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Comfort blankets / transitional objects / loveys / cuddlies - how did your baby adopt hers/his?

(38 Posts)
soppy Mon 29-Nov-04 12:56:01

Trying to get DS attached to something to help with sleep problems / separation anxiety - keep hearing about babies adopting a rag or whatever, but how on earth does that happen?! Does mummy introduce rag to baby, or does baby just bump into rag by chance and take a shine to it?

What did your baby attach her/himself to, and how?

soppy Mon 29-Nov-04 12:56:46

Neither DP nor I had comfort blankets as babies, so have no experience - then again, maybe that means it's not in DS's genes!

Fimbo Mon 29-Nov-04 13:10:12

My parents used to look after my DD (now 6) when I was at work. My mother had the bright idea to give her a scarf to hold when she went to sleep - it was a nightmare. Everywhere she went the scarf went too, she dropped it out the pram every day and you had to retrace your steps looking for it - my dad even found it one day in the bin at his local bustop! It defies belief that we always found it whenever she dropped it even on holiday in Portugal! It got to the stage that we eventually chopped the scarf into 4 pieces and we had 2 and my mum and dad had 2 just in case. By the time she stopped using it at about 3 all 4 pieces looked like old rags and were full of holes. I now have a baby ds and have not given him anything because I could not bear the hassle!

bakedpotato Mon 29-Nov-04 13:11:14

i wonder if it is genetic, actually?
dd adopted her muslin squares without any engineering from us. we used to put them under her head for naps (she was v possety when tiny) and it has just developed into a great love affair -- now specifically with the shiny label on which the washing instructions are printed. (got to be the ones from John Lewis though, Boots ones aren't the same.)
as a child i had security blankets, but they were always bits of blankets/snippet of mum's candlewick poncho (this was the 70s) etc and when they got lost, as they always did, it was a matter of going cold turkey until i found something else. i'm glad she doesn't have a special comfort-toy for the same reason.
please god, john lewis will always stock muslin squares!
(having said that, we now have a huge pile of useless ones, sans label)

soppy Mon 29-Nov-04 13:11:26

What age was she Fimbo?

soppy Mon 29-Nov-04 13:12:20

I did think of muslin squares actually - DS loves labels too!

bakedpotato Mon 29-Nov-04 13:12:44

apart from long car journeys, it never comes downstairs, though for reasons made plain in fimbo's post!

nasa Mon 29-Nov-04 13:12:51

my DS (3) has a thing he calls 'fleecy' It's actually one of those sheepskins that newborns sleep on but we never managed to get it off him! It's been cut down and is very battered but he LOVES it - we nearly lost if once on holiday and I was genuinely panicking. I do think some children 'need' comforters more than others. You could try sleeping with a muslin for a few nights and then transfer it to his cot - the smell of y ou might make him 'adopt' it. HOw old is he?

soppy Mon 29-Nov-04 13:14:36

10 months

Fimbo Mon 29-Nov-04 13:16:10

I went back to work when she was 3 months old and thats when my mother had her "bright" idea! Although my ds doesn't have anything that he "relies on", I do put the same cuddly toys in his cot at night, but don't take them out with us just in case they get lost, I just keep them on a shelf in his bedroom. Maybe something like this would work, then she wouldn't get too attached.

bakedpotato Mon 29-Nov-04 13:16:19

is he a thumbsucker? i think t/s are more susceptible to comfort objects. but i have no scientific evidence to back this up. anyone else?

nailpolish Mon 29-Nov-04 13:17:51

dd1 had terrible problems sleeping and at 6 weeks adopted a comfort blanket. im a bit embarressed about this but if it helps you then thats ok!

she was bf and she would only sleep on me. i got a blanket that she had drooled milk onto (therefore she could smell me) and put it in her clenched fist and near her face. she never actually sucked the blanket but would do sucking motions and it helped her sleep, i was so scared to wash i didnt for months. now shes 2 and i have now washed it! she has stopped taking it everywhere with her just recently but still needs it in bed. when i do wash it she watches the whole wash programme and tumble dry just make sure 'bada' is ok. its great if she is tired or scared or hurts herself cos 'bada' makes everything ok again

Blackduck Mon 29-Nov-04 13:20:48

ds has a snuggle (one of those soft material things with a head....known as Mr S.)...I try to only let him have it in bed (unless he is being paticularly gripey..) I just put it in his cot with him and he latched on....muslin squares also work with him if we are desparate! My particular thing when I was small was a bear....still got him - arms sewn back on several times (and the head ....)

