7 month old waking hourly or more! cc not working......(21 Posts)
Hi, thought it was time i started my own thread after posting about this prob on other people's!
My DD is going to bed sometimes after formula sometimes a bf at 7. She then usually wakes at 10/11 and i bf her. then about 2,5,8. lately she has woken an hour after going to bed. tried cc. she may cry for an hour. goes to sleep, after anything between 10 and 60 mins she starts again. I do same thing, finally sleeps, wakes 10-60 mins later. Sometimes she takes ounces and ounces of formula during these awake times and she instantly falls asleep. only to wake 10-60 mins later!! get the pattern?! we usually get a 3 hour stretch somewhere in the middle of the night, which is a relief but isn't ideal.
i am also trying to stop bf her in the night as it seems to make her wake more often and need a bf to get back to sleep. (only for a short time again). the first time we tried cc when she was 6 months, she cried for 30 mins at bedtime. woke and had a little water at 12 then a bf at 4. the second night she slept right through! i don't know why it isnt working now though. do i completely deny her milk? do i offer her water? do i let her cc it out all night? because it seems that is what will happen.
any ideas please? i am so very very fed up
huge sympathies to you, it's the pits isn't it, that 2am and 5 am waking, it really wears you down.
I think, if you can handle it, you should get hardcore and do the cc and a drink of water thing. I know it's hard and you have to be mentally resiliant to do it, but it will work in the end. Is she on solids yet? You may find it helps to fill her up with carbs for her last meal, you know porridge, rice bread. It may take a while as it is such a habit and her sleep cycle is obviously shallow at those times which is why she's coming out of deep sleep, however you can teach her to settle herself and teach her that she won't be rewarded with a feed if she wakes up.
I think you are wise to get sorted when she is so young, I faffed about with my two ds's and the younger one 16 mo only went through the night without a bf last month - I should have got tough earlier.
So good luck and get on with it
Are you doing controlled crying (ie going in at 2, 5, 10, 15 min intervals etc, no picking up) or leaving her to cry? I wasn't sure from your post. I had a horror sleeper too, who miraculously got better at 8months (exactly the same pattern as my friend's ds, oddly enough). I did slowly cut out all night feeds between say 10pm and 6am, then did cc and he was fine. It's horrible isn't it? Expecting second baby in Feb and am still haunted by my experience with ds. But he's now three and slept from 8pm to 8.30am today - had to wake him!! And slept an hour and a half in the day yesterday!!! I would never have believed it possible when he was seven months.
thats good aloha, well done you! yes doing cc with intervals. she calms when i go in and screams when i leave which i know is meant to happen. trouble is, she falls asleep eventually only to wake again a few mins later. it is totally wearing and i guess the prob is i am giving in by actually feeding her eventually, immediately when she wakes again just to get some sleep. i can do cc until midnight ish then the next wake up i just feed her. she takes lots and lots and i feel cruel that is was actually hungry and needed a bf. but even then she will wake an hour or 2 later and can't be hungry? then we're back to square one.
we are going away at the w/e and my mum is having her. i'm hoping it might break her habit if she realises i'm not around. trouble is my mum wont do cc. she cant tough it. we may have to wait until we get back to do it properly. but then i always put it off! i'm happy to just feed each time she wakes, at least it makes her fall back off again, but just lately she is waking so frequently, i know she cant need it. its just comfort. and then the next day she doesnt take much milk. totally messed up routine.
and i'm worried if i keep bf in the night she's going to need me when we go away this w/e. ho hum, sorry to faff.......
Hi egypt. At your daughter's age, unless she is very underweight, I woulldn't have thought she would need you at all at night unless she's ill. She might really want you though - but that's a different thing! Every time you give her milk when she wakes up, you reinforce the waking behavior.
Don't worry about only giving water, she will make up for lost calories in the day, hopefully this would help her sleep even better at night.
I really feel for you BTW, my ds did this an at one point he was crying in his room, and I was crying in mine. Try to remember that you do deserve to sleep!!!
I think one night feed is fairly normal at 7 months but certainly not as many as she's demanding. She's using you as her comforter to get back to sleep which is what loads of kids do. Read Richard Ferbers 'How to solve your child's sleep problems' book and see if that helps you understand sleep associations better.
I can totally sympathise with you, we've just started cc with our 11 mo. Won't say too much in case it tempts fate tho...
Only thing I can say is don't be too hard on yourself for feeding during the night- ok the frequency atm is a bit much but my dd still struggles to do 12 hours without a bf ( can manage abou 10/11) and I'm certain she still needed at least one at 7 months. I got really worked up about it becayse i kept being told by people (strangers who didn't know my dd) that she didn't need fed during the night. I know lots of babies don't need it at that age but I felt as though I was under a lot of pressure to stop before she was ready.
Finally, have you tries Elizabeth Pantl ey's No ?Cry Slerep Solut ion? I hav a copy- cat me if you'd like to borrow it. It is good
P.S Soory bout typos, dd on my lp! SAhe likes pressing buttons.
