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Should I be tougher about this?

(20 Posts)
Beansmum Mon 07-Feb-05 09:42:13

ds is 8 months and has slept through the night since about 12 weeks, apart from a couple of weeks when we were away from home. he is still sleeping really well but recently has decided that he can't sleep in his cot, he will only sleep in my bed.

I don't really mind but my family think I'm mad and will be stuck with him in my bed forever.

Should I try and get him to sleep in his cot again or not worry about it? And if I do decide to put him back in his cot how do I do it?

Kelly1978 Mon 07-Feb-05 09:52:11

Well I wouldn't worry about what your family think - it's up to you at the end of the day. If you don't want him there then maybe it would be best to break the habit early tho.
Mybe it is something to do witht the cot - you could try him in a bed of his own with a saftey rail. My son went into a bed that early cos the mattress went mouldy and I didn't want to replace it that late on. He loved the extra space.

Hulababy Mon 07-Feb-05 09:56:17

It really depends on how you and your DP feel about it, not your family. If co-slepping works for you then enjoy it. It won't last for ever anyway. I am not sure I know of any teenage children still co-sleeping with their parents

DD co-slept with us, until she was about 15 months. We then moved home and she hah her own room. She went into her own room well with noreal problems. She still wanders into our bed in the early morning, around 5-6am (sehe is 2y 10m) but generally she sleeps through in her own bed.

Beansmum Mon 07-Feb-05 10:00:23

well no dp, so it's just how I feel about it. I like having him there and he sleeps really well which means I get to sleep as well. He doesn't seem to care if I am there or not, he just likes the big bed, so maybe he would sleep in his own bed but I think I would be a bit nervous about that. Kelly - did you put your ds in sheets and blankets or under a duvet?

Kelly1978 Mon 07-Feb-05 10:02:38

I used sheets and blankets, just like in the cot. I also had a big cuddly at the end to stop him wriggling down all the way, though a rolled up blanket wud work just as well.

TracyK Mon 07-Feb-05 10:04:37

My ds goes through stages of sleeping with us - although he always starts in his own cot and can sleep there till 6 or 7 am - or sometimes he comes in at 2 ish. I am quite happy for him to come in although dh isn't too keen.
I do try to get him back to sleep in his cot for 10 mins or so and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. tbh there's more things for me worry about than where ds sleeps. (eg mmr is my main bug bear this month!)
I quite like having him snuggled up - and as Hulababy says - time flies past and they'll be all grown up soon and not needing us as much - boo hoo.

Beansmum Mon 07-Feb-05 10:12:11

I think I will just leave ds in my bed, we're both happy with it at the mo. I might try him in his own bed in a couple of months but he still seems way too tiny to be sleeping all alone like that! I was wondering if maybe he had started being so angry in his cot because I moved the mattress base down and now he can't see out?

TracyK Mon 07-Feb-05 10:15:05

does he sleep in his cot at all - even at the beginning of the night?

Beansmum Mon 07-Feb-05 10:18:40

nope, he just screams and screams until I pick him up again. I have tried leving him but I can't bear to listen to him crying for more than a few mins. As soon as I put him in my bed he looks around a bit then goes straight to sleep.

Kelly1978 Mon 07-Feb-05 10:32:28

f you are happy with it then go for it. It might have been the base that started it. I loved snuggling up with mine when I was single. I think I was more keen than them tho - they preferred their own beds!!

TracyK Mon 07-Feb-05 10:36:18

so he goes to sleep in your bed right from bedtime at 7ish?? presumably then he sleeps there alone till you come to bed later on?
if so - he must hate his cot. where does he nap in the day?

Beansmum Mon 07-Feb-05 10:39:26

yep, he sleeps alone in my bed from 7.30 until I go to bed at about 10-11ish. I'm sure he would sleep through even if I wasn't there. During the day he just sleeps where ever he gets tired! usually on a rug on the floor. He goes to nursery 3 days a week and doesn't sleep there, probably because they put him in a cot.

