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Which Baby Whisperer book would you recommend?

(19 Posts)
TheGabster Mon 28-Jul-08 19:53:50

All votes welcome - having problems with sleep mainly at the moment but who knows what the future brings so all feedback welcome!

Ta

G

Seona1973 Mon 28-Jul-08 20:09:54

rather than buying a book, why not visit the website instead:

Babywhisperer website

chunkypudding Mon 28-Jul-08 20:56:36

i wouldn't cos she just stresses me out and makes me feel rubbish...

and she says lots of 'quaint' english yorkshirey type things to appeal to an american audience which for some reason really winds me up!

however i believe that lots of rational clear thinking people with some willpower (ie def not me) have found her really helpful.

i have 'secrets of the baby whisperer... how to calm, connect and communicate with your baby'

i am crap at routine and ds is willful. we have decided that books don't help just make me want to yell at him for refusing to go along with my plans.

think it may be a little easier to work with if you ff?

sorry not much help, but hey its still feedback!!

nik76 Tue 29-Jul-08 08:13:04

I used the same one as above and found it quite useful - although it means a rountine it certainly not a contented baby one! more of a guide.

How old is your LO as this one is really for from birth don't think its worth buying4 months plus imo.

fishie Tue 29-Jul-08 08:17:43

none of them. i did try quite hard but it was not realistic for a baby who needed to feed little and often. and the bit about treating onself as if a yorkshire dairy cow put me right off.

the no cry sleep solution was a bit better, but really your own patience and common sense is the best smile

MegBusset Tue 29-Jul-08 08:24:38

None of them, she drove me up the wall and made me feel like I was a failure. The best thing I did with my copy was put it in the bin

The NCSS is much better.

TheGabster Tue 29-Jul-08 08:36:31

My DS is nearly 6 months so it looks like whisperer may not be the right one then.

Its annoying really because his night sleep isn't that bad - he wakes frequently but does self settle mostly in the night and does 11 to 12 hours in total (we've just dropped the dream feed). But his day sleep is pants. Very hit and miss. Which of course affects the night-time when it is REALLY bad.

I had been working to a routine, I admit it was CLB blush although adapted a bit to suit my LO. But he is FF (complicated story) and so a routine is a God-send in helping me be prepared and ready with feeds - especially when he was tiny.

I really have a problem telling the difference between when he is hungry and tired too - all his cries sound the same to me.

So it sounds like NCSS is the one to buy then? Any other input?

blueshoes Tue 29-Jul-08 09:00:30

None. It did not suit all babies and did not suit either of mine. If it does not work, she will make you feel like an 'accidental parent', rather than a caring and responsive one.

The website is a good place to try out her theories without shelling out.

TheGabster Tue 29-Jul-08 09:01:01

Should probably add the main reason for action is that both DH and I are really fed up with listening to him cry himself to sleep all the time. Seems to be getting worse not better. sad

G

blueshoes Tue 29-Jul-08 09:05:46

Hi Gabster, sorry you are having problems with sleep. If your ds' night sleep is largely ok but it is just daytime naps you are concerned about, how about taking your ds out for a walk around naptimes. Does your ds fall asleep in the buggy?

CLB will damn you as would the babywhisperer for doing that. But actually, it is so simple and nice to get out anyway, hth.

chunkypudding Tue 29-Jul-08 11:27:39

i was rereading the blasted thing in the hope it would help me with ds's sleep/naps but it just made me cry as i just can't get ds to respond in the way she says he will! don't think i am tough enough, or he's too tough, or something...

here is a sample quote which i read, through tears of frustration and guilt this morning:

"you need to understand whats going on here and take responsibility for the bad habits you fostered. then the hard part:have the conviction and perseverance to help your baby learn a new and better way"

well thanks tracy. thanks a lot. i am putting your bloody book and its side order of guilt in the bin now.

chunkypudding Tue 29-Jul-08 11:34:01

ps gabster - ds bit older than yours, was 6 months on the 16th. won't nap in cot, only in pram when rocked. currently wakes on an average night after bed 7.30-8ish at 11, 1, 3, 5, 6, 7...

also takes up to 2 hours to settle him.

had a time when he'd go 5 hrs plus but colds, teething,learning to crawl, having a soft touch for a mother and probably some other stuff too seem to have messed all that up.

it really is exhausting innit? i hate leaving my lo to cry as he works himself to hysteria very quickly... so i don't but i'm really never sure if i'm doing the right thing or not!!!!

hope things get better for you and if you find any amazing solutions pleeeease let me know!

xx cp

chunkypudding Tue 29-Jul-08 11:35:10

2 hours to settle when first goes to bed, not at every waking. that really would be hell grin

TheGabster Tue 29-Jul-08 11:57:52

Hey chunky - really feel for you sad.

