How do I get 9mo to go to sleep in cot rather than hours of rocking and singing?! I'm going mad!

[missbumpy]

DD has always needed either breastfeeding or lots of rocking and singing to get to sleep. Until recently I didn't think it was a problem as she was in quite a good routine and after a breastfeed and 10 mins rocking she was off. Recently it's all been a bit harder and she'll sometimes take an hour and then another breastfeed and a whole lot of crying before I can get her to sleep. It's really exhausting.
When I put her in her cot awake she just grins and starts standing up (her new trick!). Being in the cot seems to wake her up and get her excited.
I don't think I could bear doing controlled crying but I'm starting to contemplate it because I'm so exhausted.
Is there anything else I can do?
BTW, her dad can't get her to sleep at all...it has to be me!

[ten10]

I did controlled crying,

my routine is once he has had a bath and is dressed for bed, he has a drink and then a story, I then put on a particular piece of music which I know calms him and then put him into bed say night night and go out of the room and leave the door ajar.

But it took quite a while to get to this,
I did the above routine but with rocking to the music until he was really sleepy (or asleep at first) then put him down. and because he sleeps on his front I would pat/stroke his back for a few minutes
Ever night i would then reduce the time I rocked him for and make sure that he was still awake when i put him into the cot. and then also reduce the time I patted his back

If he stood up I would say (forcefully) 'lie down' and lie him down.

Then I would set the music going again from the beginning and I would not return to the room until the piece of music had finished, then I would go in and do the routine again.
Until he went off to sleep
( the music was between 5 and 10 mins long)

I was jolly hard work to begin with and feels like a minute lasts forever,
but he goes to bed now without any fuss and doesn't require rocking at all. in fact when i turn the music on he reaches out to the cot

I know that this is not necessarily the exact technique for controlled crying but it worked for us.

[missbumpy]

Did he cry lots? How old was he when you started doing this? And how long did it take to work?
As soon as I put her in the cot on her front she gets onto her knees and starts pulling herself up to standing.

[ten10]

He did cry lots, one night it was nearly one and half hours but this was the worst.
He was also about 9months when I started doing this and it had to be me who put him down, he would get hysterical if it was his dad.

Can't really remember how long it took as it was a gradual process, but definately wasn't more than a month, probably a couple of weeks
Doing proper controlled crying would probably have been quicker but I preffered to do it my way

He used to stand up alot in the cot too, but I would just say goodnight and walk out. then i would go downstairs so that his crying wasn't too awful to listen to. after 5-10 minutes i would go back in (if he was still screaming)

But after a while it became a short scream followed by a bit of whimpering.
Then he stopped doing the screaming and just whimpered a bit
and then he just seemed happy to go to bed, and will let anyone put him to bed now.

[missbumpy]

Other problem is we live in a tiny flat and we're currently sharing a small room with DD out of necessity. Going downstairs out of earshot isn't an option! We (and the neighbours) would have to listen to her screaming hysterically and I'm not sure any of us could take it!

[ten10]

Don't worry about your neighbours, I was worried about ours (terraced house) and they said they almost never heard him. I think that our own babies seem much louder to us than to anyone else.

If you really can't deal with the controlled crying have you heard about the no cry sleep solution
www.amazon.co.uk/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Through-Pantley/dp/0071381392?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

you could try this

[PhDlifeNeedsaNewLife]

wow missbumpy, your post is so much like my situation you would not believe it!

only diff is, my ds is 15m and getting off bed instead of just standing up .

[IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast]

I so, so sympathise, we had this (for less time than you) and it nearly broke me.

DO read the NCSS.

Do believe she will randomly and inexplicably just decide to do the cot thing - it can happen!

Do keep trying - we persevered and one day I just had a feeling DS was ready to go down in his cot by himself and he did.

Have you tried patting? I could never dump DS in the cot and then pat him to sleep but I used to pat his bum as he fed to sleep or pat him as we rocked him to sleep and then slowly over several weeks I started to put him into the cot while sleepy but not asleep and pat him through until he went to sleep. He'd just got used to the patting being a sleep signal I think. Nowadays (he's 1) I still pat him sometimes (if he's teething or uncomfy in some way) but often I can put him in the cot and sit with him until he doses off, just a few "sssshs".

All the best

[IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast]

*doze

[missbumpy]

I did read the no cry sleep solution and it was good but it didn't offer me any solutions if you know what I mean! It just seemed to be a lot about getting a good routine etc which I think we've already got. I might have another look at it though. Patting sounds like a good idea. I tend to rub DD's back but I could give patting a go.