Fimbo Mon 29-Nov-04 13:21:23

Hadn't though of that Baked P - my dd still sucks her thumb when she is tired. Ds not interested in thumb sucking. When I was small I used to go to sleep with an old baby blanket and sucked my ring finger and middle finger.

Fimbo Mon 29-Nov-04 13:22:22

Hadn't though of that Baked P - my dd still sucks her thumb when she is tired. Ds not interested in thumb sucking. When I was small I used to go to sleep with an old baby blanket and sucked my ring finger and middle finger.

Blackduck Mon 29-Nov-04 13:22:39

oh yes the washing machine! ds noticed I had thrown Mr S. in the other day and sat and watched him go round and round...! (I try to do it sneakily and luckily he dries v. quickly...)

Fimbo Mon 29-Nov-04 13:23:19

Sorry slip of sucked finger there

fisil Mon 29-Nov-04 13:23:21

ds was given a toy elephant when he was 6 months. From the moment he got it he has been attached to it. At first it was a matter of it being a favourite toy, but after a few months he became attached to it - at one stage he wouldn't leave home without it! We have managed to convince him that the elephant works so hard at night looking after him that it needs to sleep all day - so he puts it to bed before he goes out (which is a relief - the thing is handmade and so completely irreplaceable!) We have also had a cat tag engraved with our phone no. and sewn it round its neck! I can just imagine the phone call: "hello, I have here a very sad looking red rag, which may one day have been an elephant, and it has this number on its neck, you can't possibly want it back..."

I don't think we particularly encouraged this attachment - he just loved the thing from the moment he met it!

fisil Mon 29-Nov-04 13:24:02

And yes, he's a thumbsucker, elephant gets tucked under his neck in the style of a telephone so he can get his thumb in.

nailpolish Mon 29-Nov-04 13:26:41

the world would end if 'bada' got lost - love the cat tag tip - mind if i pinch it?!

luckily dd2 is a thumbsucker so cant lose that

bakedpotato Mon 29-Nov-04 13:26:58

fisil

Blackduck Mon 29-Nov-04 13:29:35

ds is also a thumbsucker and sucks the end of Mr S.s leg (its got a knot in it he likes...) nothing nicer than having a slobby, smelly leg whacked in your face first thing in the morning....

fisil Mon 29-Nov-04 13:30:40

Oh yes, and ds slobbers/sucks on it as he goes to sleep - just after he's brushed his teeth, so it's always covered in little white bite marks. Yuck!

Linnet Mon 29-Nov-04 13:34:25

My dd1 has a little lion that she has to take to bed every night. He comes on holiday with us and everything. she's 7 now but lion has to go to bed with her. She got him when she was 3 for christmas and he came with a bottle of bubble bath. He's looking a bit worse for wear now but because she was older when she decided to attach herself to him he was never taken out of the house. She also has her baby blanket which stays in her bed and also has to come on holiday. It was never taken out of the house either so it's in pretty good shape although starting to wear and get a bit holey.

dd2 is 6 months old and hasn't attached herself to anything yet. She has a snoopy that she loves to play with and a few snuggly things but nothing at the moment that she can't live without. but she sucks her thumb and dd1 didn't so it will be interesting to see if dd2 chooses a seperate comforter when she's older.

I had a little dog, still got her, and she's been sewn up so many times. she has no ears and no nose but she's mine and I love her, she's hidden in my drawer away from my dd's.

lima Mon 29-Nov-04 13:36:27

both my ds's are thumbsuckers and both have comfort objects - ds1 has a collection of soft toys and 2 pram blankets (!) and ds2 has a very shabby toy dog and resists all efforts to interest him in something else.


