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go to sleep

(6 Posts)
KezJen Sat 15-Jan-05 18:57:17

i know how good you all are at giving good advice, so could someone help me with this please?
my dd is 5 n a half months old and we are tryng to get her to sleep by herself. The hv suggested controled crying when she was 3 months old and we did give it a shot but she wouldn't sleep for longer than 10 minutes so we left it. We have started to try again but now she just works herself up and we find that she can't settle herself. It takes us 10 minutes to calm her down. She also sleeps in our bed that started off as a convience to me as we had just moved house away from family and friends and with a 6 week old baby unpacking and finding your way round boxes in the dark isn't the easiest thing to do.
So my questions are, does anyone have any suggestions on getting the baby to sleep independantly? and/or how to reclaim my bed?
Hope this makes sense.
Any suggestions greatly received
Thanks

poppy101 Sat 15-Jan-05 19:10:28

I haven't used controlled crying, no need to do it. Little one is nearly 5 months old and generally sleeps from 6.30pm until 6am with little disturbance. Have followed the GF method of sleeping. Brought the bedtime forward to 6pm-6.30pm as we prefer to have the little one up early so that it can see dh before he goes to work. Little one also has morning nap about 8.30am for 45 mins-1hr and has lunchtime nap early from 11.15am-1.15pm and afternoon nap of 15min-20mins. We find that the baby copes well and sleeps well. We have a good routine as well, story, bath, bottle and then bed all upstairs.

hermykne Sat 15-Jan-05 19:45:24

kezjen, i too use the gf routine and ds is now 5mths + 2. now i am not religious about it and he doesnt sleep as long as she directs . but when he was 16wks we did the pick up put down method using ssshhhhh to calm him and then as he progressed i used c/c but you really have to leave them longer than 10mins, of course go in every 2/3/4/5 mins to reassure without lifting.

i had a bad spell there and he reaLLY howled for nearly 90mins tweo nights and i was in bits but it turned around and now he settles very easily every nap.

it helps that he is my 2nd child and although i did c/c with my dd i was nowhere as regimental and it took til over 1 for her to settle into naps and sleep "easier".

so you will feel bad and be prepared to absolutely kill your d/p or dh whilst doing it but it does work out and the baby will be fine
they will still smile and gurgle in the morning.

Catbert Sat 15-Jan-05 19:48:46

3 months was probably too young to start. They take time to get used to being a "seperate" person - they don't know it for quite a long time, and they are used to mummy smells, mummy love, mummy food and mummy comfort - it's no wonder they can't settle themselves easily for a while. Also - the ability to put themselves to sleep doesn't even really start until about 3 months.

I know it seems the longest time, but these months pass very quickly really. I seriously would suggest allowing her to fall asleep in whatever way works best, without stress for anyone involved (on the breast/bottle, rocking, cuddling or in your bed), for another few weeks and then when she is over 26 weeks old, then you can try controlled crying again - which for me meant a cuddle to reassure you are there, in the cot when not crying, leaving to cry for 2 mins, then a cuddle again, then leaving 5 mins between each settle, which should mean not long enough for crying to get too distressed. If bedtime is right (small babies in bed by around 6.30 latest) and at least 2 hours since waking from last nap this should work. The next night, you can try leaving for 7 mins between each cuddle.

Alternatively, try picking up putting down, which can be quite hard work on the back (!) but often seems a more gentle approach, even if you pick up as soon as they get put down, putting back down the moment they have calmed down, and then repeating (often quite a number of times in the first instance) until you hear those telling yawns, and then all of a sudden, they don't bother crying any more and go to sleep. But the point is they have been reassured you are there and not far.

Sorry for rambling. Hope you find your way around this and the boxes!

KezJen Sun 16-Jan-05 00:29:46

thanks poppy101,hermykne & cartbert for the advice.
The 12 hours sleep sounds good, but what is the GF method?
Tried to explain what the pick up put down method was to dh but men being men incorparated it with c/c and he just picks her up then puts her down n leaves her for 5 mins. theirs only so much blood curdling screams i can take( bout 1 hours worth) before i give in n he's had enough.
thamks again kez xxx

p.s all but 5 boxes are now unpacked - mainly junk

mummytojames Sun 16-Jan-05 01:22:30

try getting her used to sleeping by herself before sleep training like let her fall asleep in you bed then put her in the cot it makes it alot easier if the cots in your room so when she does wake she can still sence you realy i dont think it was wise for youe health visitor t sugest cc at such a young age i would leave cc until the earliest of eight months old
the way we do it with ds now 16 months old is put him in the cot give him a drink reasure him everythings ok then put his musical toy on and just sit there besides him (well hes in the cot im on the bed reading my book)if his crying gets to bad rub his belly or back tell him its ok mummys here you go to sleep now it took about three weeks to kick in but now he goes in the cot not a mumur has his drink and just cuddles up and watches me until he falls asleep but as i said get her used to the cot and wakeing up in it on her own first

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