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Are listening monitors the reason babies don't sleep?

(23 Posts)
mears Thu 27-Jan-05 23:15:14

I have a theory that baby monitors are one of the reasons babies have poor sleep habits. I have noticed that parents respond really quickly to noises that they hear on the monitor. The noises are louder through the monitor and I think, if left alone the baby would go back to sleep. I never used them at all. Reckoned that baby needed attention when you could hear crying from another room. My babies were in same room till about a year old. They would sleep morning and afternoon in cot, with me periodically checking.
My youngest is now 11 years old and monitors weren't used as often as they are now. When friends visited with their baby I was amazed that the monitor was on for every sleep and they responded whenever there was a grunt. Any thoughts?

Frizbe Thu 27-Jan-05 23:20:32

I think there is a bit of truth in what you are saying, our dd has been off monitor for a few months now, although she is and has always been loud enough to be heard anywhere! (she better be able to sing!) I do know people who have monitors who rush as soon as there is a slight mipe, thus not giving the child chance to settle, but everyone also parents in different ways, my dd has never liked rocking for instance, whilst some of my friends rock for their lives! (IMO rod's for their own backs!)

lockets Thu 27-Jan-05 23:20:36

Message withdrawn

ChicPea Thu 27-Jan-05 23:23:19

I do use a baby monitor for day time and night sleep so I can hear what is going on (if anything) without having to go upstairs (long way up) to check. And if I do hear something, I wait to see if he/she can settle themselves. If he/she starts crying and it persists, I go upstairs. I agree that reacting in an instant is probably more likely to make the baby/child expect the mother to go rushing in and therefore grows to expect it. My SIL rushes upstairs at the slightest noise and wonders why her DD takes ages to settle. I do agree with you Mears.

pinkdiamond Thu 27-Jan-05 23:25:14

Message withdrawn

colditzmum Thu 27-Jan-05 23:25:26

actually, I was thinking about this the other day. One of my friend is obsessive about hers, and her child is nearly 3. She sit there all night switching it on and off... off when she realizes she has switched it on, IYKWIM.

I have jokingly pointed out to her that if her child wants her, it will get up and get her! She agrees with me, but still uses it. AS Soon as the kid rolls over in bed, she runs upstairs, saying "Whats the matter, why are yu awake, are you poorly??"

I want to tell her to leave him alone! I would be mardy if someone came and woke me up every time I made a noise!

Fimbo Thu 27-Jan-05 23:27:02

We used ours faithfully for dd (now 6) every night. When ds was born (now 13.5 months) we used it for about 2 weeks then abandoned it because it prevented me from sleeping as I was constantly aware of every breath ds took and the slightest noise outside made everything sound 10 times louder

KateandtheGirls Thu 27-Jan-05 23:29:40

I don't agree. Using a monitor doesn't necessarily mean that you'll respond to every little noise. (I think it's a bad idea to do that.) But I feel it's important to be able to hear what's going on. If your baby's room is right next door and you can hear them crying, then it wouldn't matter. But my house is 3300 square feet, and I can't hear my girls in their rooms from mine. I still use a monitor even though my little one is in a bed now, because sometimes they wake up crying in the night, from a bad dream or whatever, and they don't always have the wherewithall to come to my room.

highlander Thu 27-Jan-05 23:32:59

I use one, simply beacuse I wouldn't wake up until DS was screaming, and I think it's cruel to let him get into that state when he could whimper a bit and have some booby

If he whimpers for more than a couple of minutes I always get up, but often he just wakes up then goes straight back off again.

MistressMary Thu 27-Jan-05 23:33:45

I agree mears.
I had a monitor and every little sound every murmur was heard, which in itself is fantastic, but I was up them stairs the second something changed.
I didn't use it after the first feew weeks.
I think it kept me awake more than our baby to be honest, listening.

Fimbo Thu 27-Jan-05 23:33:55

Yes K&TG would agree with you. We have ds on one side of our room and dd on the other, we rearranged the rooms when we had ds so we could hear them both. DD's room is above the lounge so if she needs me and I don't respond to her calls because I can't hear her, she stamps her feet on the floor.

sallystrawberry Thu 27-Jan-05 23:34:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bobbybob Fri 28-Jan-05 05:43:41

Oh mears I so agree with you. I have noticed that my dh is a nightmare if we have the monitor on if ds is sick, rolling into his room for every little cough.

