please explain controlled crying(7 Posts)
my 8 month old akes every night about 9 pm, has a feed then sleeps till about 3 am. After a cuddle he will sleep till around 5.30 am. What is controlled crying & will it help him sleep through ?
Controlled Crying is a system for dealing with sleep problems and is a bit contentious.
Basically what you do is this:
1. Put your ds to bed at whatever time is usual. It's important that he goes down awake so that he learns to put himself to sleep. (More on this later)
2.If he cries wait 10 mins before going in (or however long you can stand)
3.Go back and settle him again - the books say do not lift and cuddle - keep interaction to a minimum and just gently repeat "time to sleep".
Leave the room gain and wait another 10 mins and so on and so forth. Basically go and re-settle every 10mins without cuddling and lifting until he gets the message that he can sleep on his own.
That's the theory.
In practice it's not as neat and simple as I am sure others will tell you.
I did this with mine at around the 8-10 month stage (having recommended it many times as a health visitor without any idea how hard it was to actually do). I used to put my son into his cot asleep so he awoke in the night and needed me to get him back to sleep. I decided to use controlled crying but:
I couldn't wait 10 mins (used to sit at the bottom of the stairs and cry too)and went back after 5 mins
I lifted and cuddled if he got too hysterical(despite what the advice says).
In the end decided that leaving the room was too traumatic for either of us so sat in with him till he went to sleep and gradually withdrew. He's now 2 and sleeps from 6.30pm thro to 7.15am the next morning (what did I do to get such an angelic child )?
HTH a bit
There is a slight alternative called pick-up/put down that I think is easier on you. It's explained in full in the 'baby whisperer' book.
Basically, if your baby is crying, you go in and pick him up - but no chat or fun stuff. Once they have stopped crying and you know that he is OK, he goes straight back in the cot - it's important to do this before they are asleep. Repeat process until they fall asleep.
The first night doing this can be hell. It took three hours with ds the first night. It was definitely worth it though.
Mandy & Maretta - thanks for advice. I tried ( or I think I tried ) pick up / put down last night for first time. Took about an hour & about 5 pick ups to settle back to sleep. Can I just check I am doing it right - when he cries I pick him up till he settles then put him back before he is asleep. He sometimes cries for about 10 - 15 mins before he settles - should I still continue to hold him till he stops crying ? Maretta, I have got baby Whisperer book - where abouts does it tell you about pick up put down technique ? Thanks for your help.
I'll go and have a look at the book and find the page. There's a tv series too on discovery health.
Sounds like you're doing the right thing. The theory is that you let your baby know that if he has a problem, you are close - whilst being firm that it is time to sleep.
The book does say you should hold them until they stop crying but I know my ds sometimes does a cry/whimper as he goes off and it's best to leave him alone. I think you have to trust your instincts.
Sounds as though you've got it sussed Poppy.
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