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calling experienced mums

(14 Posts)
trishpops Sun 20-Jul-08 22:21:34

advice needed on "bedtime"
my first baby is nearly 10wks, and has been sleeping really well from 10pm till at least 5am for weeks now. she feeds when she wakes up at 5 and is straight back off to sleep. the problem is i can't seem to get her off to sleep before 10pm. the routine we used to have was bath at half8, big breastfeed and cuddle till she fell asleep at about 10pm. she never used to wake or cry with this that i'm feeling better, i brought her bath time forward to 7pm, but although she still falls asleep on my breast, as soon as i put her in her basket she wakes, and no matter how many times we rock her back to sleep she wakes every time until 10pm when it's like magic, she falls into a deep sleep.
this would be fine but i'm getting anxious that she will be very difficult to ease out of this pattern as she gets older. what should i do? go with her natural pattern, or stick with the earlier bedtime routine in the hope she will get used to it?

TheRealPhartiphukborlz Sun 20-Jul-08 22:23:19

hmm, i would say stick with hers, she seems young to be down so early.. she will eventually i dont doubt it

naturalblonde Sun 20-Jul-08 22:26:20

I agree, she's still only tiny, and sleeping for 7 hours a night is pretty good at that age anyway. You'll probably find you can bring bedtime forward as she gets older.

lilyloo Sun 20-Jul-08 22:27:13

maybe try bringing it forward 5 min at a time until she settles into it.

CarGirl Sun 20-Jul-08 22:28:35

I would try to wake her up when she falls asleep on the breast so she is going down in her basket awake. I would agree don't be concerned about her not settling until 10pm she could be quite hungry and needing to cluster feed in the evenings but tired too so she keeps nodding off.

trishpops Sun 20-Jul-08 22:34:51

i'm so glad! although i've only tried bringing it forward for the last 3 nights, it's been really stressful for me and her because she cries which upsets me....whereas before it was a lovely peaceful bedtime. i do think that she feeds massively in the evenings. come to think of it, the last 3 nights she hasn't latched off independantly, whereas before she did. perhaps that's the key.
i've head of cluster feeding before, what is it? is it just where the baby feeds a lot in a short space of time?

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 20-Jul-08 22:41:29

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trishpops Sun 20-Jul-08 22:57:40

ah thank you starlight. i will efinitely stop trying to latch her off earlier. i thought she was just comfort sucking, and even tried a dummy the day she was 8wks, but she hates it. but i will go with her flow from now on. it's so hard to know whether being led by your own instincts (which in this case were to be led by baby)is right, or whether you're just taking the path of least resisitance, which in the long run is just making a rod for your own back. does that make sense?
i was only trying to get her to sleep earlier because i'm desperate for some time to myself (guilty emoticon).

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 20-Jul-08 23:09:31

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trishpops Mon 21-Jul-08 22:44:20

sorry went to bed yesterday.
had a lovley time tonight, went to visit friends for a meal (yippee!!) with baby, got home at half eight, bathed baby, fed her till she fell asleep and she was out like clockwork at ten past ten. we are all happy.
now for the next what age should i start to edge bedtime forward? give it another few months? or will she naturally start to fall asleep earlier as she gets older?

GreenMonkies Mon 21-Jul-08 22:55:46

She will naturally start to sleep earlier. Just go with the flow and try not to control things. If you relax and do what feels right (to both of you, so if she cries respond etc) you'll end up with a happy, calm, secure independant baby.

Following rigid routines may seem like a good idea, but infact they are very un-natural and can be very stressful to implement, not to mention stressful for the baby! Cluster feeding is normal, and it's why she sleeps so long at night. She may not always sleep like this, during growth spurts, teething or times of rapid development she may wake and need to feed in the night for a while. Don't panic, go with the flow and it'll come right again.

Chill, hold, feed, rock, nurse and nurture, enjoy being her mummy, carry her in a sling during the day, keep her close at night and don't rush, she'll be off and crawling before you know it whilst you sit and ask "where did my baby go?"


trishpops Tue 22-Jul-08 20:08:10

it's true that sometimes i forget to just enjoy her company.....i've been listening to all those well meaning people that keep asking me if she's in a routine. i did feel like ringing them all this morning and bragging beacuse last night she slept for 10 and a half hours solid!!! if i was sticking to a routine i would have woken her a hour and half before she woke naturally (grin)

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 22-Jul-08 21:55:03

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kwt Wed 23-Jul-08 14:27:36

trishpops - this thread really interests me as my 8 week old dd seems to be settling into this sort of pattern, however, she does seem to need to scream to exhaust herself before she sleeps at around 10ish. she does sleep through till about 5am though, but then has difficulty having sound sleep after that.
i'm ecstatic about that lengthy period of time, but wonder if it's because she hardly naps during the day and so is extremely exhausted at night. does yours nap well during the day as well?
also, i've heard that around month 3/4 with growth spurts and later with teething etc, even if they're sleeping well now, that may deteriorate. have many people experienced this?

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