What about giving her a good feed at say, 11pm/midnight, and then nothing until 5am, and gradually try to extend that time until you are quite sure she isn't hungry and can manage. I think doing cc and giving night feeds at the same time can be confusing and give mixed messages. I only did cc once ds was off night feeds (and he was truly a terrible, terrible sleeper - the worst) and it did work. It may also have been due to his age - that for him there was something magical about turning 8months.
thanks guys. i will certainly cat you hayls. i understand about sleep associations, but i do find the cc difficult when i really think she is hungry during the night. and you're right, it sis giving mixed messages doing both. i have tried dream feeds, although she wakes about that time anyway on a normal night. thats a good idea to do that then at least i know she isnt hungry when she wakes small hours and then stretch it out until 5ish for the next one. thank you. tonight i'll give it a go. it is confusing though that in the past she has gone from 7 until 5 or 12 until 730 or even 730-7am - the once! so i keep thinking, she cant need feeding. she has done it. i just dont know, all i do know is i need my sanity!
although to give her nothing until 5am after a 10/11pm feed, i'd have to pick her and cuddle her to sleep again. i couldnt do cc as its giving mixed messages like you said. do you think that would be giving her bad sleep associations too though. oh my life!!! i could try the water thing i suppose.
Have you tried sitting beside the cot and stroking her face or head whilst singing (badly in my case)? I got to the stage where I had to put one hand on her chest to stop her from rolling about or standing up and se eventually went to sleep. I then progressed to sitting beside her without touching or singing then moved further away from the cot. It DID work but a series of illnesses hols etc set her back so we've pulled ou all the stops and are in the middle of cc. She was about 7 months when we did that. It is still a sleep association but imo it's easier to break than cuddling or feeding.
thanks hayls. she often falls asleep immediately when i put my hand on her chest actually. only to scream when she wakes a few mins later and realises i've gone. better than cuddling though, i agree.
well....we resorted to the washing machine ON and the pram in front of it at 1am. she slept until 530 like that. weird. i wonder if she has an aversion to her cot all of a sudden. dh lowered it the other day as she's getting mobile, and tbh, she has been worse since then. even feeding her didnt help last night. after a bf she still wouldnt go down.
Just another thought but do you have a set bedtime routine? My dd won't settle herself during the day but will at night and I'm sure it's because she's in such a good routine that she knows it's coming up and is getting ready for it.
Sorry last night didn't go very well
yes we do. we always have bath, feed and bed at the same time in the same way. have forever. she goes down fairly well most nights. its just the resettling thats the problem. she is obviously winding me roung her little finger now as even feeding last night wouldnt settle. we are away at the w/e and my mum is having her - have i said that? - so when we get back we need to do some serious cc i think. its that bad.
Oh Egypt, my sympathies are truly with you. Go for your weekend away and enjoy yourself, if you can
ANd if you do try cc, it will be hard but I'm sure it wil work, probably just as you're about to give up!
thanks hayls and thanks for your email. i hope you are right.
last night my mum did bath and bottle - which she wouldnt take, then bed, at which point she screamed. mum gave her a cuddle and she just kept looking at the door. each time mum walked to the door she calmed down. it was a nightmare. i ended up bf her. i a just hoping that when i'm not here she wont think about a bf. there have been occassion just the last couple of weeks where dh was able to give her a bottle and put her down no probs, then she was happy to have bottle in the night. i dont know why she wont now. my mum may just have to resort to washing machine in the early hours like i did 2 nights ago and if she goes the night without food at least i'll know she can and do cc more happily when we get back.
If I may suggest give it another month and try cc again. I posted a message about a month ago, my dd was also waking up every 1-1.5h up to 10 times a night. We tried cc at 6.5 months and she just cried for 2.5h and would not go to sleep. I have taken advise from other moms and read Dr Ferber's book and tried again this wednesday. DD fell asleep after 1h of crying (could take longer)woke up 3 times and slept 7h in a row for the first time in her life. Friday was our 3rd night and she slept through. I sympathise with you as it is so hard not to sleep and harder to do cc when tired. We decided to do it because our holiday was cancelled a few hours before flight and we were therefore both at home - it helps great deal - at least for the 4 nights. I must say that we went from co-sleeping, dummy, rocking to sleep on Tuesday to sleeping in her cot (1st time), her room, no dummy wednesday. I think they just understand more when they get tiny bit older. 6-7 months may be too young. Good luck, hopefully it will help.
Also must add that the crying is very very bad, but you must persist. Just when we thought we cannot take it any longer, she would fall asleep. Don't give in, as Dr Ferber mentions you are doing your child a favour, teaching her to sleep and get more rest. My dd is so different in the day, full of energy and not much winging. I was so against the crying, first night cried myself on the sofa as she got hysterical. But it gets a little bit better. Can't say more as we are just in the middle, will keep you posted.
thanks for the posts and thanks for the book hayls! but i need your address to post it back sometime.
Have been away for the weekend and left dd with my mum....scary as she has been so dependent on bf in the night, but think we have broken that habit at least. she woke the first night and tried to suck my mum! she screamed and wouldnt give up, so mum had to put her in front of the noisy washing machine. the second night she had forgotten that habit! maybe because i hadnt been around to feed her in the day. she had a cuddle then fell back to sleep. the third night she woke even later than normal, quick cuddle then back to sleep. again at 5, then woke for the day at 745. has been much better, although i am yet to try it myself, as my mum did it last night even though we were home. i havent bf her since i have been home, so she hasnt had it for 4 days. have been expressing, but only need to do that once a day now. think bf may be finished..sad, but if thats what its going to take for my dd to sleep without bf then so be it. i know, maybe bf in the day might not give her that sleep association, but not sure i want to risk it.......
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