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26mo wants to sleep with mummy.....HELP!

(9 Posts)
honeybunny Thu 16-Jan-03 22:03:43

Hi all....
I'm sure this topic has been done to death but up til now we've never had a problem with ds1 and bedtime.
Saturday, settles well but after about 10 minutes, hysterical crying can be heard on the monitor so I go up to investigate. He is clearly frightened about something, but as yet hasnt the vocabulary to tell me exactly what has scared him. After about 15mins of trying to settle him, I decided, as dh and I were about to eat, to bring him downstairs. He happily sat and ate some spaghetti with us and watched casualty. By 10pm we were all tired so went to put him to bed. Hysterical before we'd even reached the stairs so left him in our bed to avoid waking up ds2. He fell asleep happily and I carried him up at 2am to his own room. He awoke enough to grumble but settled ok. Sunday.. he was sick in his bed after crying hysterically at lights out, but settled eventually after grumbling on and off for 30mins. Monday .... me, ds1 and ds2 all vomiting madly(virus again), ran out of bed linen so ds1 had to sleep with us in big bed. Tuesday... more vomiting after hysterical crying but eventually settles ok in own bed. Wednesday.... no dh to help, so as I take ds2 to his room for final bf and settling (5-10mins), ds1 actually falls asleep in his bed waiting for me to return for cuddles. Didnt have the heart to wake him. Tonight, he is over his bugs at last, but despite no lunchtime nap cries for over 30 mins before settling in his own bed.
dh goes away for a week ski-ing in a week, and if things dont improve I can see myself cracking and just bringing him into my bed to avoid the hysteria.
Any advise for a weary one? I'm sure this is yet another phase, but for those who have been there, are there any little gems of knowledge you can share with me?

RosieT Thu 16-Jan-03 22:13:22

Probably not what you want to hear, but I'd be inclined to pop him into bed with me just for a quiet life. It probably is a phase, but sounds like rather an exhausting one. Sorry

honeybunny Thu 16-Jan-03 22:17:53

Thanks RosieT, you're right, hoping to get him back to settling like the angel he used to be. The bed simply isnt big enough for 3 of us and I really like sleeping with dh on my own!

honeybunny Thu 16-Jan-03 22:18:21

Thanks RosieT, you're right, hoping to get him back to settling like the angel he used to be. The bed simply isnt big enough for 3 of us and I really like sleeping with dh on my own!

honeybunny Thu 16-Jan-03 22:19:07

oops, clicked that refresh button once to often

aloha Thu 16-Jan-03 22:27:24

Is there anything you can offer to comfort him, like a special toy? Or leaving the light on and promising to come back in five minutes, then ten minutes, then twenty minutes etc etc so he doesn't feel so much on his own. Maybe just going in to him after five minutes - ie before he works himself up so much - might help prevent the big tears. The illnesses won't have helped, I suppose. Maybe a slightly longer bedtime routine plus some visits and some lights might help. Also, tell him he can call you if he's a bit frightened, so he doesn't get himself so upset? My ds is younger so this is all theoretical, I'm afraid.

grommit Fri 17-Jan-03 09:49:30

Honeybunny - my dd (3) has been through this phase a few times, last ime being just after Christmas when we were trying to get her back in to a routine. I usually turn her lights off and sit with her for a while before she goes to sleep and then tell her I will be back soon to see her. We have had a few real hysterical screaming fits when I tend to bring her downstairs or into our bed, otherwise I do try to leave her to cry. If it is any consolation this phase usually passes after a week or so. It could be your ds is still feeling a bit poorly after the virus which is making him unsettled. Hang in there!

honeybunny Fri 17-Jan-03 10:11:53

Bedtime routine is about 1.5hrs! Bathtime with ds2 followed by some playtime in his room while I settle ds2 and stories and cuddles til 7.30pm. He has a night light by his bed. I do stay for about 10mins giving him cuddles and "nibbles" in the dark and he's quite happy until the moment I go to leave. I have tried telling him I'll be back to check on him but it just makes him more hysterical. If dh is around I send him up as ds1 gives up on waiting for me and finally settles. When dh isnt around and I go back up to reassure he becomes hysterical and this is when he's likely to be sick. I'm sure the illnesses lately havent helped. Its been ongoing since October last year (pneumonia). I think we've had about 7 clear, illness free days between the 2 of them since then. But I think I'll put that one on another thread.

Queenie Fri 17-Jan-03 11:49:09

Honeybunny, have had a bit of this since August last year with dd who is 27 mths. As I was pregnant then would give in to her but now with a 3 mth old in the bed have decided to get stricter. Anyway, I try to distract her wanting to get out of her own bed and into mine by talking about what we are going to do the next day and she really calms down and closes her eyes "to dream about it". This is after dh has read numerous stories to her. Sometimes she will wake in the night and start again so I have resorted to giving her a drink for now. I am already up several times with ds bf and dh gets up at 6 am so we are trying to ride the phase out really. Next stage is getting ds out of my bed into his cot but that's another thread.

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