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tutterling2 is The World's Worst Sleeper: official. please oh please oh please come and help (warning: i am likely to NOT want to hear from you if you fundamentally refuse to let a baby cry)

(59 Posts)
Tutter Sun 13-Jul-08 19:52:40

i know some of you think it is wrong wrong wrong to leave a baby to cry

but with both boys we have reached points where we have decided to use cc

with ds1 it was a 2 night process - job done. he's now 3yo and we've never looked back

ds2 different. he goes through phases of screaming when he's put down for a nap or at bedtime. tonight he made himself sick within 2 or 3 minutes of being put down (we'd planned to go in after 5mins)

last night he woke at 3am and cried until 5:10 sad - we were in and out the whole time

we've learnt through experience that he is generally fine - not hungry/ill - happy as larry once up and out of his cot

again, i know some of you will say i should have got him up at 3am and held him/come downstairs/whatever

but i am

knackered

3+ years of being woken at 5am. a handful of 6am starts thrown in to ease the pain. in 3+ years i have woken naturally once

i could not get up at 3am

just could not

heyulp

Tutter Sun 13-Jul-08 19:53:02

oh yes, his age. he'll be 1 on friday

scorpio1 Sun 13-Jul-08 19:54:19

what do you do when you go in? dont talk or even look at him. just lie him back down and go.

you need to be quite strict - normally takes 3 nights IME

Tutter Sun 13-Jul-08 19:55:35

exactly that scorpio - keep it dark, no eye contact - check he has 372 dummies nearby (another thread entirely), lie him back down, leave

MamaG Sun 13-Jul-08 19:56:02

yy agree you need to be really strict. I did it with DS when he was about 14 months IIRC and it took about 3 nights. I felt such a fool for putting up with sleepless nights for so long, when it took 3 nights.

Yes, its horrible
No, it won't go on forever
Yes, it will work

Hang in there tuts

onepieceoflollipop Sun 13-Jul-08 19:56:11

Bump for you. Our dd2 is 11 months. The only thing that has worked for us is a <<whispers>> dummy. Sorry not to be more help, I am sure that if your ds isn't already having a dummy it would be too late to start. I will think of you when I am up at 5 am tomorrow, I am knackered as well.

Hope you get more responses soon. x

MamaG Sun 13-Jul-08 19:56:57

lol at the dummies

[been there done that emoticon]

DonDons Sun 13-Jul-08 19:57:19

my friend had same situation and bizzarrely what worked was exactly what scorpio said but also putting her hand on her son's chest for 10 minutes.... this was after quite alot of screaming had gone on/was occurring

onepieceoflollipop Sun 13-Jul-08 19:57:53

Sorry just seen your post re 372 dummies - we have 2 but dh is trained to make sure they are always within her reach. <<makes note to buy more dummies...>>

Ladytophamhatt Sun 13-Jul-08 19:58:16

have you tried a bed?

would he lay down again with you in a bed?

btw, i'm one of those who you don't want to comment but even i would draw the line at 3 am starts. ds4 has been known to wake around that time but does go back to slepp if we go down stairs so i sleep on the sofa.

Tutter Sun 13-Jul-08 19:58:40

the weird thing is that for weeks/months at a time, he goes down like a dream

then for some reason he has spells like this

puking is the random factor - means we have to turn light on, pick him up, change sheets etc etc

happened twice tonight sad

and now he must have an empty tummy

but i'm loathed to wake him to give him another bottle

onepieceoflollipop Sun 13-Jul-08 19:59:45

Also just to say (in a sympathetic way) our dd1 was a fab sleeper, we were so lucky. Shame her sister dd2 isn't the same. Sounds like you are in a similar position.

(some nights I am horrible and keep telling my dh "it's your turn" - after about 4 times he starts to suspect it probably isn't his turn lol)

callmeovercautious Sun 13-Jul-08 19:59:55

Tutter - you know the drill for CC, you supported me when I was asking about it I am sure. He is a different person so perhaps a different approach is neeeded.