I'm not sure how it happened or why they selected those particular objects. ds1 recently purloined a rather nice cat from ds2 (who showed no interest in it) and added it to his collection

lima Mon 29-Nov-04 13:38:30

and I have my own toy cat, made from sheepskin, from my baby days. She lives in a shoebox in the wardrobe

fortnight Tue 30-Nov-04 12:18:51

I also think there may be a genetic link with the comfort objects-my siblings and my uncles had them. My ds never bothered,but dd adopted a blankie at about 10 months-large,fleecey and a pale colour-not what I would have chosen for cleanliness purposes.This was followed by a doll (always undressed),and a really scruffy cuddly toy chick which she spotted at a nearly new sale. And she had so many beautiful toys which never got a look-in!The trio went everywhere with her,and we have lost chicky-babby twice,for months at a time,and then miraculously found him again.It was a bit like dealing with the loss of a pet,I suppose.For that reason a blanket is probably better as it's harder to lose,but I think they usually choose their own.Children who have them are supposedly easier to manage too....

misdee Tue 30-Nov-04 12:23:33

dd1 has her penguin blankie. someone made it for her when she was a baby, and we didnt actually use it for ages, but from about the age of 10months she got very attached to it. i lost it once at a refuge and dd1 refused to settle. i found it in the garden in the pouring rain (one of the other kids took it out) so had to wash/dry it super quick so she would settle. at the age of 4.5yrs she is still attached to it especially when poorly.

dd2 has a rabbit from the bear factory which we got a few months ago. very attached to it. it was lvoe at 1st sight for her, even tho its a large toy and she trips over it at times, she adores it. she carries it around and its called 'Babbit'. i bought a spare one the other week as i dont think she'd cope if we lost it.

secur Tue 30-Nov-04 12:27:22

Message withdrawn

fairydust Tue 30-Nov-04 14:33:39

dd has a comfort blanket it's the size ofa cot bed and in thehouse it goes every were with her - it was a lovely cream colour but now is a dirty cream colour = been washed sooooooo many times even had to stop the washer half way once and dry it in the dryer quickly as she was going blue upset about it gone.

luck;ly we no longer have to take it out with us as it's so big it was always under the wheels of the buggy.

have tried several different blankets but none are the same as her blankie.

fairydust Tue 30-Nov-04 14:34:16

it sort of just came her comforter when she went into a cot at 6mnoths old

JanH Tue 30-Nov-04 14:37:09

DS2's was his cotblanket - a soft acrylic blanket with a smooth ribbon round the edge. We actually had 2, blankie was the white one but the yellow one was ok in the dark; and we cut both in half after a while so we could keep one at grandma's and always have a spare.

The white one is pretty grey now and the ribbon is long gone but (sssh) he still sleeps with it at home and he's 11!

cariboo Tue 30-Nov-04 14:38:58

I'd only ever admit it to MNers but I still have mine! He shares the bed with DH and me. I think I can count on one hand the number of nights I haven't had him with me. There's not much left of the original blanket, so I've made him into a little pillow.

mummytummy Tue 30-Nov-04 19:40:27

DD1 has a really cute blankie which I bought from Toys R Us. We have never let her take it out with her, but she sucks it when she's asleep. The only problem is we tried to buy a replacement in case it fell apart or something, but could only get a blue one (original is pink) and Daddy thought it was a good idea one day to put blue blankie in the cot with pink blankie and we've never managed to get it back! We put it in her cot when she was a baby, and she just started cuddling it. We do have to wash them once a week, because otherwise they get really stinky - especially when she has a cold!

sanchpanch Tue 30-Nov-04 21:23:28

my daughter (15 months) has a blankie it is a muslin square, luckily we have a few so can wash regularly, I think it started when i used to feed her i would always have one on her chest to catch any drips etc, then she started to rub it between her fingers, Now she is happy to have any thing as long as she can rub it through her fingers!!!

LizP Tue 30-Nov-04 22:11:05

ds1 has a pillow case with buttons on - but only in bed. His button thing started as he used to fiddle with the buttons on my nightshirt while feeding. The pillowcases we had at the time had large buttons on and he transfered to that. We have about six of them so no washing problems. One pillow on our bed usually has one of these covers on to help if he migrates bed at night, Only draw back is he prefers the buttons undone and is always undoing buttons he finds - like all the duvet covers.

SecondhandRose Wed 01-Dec-04 08:01:38

I can't believe you want your children to have these ruddy things. I am now 37 years old and have not broken the habit. Please do NOT encourage your kids with security blankets.

cariboo Wed 01-Dec-04 16:53:56

You can say that again! Unless you want your kids like me, still cuddling a security blanket at 42! (I notice no-one commented on my shameful secret...

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