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(17 Posts)
Denisa Mon 10-Jan-05 14:45:57

Just realised I posted this question earlier accidentally under previous topic, so if you read it already big sorry. In the middle of cc - 5days.DD (8mths)started to sleep much better, even through the night...

Q1: How long will it take in general for the crying to stop completely before falling asleep? Will it happen at all?

Q2: What to do/what happens when going to sleep in other people's houses,e.g.m-i-l? Should we do cc as well?

Q3: If out and about should we just rock the pram? or let settle alone?

Many thanks in advance.

franch Mon 10-Jan-05 14:52:57

I strongly recommend reading the Ferber book, even if you've started cc already. DD now cries for a maximum of 4 mins - we did CC a while ago now but didn't have to do a lot of it, it worked so fast. Also she's almost 12 months - I think it varies a lot.

Ferber says it's fine if circumstances force you to abandon cc for a night, e.g. if you've got visitors or are using a babysitter.

Not sure about Q3 - DD always settles without crying when on the move - I don't think cc is suitable for those circumstances because you're supposed to leave the room etc. - I'd just do whatever you normally do I think ....


Denisa Mon 10-Jan-05 15:28:17

Thanks a lot. I have Dr Ferber at home now. I am quite happy with the up to 20min interval. But find it difficult to move on higher. Is that really necessary?
The reason I asked Q3 is I just worry that it will spoil cc. Once they learnt to fall asleep quickly, like your dd, does it work in other people's place or you just do something else?

franch Mon 10-Jan-05 15:48:59

I'm not sure that it is necessary to go for more than 20 mins. We didnt need to go anywhere near that. You'll probably be fine just sticking at 20 mins once you get there - others with more experience might say differently.

Have another look at what Ferber says about exceptional circumstances but my experience is, DD will settle fine in her cot away from home - if not, we'd do a gentle version of cc with her. But recently we were in a hotel and my parents took her in their room for 2 nights - my dad leaps up the moment she makes the slightest peep so the 1st night she was up and down all night - the 2nd night all evening, then slept through from about midnight. When we got home the night after she slept right through again

I thought you were asking about when you're walking around with her in the pram - in that case she should settle without crying?

Denisa Tue 11-Jan-05 10:32:30

Thanks franch. She does fall asleep in the pram, I thought more of afternoon visits to friends, but you did answer my question, thanks. I just should not worry about it so much. It's just she only started to sleep that long and I don;t want to ruin it.
Ferber confuses me, he says intervals 5,10,15 first day, 10,15,20 second, 15,20,25 and on increasing. We got to the third set of intervals but I don't feel comfortable leaving her longer than 25m, as she occasionaly gets stuck in the cot.She now falls asleep after 1-2checks, usually 1/2h. If I don't increase the intervals, will she continue crying that long? She starts screaming as soon as I put her down.
Many many thanks D

franch Tue 11-Jan-05 13:50:54

I don't think she'll continue crying for 25 mins - but as we've never had to leave DD that long, I can't say for sure. I know what you mean about the paranoia around the whole fragility of what you've achieved sleep-wise - the fear of regressing is terrible!

Good luck to you - hope it works out.

mummylonglegs Tue 11-Jan-05 19:00:44

1. Depends, we did it with dd at 15 months - she'd previously been a good sleeper. After a week she was back to her old pattern.

2. I'd avoid being in other people's houses until you've sorted the bulk of the problem out.

3. Pram sleeps IMO are quite different to cot sleeps so I don't think it matters a hoot what you do!

Denisa Wed 12-Jan-05 10:59:04

I am glad to hear that as she loves going out in her pram - 4-5 hours without a sound.

One more thing, dd learnt to sleep through now in less than a week (slept 12h for 4days) and from day 3 no longer wakes up in the night. Today is a day 8 but the crying before bed did not improve. Yesterday, I did an experiment and just sat by her cot - no touching,etc. She fell asleep without a sound in 18min and again slept 12h. Is that unwise of me? Or shall I do it for a while until she is a little bit older and than try again, because we tried cc at 61/2 month with no success and it worked now at 8 nearly immediately. Could it be the same with falling asleep? She just does not seem to get it. Our friends baby learnt within the week. There is no improvement at all. She just sreams even harder after each brief visits. I must say all this advise helps so much, could not do it without.

bakedpotato Wed 12-Jan-05 11:20:53

denisa -- i posted on your original thread before christmas. I am SO happy things are working out for you and so quickly too. all all credit to you for making it work.
don't know what to say about the bedtime howling. maybe if you do what you tried last night but every night withdraw a little, sitting closer to the door, until eventually you just hop out of it after putting her in the cot?