Does he go down well at night? Does he go down early enough? Is he eating OK? Could he be thirsty as it is quite warm atm?

Tonight perhaps try a drink of water, quick cuddle and back to bed. I had DD waking for a few nights and it was so puzzling - could not work her out. Then I tried the water thing and did CC until she dropped off, now she is sleeping quite well again, still needs a drink some nights though but is going back off quite quickly.

onepieceoflollipop Sun 13-Jul-08 20:01:21

Tutter we have that - a few weeks of wakings between 5-6 am and if it is nearer 5 am she will go back to sleep (in our bed) for a bit.

Then suddenly we have random squawkings at midnight, or 3 am or whenever she feels like it.

Tutter Sun 13-Jul-08 20:01:30

dondons - yup dh has discovered that hair stroking works

dh just said "it's like he's saying: i'm really tired but please don't leave me" sad

i don't mind staying to stroke hair but i assume it's just another crutch (is that the word? [sleep deprived]), and it's not one i want to have to provide each time he wakes during the night

Seona1973 Sun 13-Jul-08 20:01:50

could be the dummy that is the problem - have you thought about ditching it? We got rid of ds's at 5 months due to multiple wakings to get it put back in. Does he have a comfort object? When ds wakes in the night I leave him as long as possible before going in and then he gets his taggy blanket shoved in his arms and his music box switched on and then I leave again. (the music box used to be attached to his mobile and once the mobile was removed it stayed attached to the cot and is used at nap and bedtime)

Ladytophamhatt Sun 13-Jul-08 20:02:19

if its weeks/ months apart I would say it's teething.

Ask scootergrrrl to send you over some of ther hardcore teething stuff she sent me and piffle.

also, ds2,ds3 and ds4 were/are always sick when they were teething.

This is probably unhelpful and you are a way more experienced parent than I am BUT that sounds exactly like what DS does when his teeth are hurting him.

He'll twitch around in his cot and struggle to get to sleep without what feels like hours of patting, but will cry terribly if he's left. Will generally fight sleep and resist with great force and screaming.

Pick him up or put a light on and he's immediately cheery. But over time we know it's simply that he's uncomfortable enough to be unable to sleep easily (ie when there are no distractions he feels uncomfy) but as soon as there is some action going on he forgets that he's in pain. Sounds implausible but honestly, he is so very different between bouts of teething (lie him down in cot and say shhh a couple of times, sit there for a couple of minutes then leave) that it's become really obvious that when the teeth are bad, he's bad.

Next to you I am a mere beginner in the sleep-deprivation stakes, but your post immediately made me think of the teeth thing. And no, painkillers etc don't make much difference.

Just a thought. I hope you get it sorted, it's torment, I know.

Seona1973 Sun 13-Jul-08 20:03:41

is he teething, coming down with something or just generally out of sorts? If he isnt like that all the time then he could just not be feeling himself at the moment.

Seona1973 Sun 13-Jul-08 20:04:51

I always found childrens nurofen best for teething pain

Ladytophamhatt Sun 13-Jul-08 20:04:57

yes and ds4 often has broken night when teething too.

MamaG Sun 13-Jul-08 20:05:00

Sorry to jump on the teething wagon but it does sound familiar, especially if he can go weeks not doing it.

My DS did it every single night for 14 months <weeps at memory>

Tutter Sun 13-Jul-08 20:06:48

teething? possibly, yes

the last bout was around the time his top 2 came though, a month or so ago

i'm really shit at knowing when teeth are on their way

when they poke through the gums i generally get the idea they're coming wink

Ladytophamhatt Sun 13-Jul-08 20:09:19

scootergrrl send some FAB stuff.

shes a teething angel.

Tutter Sun 13-Jul-08 20:09:45

i do feel miserable about it

he's such a sweet boy

so sociable, funny and cuddly

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