And dont you dare put yourself down like that. From recent experience, there are always plenty of people around that will put you down on the mothering skills if you let them - dont make their job so easy!! If the book upsets you then you really should bin it. Somewhere out there is the solution to your problems, it might just be that it isn't in a book.

I used to do the pushchair thing, but have a dodgy back AND had ds by CS so found it was running me ragged and aggravating EVERYTHING - long story short it had to stop.

Also found he would only ever sleep for max 45 minutes at a time. Sound familiar?

So we went cold turkey a few weekends ago and promised ourselves we would make sure he was clean/burped/fed and see how he was after 15 mins crying.

He stopped and went to sleep after 9 minutes! He certainly gets back to sleep quickly in the night now too - although has similar wake-up times to your lo. Wonder why that is?

During the day he has cried for only 3 minutes before nodding off, which was great, but I am pants at reading the signs right and often get my timing wrong and so he cries and cries - I am really distraut (and can't spell) listening to him cry. I am not too much of a soft touch I know - we have managed to get him off the dummy which I am really proud of, but I just can't stand listening to him cry - especially during the day when hubby is at work and I am here on my own (I live in Germany and all the family are in the UK).

But this NCSS book sounds good - the reviews on Amazon are encouraging. I think I might plump for it. Do you want me to let you know what it is like?

nik76 Wed 30-Jul-08 07:12:49

BW advice really helped me to understand what lo was trying to tell me as it is my first and i was never sure what she was asking for. HAd advice re the type of cry and what it means plus what they are doing with part of their body and what it means. The routine stuff was quite lose, certainly not like contented baby!

Bascially working in three hour slots of feed. 'play', sleep and you time.

There is a log which I found and still do sometimes to help you see patterns and what lo might want.

I defo found it good to help decode lo.

Just had a look on ebay and you should be able to get one for £5-6.

remember not everything suits everyone - I'm glad I read it and have passed some advice onto another mum and it had helped her.

nik76 Wed 30-Jul-08 07:13:09

PS the £5-6 includes P&P

TheGabster Wed 30-Jul-08 08:38:01

Thanks for the feedback Nik - but which book was it?

Ta

G

pudding25 Wed 30-Jul-08 09:09:12

Can I ask why you got rid of the dummy? My dd is 11 wks old and the dummy is amazing for calming her and getting her to sleep easily. I wasnt intending on getting rid of it until she was much older.
I am loosely following CLB and find it great. TO help with sleep cues, can you try working out how long a baby that age can stay awake for, e.g no longer than 2 hours, keep an eye on the time from when he last woke and the minute he yawns towards the end of that 2 hour period, put him into his bed? I don't know if that will be of any use and whether he will scream anyway but it is worth a try.
I did not like BW. Like the others said, I hated the language she used.
Best thing we found was the dummy and making sure she was in bed as soon as she yawned and did one grizzle withina certain time from when she last woke.

TheGabster Wed 30-Jul-08 21:27:12

Hi Pudding.

Thanks for the feedback.

Yes of course you can ask, but you may not like the answer!

Like I said before, we had a few "bad sleep associations" as Gena would put it, which was not such a problem until suddenly they all stopped working!!! We were having a nightmare settling him during the day, and it was starting to creep into the evening bed-time too. So we did a bit of sleep training and made some new routines and got rid of all the dummies, naps in the pushchair (for a few days anyway) and all that stuff. Straight away his day sleep were calmer and longer and night times were better. Trouble is - the crying!! I hate it sad

Re: the dummies in particular, TBH, some people believe (and I am one of them) that excessive sucking in the later part of a child's first year can supress physiological development of the throat and tongue ready for speech. I know saying this probably does not make me popular - some friends today told me off for being too strict and denying DS comfort. But you have to be the best parent you can, which means doing what you feel to be right and I really feel this one is important.

Now his desire to suck is lessening with the introduction of solids I want to loose the dummy before he becomes so dependent on it that it becomes a real issue/big change later. I still use it to calm him if I really need to, just not for sleep/all the time.

Re: the sleep cues. OOoooh, I know how long he can go and what the cues are all right. Trouble is I when he tires early, I always seem to be distracted by something (e.g. phone, dog throwing up/attacking an innocent walker-by, caller at the door) and don't notice until its too late!!! D'oh. blush

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