:57

Mamadoc, glad to hear of another graduate from the Too Knackered To Deal With It Brigade! Walking is my next thing to hang onto - first it was the 6-week mark, then it was the 3 months mark, then it was weaning, then it was crawling...none of those helped him sleep at all but I'm foolishly hoping the same thing of walking His sister was a brilliant sleep at first, slept through from 8 weeks old but then was a nightmare from about 6 months and she screamed and screamed several times a night until she learned to walk and tired herself out. Fingers crossed for this second time around!

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