Denisa Wed 12-Jan-05 11:33:09

Thanks bakedpotato for your previous advise and now. I think that sounds good to me, lets hope it works as well. I am so glad I listened and persisted. To be honest I did not believe it would work. And I must say if I had read this post by ionesmum on 10 Jan under title the no cry sleep solution, I would not have done it. It totally put me off and now the hysterical cry seems even worse. Just wonder whether it is true what she written!

egypt Wed 12-Jan-05 11:54:09

i would def sit beside her if it helps her go to sleep and like baked potato says withdraw a little each night. do you say anything whilst you sit there, like 'shhhh' or any other key words? elizabeth pantley suggests doing this when she is quiet so learns to associate that word with being relaxed and sleepy. then as you withdraw each night continue the word until you dont even have to go in to reassure them back to sleep, just say it outside the door! sounds ominous. but?

i'm trying to ep's slow withdrawal phases rather than cc as my dd just gets herself totally in a mess. bless. this is much easier on her and me although will prob take longer. still on phase one though! (picking up and cuddling to sleep!) but its better than the constant waking and bf

Denisa Wed 12-Jan-05 12:23:22

Thanks Egypt. Coinsidently, my husband has always been "shsh" talking to her, will continue then.If your dd responds well to what you are doing than it suits her. After our experience at 6-7mths, I started to believe that there is a time for everything and forcing yourself and the babies will not make much difference. She too got herself in a mess at the time and would cry for up to 3 1/2h. Good luck. I too was fed up with bf, especial that dd had 2 teeth since 5 months that got pretty sharp by 7mths. Worked now though.

Denisa Wed 12-Jan-05 12:29:27

Egypt,I must add that the crying for a few nights was worth at least getting her throught the night. Now I can hopefully deal with falling asleep less drastically. But I think we succeded because on day 1 and 2 she only woke up twice. Once cried badly for 1h, second only 15min and third night slept through, but if she did wake up frequently as before (10 times), not sure whether I would have manage. I would have probably done the same as you.

DissLocated Wed 12-Jan-05 12:30:55

We did cc with dd when she was 12 weeks. In the first week she would sometimes cry for about 20 to 25 mins before going to sleep and sometimes drop off straight away.

By about day 10 she was falling asleep with minimum fuss. Now (9mo) she falls asleep at night with no crying, just chats to herself for a bit. She will cry for about 10 mins or so for daytime sleeps though.

Denisa Wed 12-Jan-05 12:38:20

You have done well Dis., babies have less energy at 12w so maybe that's why our dd takes up to 1h. It's good to know it took about 10 days...I'll try the "withdrawal from the cot" method and if it does not work try cc again little later. Thanks.

egypt Wed 12-Jan-05 13:47:10

you have done really well denisa. interesting, because i tried dd at 5 1/2 months with cc and it took 2 nights. the first she cried for 30 mins then woke at 12 and 4 for a feed. the second night she cried for 25 mins and slept through til 7am!! this was from waking every 1-2 hours! we then went away to my mums for a week and she gradually got back to her old habits. bizarre how when we did it 6.5 - 7months she would cry for much longer and much harsher and still then wake herself after just half an hour of finally dropping off to sleep. i couldnt keep it going throughout the night.

Denisa Wed 12-Jan-05 14:56:42

Thank you so much, I feel so much better now she sleeps.
That is interesting about the second time, it may sound funny, but could it be that she knew? I just tried what the girls and you said about withdrawing from the cot. After 7min and 2sobs she fell asleep, amazing. But somehow I felt she knew when I was just walking off and back and when I tried to leave the room completely. She cannot see as the front of the cot is wooden and also sides are covered by bumper. Mystery...
How're your little one's nights now?

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