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controlled crying 2.10 any suggestions please for night waking

(20 Posts)
duvet Wed 06-Aug-08 12:57:04

I know this sounds a bit old perhaps for cc but dd2 has only been talking since 2.5 and doesnt get sticker charts i can reason with her to some degree but i dont feel she's fully getting it. She wakes every night once sometimes twice and cries very loudly til someone comes in and strokes her to sleep. she has been waking like this for nearly 6 months on and off she has one or 2 x slept thru. I have tried cc Green style about 2 months ago and altho she didnt settle herself back to sleep she didnt stop the crying out and after a few days with slight improvement she reverted back despite our consistency for 2 weeks I gave up and we went back to settling by whatever means but this can take up to half hour. It has now got worse in that she takes ages to settle sometimes and also wakes at 6am and consequently quite miserable in the day

She is in big bed (and stays in it fairplay),
has night light,
have tried sticker chart praise etc (doesnt get it),
putting to bed early asleep by 6.30 sometimes
dh helps out too.
I've just been holding on to the hope that with time it would improve but by now I am just exhausted and getting tearful easily I dont know how long I can carry on waiting for it to improve. Anyone anything???

duvet Wed 06-Aug-08 13:12:52

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Neeerly3 Wed 06-Aug-08 13:15:26

does she wake up distressed, or is she just waking and shouting out to get your attention?

gingerninja Wed 06-Aug-08 13:27:25

How is she falling to sleep duvet? My DD almost 2 would wake lots in the night crying for me because I would lay with her to get to sleep and when I wasn't there when she woke she'd kick off.

I had to resort to a more strict approach a few days ago because I'm preg with number two and shattered so, I told her what was going to happen. Gave her the normal bedtime routine but instead of laying with her left the room. She cried and got out of bed following me to the door and every time she did this, I'd gently pick her up, kiss her, say night night, lay her down, stroke her head and leave again and repeat. I only had to do this three times. then she got the message not to get out of bed. We have done this for four nights and her sleep has been a lot lot better already.

I've always been against doing CC with DD but I did have to do something as it was taking longer and longer to settle her and I was being woken every couple of hours in the night still. I think at 2 they have a sense of bedtime and routine and whilst I don't think they really get negotiation they do quickly understand a change. I did explain it to her and praise her in the morning and she knew I was sitting in the door way and I'd be whispering shushhh on the other side. She's old enough to know that I've left the room but I'm still in the house (unlike babies which is why I would have never done it before)

If that's not for you then, perhaps a gradual retreat thing where you sit further and further away until you move out of the door.

duvet Wed 06-Aug-08 13:31:50

She wakes up crying not shouting, she just cries loudly! Yeah I have to confess that sometimes I have stroked her off to sleep in the evening in the past which may not help but it's hard not to sometimes when she is soo tired if I do she's asleep in 5 mins compared to an hour or more of talking and fiddling stays lying down.

Neeerly3 Wed 06-Aug-08 13:36:06

she could be experiencing night terrors and wakes up upset. In which case its just time that will fix it, not CC. Try asking her what the matter is....my DT's wake occasionally during the night, but come in to us and stand by the bed softly saying mummy until I wake up. If i ask wots up they say it was a bad dream, we cuddle for 5 mins then they trot off to bed and fall asleep alone.

If she can verbalise wots up, you may be able to talk about it better and put her worries to rest.

gingerninja Wed 06-Aug-08 13:37:32

I think they're also dreaming quite a bit at this age though which could explain some night screaming fits. When I was co-sleeping with DD she'd say some really random things when she first woke up about events that had happened days and days ago so I really think that occasionally it might be a dream.

It's very hard when you just don't really know and although I've taken this tough approach, which is hard, I'm unsure about how flexible to be at times.

duvet Wed 06-Aug-08 13:42:08

I ask her what's wrong when I go in but as soon as i go near her she goes back to sleep as soon as I leave again she cries.

duvet Wed 06-Aug-08 13:44:56

She's not really mature enough to say about dreams. With dd1 at this she was waking and I could give her a cuddle and reassure her and leave we had a brief spell of it being a habit did asticker chart and she understood and complied problem sorted. DD2 jsut doesnt get it she's very different stage wise.

duvet Wed 06-Aug-08 13:45:26

dd1 at this age - should read

duvet Wed 06-Aug-08 15:41:54

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duvet Wed 06-Aug-08 19:14:21

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duvet Wed 06-Aug-08 21:01:19

.

frumpygrumpy Wed 06-Aug-08 21:06:21

I'm going to link you in to a sleep book I love. It has all sorts of things to think about.

(1) does she nap in the day?

(2) my first thought is habit. She is learning that when she comes round she needs to have company and a back stroke to fall asleep again. The best way of breaking it is consistency. Handle the wake up the same each and every time. "Night time is for sleeping, you've got teddy, night night, see you in the morning" over and over and over again. Or whatever words/method you choose.

Two of my 3 children are poor sleepers. I have to 'reset' the good habit after every bout of illness too.

Let me see if I can link the book.......

frumpygrumpy Wed 06-Aug-08 21:07:07

I like this

frumpygrumpy Wed 06-Aug-08 21:10:10

You can't stop the chosen method after a couple of weeks. You have to pick the way of saying goodnight that suits you best and stick to it. Always. Tea, bath, story, cuddle, nightnight, love you, light out with glow light if dark is an issue and then leave. over and over and over and over and always.

frumpygrumpy Wed 06-Aug-08 21:10:38

PMSL, my DT2 just appeared!!!!!!! grin

frumpygrumpy Wed 06-Aug-08 21:10:51

Yeah, and I give good advice grin

duvet Thu 07-Aug-08 09:56:55

Haha - ironic eh ironic too that my dd2 unusually slept thru last night and went to sleep very quick by herself too!! Thanks Frumpgrumpy and everyone else.

sweatyferretsunited Thu 07-Aug-08 23:45:38

great news, long may it continue x.

(its me fg, I just changed my name for a laugh on another thread)

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