TracyK Mon 07-Feb-05 10:43:30

it doesn't sound like a problem to me. He obviously doesn't like his cot - but it sounds that if it ever did get to be a prob - it'd be easy to solve - just buy him a double bed for his room! it's not as if he wants to be with you rather than sleep, or waking up to be fed etc.
tbh I think my ds would like to be in our big bed all the time - but maybe it's the smells and warmth that they like. I'd have him in with me all the time if I could but he's happy in his cot most of the time.

Beansmum Mon 07-Feb-05 10:47:16

It's so weird that he's suddenly taken a dislike to his cot, but I'm not going to worry about it. I will buy a safety rail and put him in his own bed if I get sick of him or find a new man! And neither of those things are likely to happen anytime soon!

TracyK Mon 07-Feb-05 10:50:32

It is weird - funny little boy. But we never know what goes through their minds do we? - no point in pushing him into doing something he obviously hates. your lucky in the fact that you don't have a dp/dh huffing and puffing when ds comes into our bed. Sometimes I wish I was on my own too!

sweetkitty Mon 07-Feb-05 22:32:36

beansmum thats so spooky I was going to do a "how did you get them out your bed post?"

DD (6 months) has always slept with us she hated her crib with a passion she would bang her arms off it and howl she sleeps great in our bed for naps I have always put her in the middle of our bed and kept an eye on her but now she is beginning to wander around the bed (not when sleeping) only when she's awake and moaning to herself or when she wakes up. I'm terrified of her falling out the bed. We have a travel cot but she doesn't seem to like it either.

When we move she will have her own room and I wonder if it's even worth buying a cotbed or going straight to a single bed with bed guard?? I like sleeping with her but DP is starting to complain as he is scared of turning over and elbowing her accidently.

HunkerMunker Mon 07-Feb-05 22:38:37

DS goes to sleep on the spare bed in his nursery beautifully - it's his favourite place in the world it seems! He's not been as settled in his cot recently, but I think that has a lot to do with the fact he's just become really proficient with crawling and keeps doing it in his sleep and ending up bashing his head on the end of the cot.

I'd be interested to know whether people who put their babies into beds this early had a sleep-crawler...!

BM, co-sleep if you want to hun - it is lovely. We did it when DS was younger, but less as he got older and managed to take up the whole bed (HOW do babies do that?!).

Fran1 Mon 07-Feb-05 23:09:41

Enjoy it! But only if you are willing for it to go on for a couple of years.

If i were single i would love dd being in bed with me.
But as it is me and dp, its a bit of a squash, but secretly i know we both love having her warm body cuddling up to us.

DD hated did the same as your ds, around 7 or 8 mths she started waking frequently, and hated going off in the cot.

When she was about 15mths we put her cot in the loft, and she had a matress and duvet on the floor. She thought this was great and felt "special" so the going to bed routine was a breeze (we do have to stay in there until she is fast asleep but at least there is no crying or fuss). She is now in a bed, but still at the age of two, she will wake up at some point in the night and climb into our bed. This is ok now, but i worry about when i fall pg with no. 2 and i have a big bump to fit in the bed also!

But really, don't listen to anyone else, if it makes for a quieter life and you are happy then carry on as you are.

Beansmum Tue 08-Feb-05 12:18:39

grrrrrrrrr. I was quite content to just carry on as we are, ds sleeps so well and I get some time to myself in the evening, I'm not constantly trying to settle a screaming baby. But my mum called last night and is coming to stay on thurday and my dad's coming too, she wants to know where they are going to sleep if I'm in the double bed. So it looks like I might have to try again with the cot, or put ds in the spare bed in his nursery.

Do you think he would be alright in the single bed with a guard or should I put the mattress on the floor?

TracyK Wed 09-Feb-05 08:39:19

mattress on the floor i reckon. why not pop him in with your m and d?? they'd love it (not)

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