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Breast Addiction? Tell me what I am doing wrong!

(18 Posts)
chicca Tue 21-Dec-04 22:21:00

I live in rural Spain, so not much chance for mummy chats, so am relying on all you to tell me like it is - all opinions invited.

Disasterous pattern is as follows.

DS is 5 months. have generally always favoured feeding lying on bed and DS has generally co-slept since birth in our king size (but still feels tiny) bed.

He can currently have around four/five naps a day including one around 6/7 pm for an hour.
Then bathtime/sleepsuit and on bed for breast feed to sleep.

Generally I only leave him once he has "spat me out". Then he wakes after hour and a half ( he used to sleep for about 4/5 hours at this stage). I go in, he is crying, won't be stroked, soothed or go back to sleep any other way than a little suck again (barely eats a thing). Repeat this recipe through the night until 8 ish. Ouch.

but, I know, I know - at least he his back to sleep in 15-20 minutes each time.

Can't see how we can ever break this cycle though.DH reckons it's all down to teething - not so sure.

DS has bever gone to sleep on his own i.e always feed to sleep or in a car, pram, train etc etc. Will iot ever happen?

Way to scared to do CC...........

pixiefish Tue 21-Dec-04 22:27:42

It will get better. my dd goes through phases like this./ At best she wakes only once in the night (about 3 am)
At worst she wakes at least every hour and a half. this can be down to teeth. I bfeed to sleep and have her in with me (dh working away)
I console myself with the fact that she will eventually learn to fall asleep- I know a lot of people whose kids have

Think he's a bit young for cc though

blossomgoodwill Tue 21-Dec-04 22:28:45

Chicca - it's hard but the only way you can break this cycle is by cc. I did it woth ds and it was heart breaking but after a couple of days he slept through. He was 10 months though and I think the older they are the harder it gets. I just couldn't cope as I was pregnant with my dd and needed sleep.
When dd arrived I was a lot harder in the fact that I would put her into bed once she was fed, winded and changed. I knew that everything was fine and would just lay her in her cot. I didn't start this until dd was 4 months though.
Ds was bf for about 6 weeks and dd was completely bottlefed. Both had dummies, so I think that helped.
My 2 are now 7 and 5 and are great sleepers. I know friends of mine that didn't teach there babies to fall asleep and still get them coming into bed in the middle of the night at 7. They also have to lay with them until they fall asleep.

chicca Tue 21-Dec-04 22:56:24

Hmm. Shame I can't get him to take a dummy - a few sucks and he would be asleep again I;m sure. Tried it dipped in Calpol once and that worked but once the taste was gone he spat it out again.

Am waiting to see what effect solids might have but am not pinning much hope on that...

How old is yours pixiefish?

stitch Tue 21-Dec-04 22:58:13

i did this with ds1 and he ended up in our bed for two years, although he stopped breastfeeding at four and a half months. the bottle feeding was harder, as at least with the bf you can sleep too.
with ds2 i bf sitting up in bed, and as soon as he was winded and changed he went back in his cot.he is three and a half now, and have never had him in bed with us. did the same with dd when she came along.
when the younget two were four to five months, i moved the cot into their own room!
basicaly you need to train your baby into realising that the breast is not for comfort and only for milk. also, once you start solids, it should get easier. my dd was an annoying soul who refused solids till six and a half months, at which point i refused to feed her except every four hourly, and never at night. it took ffour days, and she took to her solids after that.
hope this helps

blossomgoodwill Tue 21-Dec-04 22:58:33

Hi Chicca - hopefully the solids will help

blossomgoodwill Tue 21-Dec-04 22:58:36

Hi Chicca - hopefully the solids will help

blossomgoodwill Tue 21-Dec-04 22:59:07

Oops
Sorry but I have been on the Baileys again

stitch Tue 21-Dec-04 22:59:38

i think dummies are useless. but that is my opinion.
just be strong.
good luck

stitch Tue 21-Dec-04 23:00:14

read the contented little baby book. some good advice in there

blossomgoodwill Tue 21-Dec-04 23:03:38

Stitch personally I think that my dd having a dummy was a lifesaver. She had colic for 6 months and it really helped pacify her so for me the last thing a dummy was, was useless!!!!