DS's sleep improved when we moved to a house where he was down the corridor rather than next to our bedroom. We only heard the noises that mattered and needed responding to.

NotQuiteCockney Fri 28-Jan-05 06:57:14

On our monitors you can set the sensitivity, so it doesn't come up until there's a loud enough noise.

We use a monitor for DS1 because he's on another floor, and although he's in a bed, he's not got the habit of getting out of it if he needs a poo or whatever. It doesn't happen often, but I'd rather be woken for that than to clean up the mess from missing it!

And we use a monitor for DS2 because he's often sleeping out in the garden in the pram, with all the windows shut.

I do agree that they can make you hear, and react to, things you shouldn't. But if you have one with adjustable sensitivity, you can avoid this.

Tommy Fri 28-Jan-05 08:38:53

I agree - especially when you have light sleeper. We stopped using the monitor last summer when it was too hot and haven't used it since. My DS2 wakes often during the night - when I go in just before going to bed is he often sitting up in bed but not making any noise - I thinkI would hear him shuffling around if we still used the monitor

poppy101 Fri 28-Jan-05 08:49:00

I use a monitor as ds is 5 months and in his own room. I don't respond to every cry that he makes. I do creep into his room if he is a little unsettled but often leave him to go back to sleep on his own. I feel better for having the monitor as he is so young, but will probably pack the monitor away when he is older.

FairyMum Fri 28-Jan-05 08:56:27

I don't use a monitor, but I probably should, because I spend the first 12 months checking and re-checking my babies anyway, probably also waking them up so perhaps a monitor would be a good idea....I am one of those mums who run with blue lights to pick my baby up for the slightest sound I'm afraid....

misdee Fri 28-Jan-05 09:18:34

i use a monitor when kids are little but have it on very quiet (its now about 5yrs old and only has volume control on it, nothing fancy).

with dd1 i used it a lot as she suffers from asthma and even on quiet i could hear if she was wheezing. dd2 i had moved into a flat and didnt need the monitor. with this one i dont think i'll use it as we're now in a bungalow and at night i just leave the bedroom doors open a little bit.

cupcakes Fri 28-Jan-05 09:50:29

I agree with mears. We had a monitor with ds and he always slept really badly - possibly because I did go in on him very frequently.
Dd however is and always has been an excellent sleeper. We used a television monitor which we bought off ebay (like these ). It had a unit which sat by the tv with a light display and acted in every way as a normal monitor. However, I could also switch the tv over to 'her' channel and see the black and white feed. Consequently, although her cries always sounded loud and urgent over the monitor I could see that she was actually fine and really quite settled so I wouldn't bother her - unless she really did need me!

otto Fri 28-Jan-05 10:22:42

I think you are probably right. I have mine on the very lowest setting so can't here any noise other than loud crying. I have forgotten to turn it on several times and found that I would wake when he really did cry and do wonder if I need it at all. It is useful to let me know that ds has woken up as he often sits in his cot playing and chatting and I wouldn't hear that without the monitor.

sassy Fri 28-Jan-05 10:44:23

I find monitors invaluable but I have hearing loss (wear a hearing aid giving about 85% normal hearing and generally cope fine). I am paranoid that I won't hear dds crying if they are upstairs and doors between us are closed. There have been occasions when i've forgotten to switch it on, then remembered only to hear dd1 yowling her head off!
Don't rush up for every whimper tho, by any means.

Issymum Fri 28-Jan-05 10:45:00

We still use a monitor for the DDs (nearly 4 and 2), but that's because if we're downstairs we really can't hear them. One of the monitors is particularly sensitive, but turning it down to its lowest setting and covering most of the speaker with duck tape does a good job of filtering out all the non-essential stuff.

suedonim Fri 28-Jan-05 16:54:58

We've never had a monitor, either. Ds1 was in the room next to ours from 3wks old, while the other three have been in our room/our bed until at least 6mths. I seemed to wake up before they did, tbh!

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