stitch Wed 22-Dec-04 09:53:48

i think that s the thing about dummies. either they are lifesavers, or just plain useless. my mom used dummies on us, but my kids were never interested, and i got really stressed trying to keep them sterile.
what i cant stand though, is seeing 3 or even four year olds walking round withthem in their mouths.

pixiefish Wed 22-Dec-04 18:59:08

chicca- my dd is 10 1/2 months old

chatee Wed 22-Dec-04 19:50:01

can sympathise-my ds aged 10 months is just as you describe but this has only been the last week so hopefully just a phase.......it's the wrong time to do it though as i'm supposed to be santas little helper but am way too tired to do anything at the mo....

bellbottoms Tue 18-Jan-05 19:12:48

I sypathise - I was in your position! my ds is now 11 months, and he no longer wakes every 1.5 hrs... ok, he does wake typically once at 10.30 (or I just feed him before I go to sleep), than again 'sometime' between 3-5 and again at 6.30. At around 6 months I went through a stage of 'refusing to b/f him any more than 3 hrs, but just stroking him, or rocking backt o sleep without feeding - usually in only 5 mins (less than a b/f!) I am sure this elongated his sleeping times...Doesn't sound great, and not a full nights sleep I know, but it feels somehow feel much better! my ds is in bed with me, so I can go back to sleep asap...Prehaps now I shoudl 'refuse' the 3-5 am feed and see what happens!

egypt Wed 19-Jan-05 14:24:42

had exactly same prob with my dd. it's a sleep association thing. your ds doesnt know any other way to get himself to sleep and each time he enters a light sleep, wakes himself up and needs you to put him back to sleep. you could do cc at 6 months, but harsh. might work for you quickly, might not. anyway, try elizabeth pantley's book, 'The no-cry sleep solution'. extracts here

californiagirl Wed 19-Jan-05 19:02:51

If DD isn't really feeding when she wakes up, I space her feeds out -- so, when at about 6 months she started waking up every hour or hour and a half, I declared that she only got fed every two hours and cuddled her if she woke up before that. Just last week (at 10.5 months) she got snacky at 2 hours, so I declared that she only got fed every 3 hours at night. If she wakes up before that I pick her up and bring her into our bed and cuddle her, but don't feed her. It's a little more work than feeding her for about a week, and then she catches on. Last night, for instance, she only woke up early once, and that was at 2.5 hours. She was royally angry about it, but only for a few minutes and then she sighed and settled to sleep. The first night of the new rules she was in our bed most of the night. Last night she was in our bed about 30 minutes.

So, at least for my baby and what I need from her, CC is not the only way -- some screaming is involved, but not hours worth, not without being consoled all the time, and, frankly, not enough to wake me up 100%. Probably more total crying is involved than would be with CC, but I find it easier on my nerves.

And the difference between 2 hours and 3 is giant -- on our schedule it means 3 night feeds instead of 5.

egypt Wed 19-Jan-05 21:32:38

i agree cg. dd is now 7.5 months and doesnt need feeding at all during the night. i was away last weekend and my mum had her. it broke the bf to sleep habit. she didnt like it the first night and ended up in front of the washing machine in her pram on full spin. (the wm, not her!) it sent her from a wailing baby to peacefully asleep, instantly. that got them through the first night, then the second she knew that mummy wasnt there to feed her so just accepted a quick cuddle from my mum and went straight back to sleep - all 3 or 4 times of waking. when i came home, she took a night or 2 to cotton on that i wasnt going to bf her and she accepts a quick cuddle from me now. wakes 2 or 3 times before 1 am then sleeps the rest of the night. strangely enough. but they DO learn and i dont think that cc is the only way. and for me and my baby, not the best way.

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