Newborn won’t sleep anywhere but our arms

(36 Posts)
sittingwaitingwishing Wed 28-Jul-21 16:06:21

I know this has been posted a million times before but looking for any advice.
I’m a FTM and our baby is only 12 days old, so still very young. The first few days at home, we were able to put her to sleep in her Snuzpod and there she stayed for a few hours at a time asleep, but now she will only fall asleep when she’s being held, night or day. I know a lot of people will say it’s very normal and still so early, but how do you transition so that she will sleep in her crib? Do you just keep persisting each day to see if she will do it? I feel a bit clueless and already sleep deprived - the nights are particularly hard and myself and my husband are having to take shifts to hold her.
Any advice welcome!!

OP’s posts: |
AnnaSW1 Wed 28-Jul-21 16:18:30

My only advice is to accept that this is what they are supposed to do! They've been hugged inside you and don't want that feeling of security to stop. I think you have to just keep talking it in turns. It will pass. It could be helpful to google the 4th trimester.

DGFB Wed 28-Jul-21 16:21:35

It is normal I’m sorry to say. It does pass. Keep trying to put her down, warm the Moses basket up if you need to so she still feels like you’re there! But be prepared to take shifts for a while yet until it passes.

DGFB Wed 28-Jul-21 16:22:38

Also lay on the snuzpod/Moses basket mattress yourself to warm it up/transfer your smell before putting it back and then laying her down.

Cosybelles Wed 28-Jul-21 16:24:23

We warmed up the cot before we put her in, very slowly lowered her in while gently moving her about a bit. Once she was on the mattress, removed hands very slowly. Kept one hand flat on her body, gently rocking her slightly, until she settled. Like defusing a bomb. I cannot guarantee this method!

Mammma91 Wed 28-Jul-21 16:26:06

Sorry Op. it is hard, I would try swaddling her. I done this with DS and it worked for us. Your HV will be able to show you how if your unsure. flowers

Hullabaloo31 Wed 28-Jul-21 16:28:09

Roll with it and shifts is definitely the way to go! And give swaddling a go, you'll start to get short stints and they'll eventually get longer.


SpringRainbow Wed 28-Jul-21 16:28:59

It can be very hard, especially when nothing works and they are determined to stay snug in your arms.

However, I know it don’t feel like it but this stage isn’t forever. It’s just because at the moment you are all your baby knows.

Look up the fourth trimester.

In time your baby will get used to sleeping elsewhere it just takes time.

bunhead34 Wed 28-Jul-21 16:29:16

I recommend swaddling too.
Put her down very gently and rock her body a little side to side then retreat very gently!
I had some swaddle suits from little seeds they were very good!

Paris2019 Wed 28-Jul-21 16:36:34

Yes, I'm afraid we were in the same situation and only time solved it. DS started sleeping in the Snuzpod around 9/10 weeks. I sympathise as that must seem a long time away... just do whatever you can to get sleep in the meantime.

VoyageInTheDark Wed 28-Jul-21 16:59:21

DD2 is the same OP except she is 7 weeks old. Everyone says it will pass but I don't really get how when she cries every time I put her down! DD1 was the same and I ended up co-sleeping for over a year!

Flyingfruit Wed 28-Jul-21 17:13:05

Have you tried white noise? It was like an instant cure with my youngest, she suddenly stayed asleep when we lay her down, she still has it every sleep now at 9 months.

Duckyneedsaclean Wed 28-Jul-21 17:14:38

Have you tried swaddling?

User0ne Wed 28-Jul-21 17:22:18

Try every few days. Sometimes she will, sometimes she won't. It'll go through phases.

My DS3 is 4m and really the biggest thing I've learnt is just to go with what works for them. You can't make a point to a baby so why torture yourself doing something that makes them scream for hours. It will change when THEY are ready for it.

sittingwaitingwishing Wed 28-Jul-21 17:35:11

Thank you all for your advice - I know it’s been said before but it does help to know it’s not uncommon and just the way things are.
We have tried swaddling and so will continue with that and white nose. We will try warming the mattress up to see if that makes any difference too.

OP’s posts: |
AllTheSingleLadiess Wed 28-Jul-21 17:40:25

Have you tried swaddling? It recreates that snug -in-the-womb sensation that she likes. The first 3 months are often called the Fourth Trimester which might help you feel better about how much she needs physical contact.

Flittingaboutagain Wed 28-Jul-21 18:03:05

Hi OP.

Currently holding my 4 week prem newborn who won't sleep without being cuddled. I'm just accepting this is my full time job and embracing it! Partner does a shift doing the same at night too and settles her after cup feeds. It's the fourth trimester and totally normal. Swaddling helps a bit as does warming the cot but it makes no difference to many babies who just want us.

CloseYourEyesAndSee Wed 28-Jul-21 18:04:08

Work out how to safely cosleep and be patient smile it will get easier

sittingwaitingwishing Sun 01-Aug-21 05:44:39

Thanks again for all the tips.
For those that said their baby was the same but eventually got the hang of sleeping in their own crib, how did this come about? Did you just keep persisting in trying to put baby down every day and hope that one day it worked? We keep trying but I don’t see any improvement/difference at the moment from day to day!

OP’s posts: |
110APiccadilly Sun 01-Aug-21 06:17:00

We kept persisting. I think DD got it at about 6 weeks. They were a very difficult 6 weeks, but after that her sleep really did improve quite quickly. We couldn't co-sleep (DD too small to do it safely, according to the Lullaby Trust info), which made things particularly tough.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken Sun 01-Aug-21 07:17:56

I found taking the mattress out of the Moses basket and laying on top of it while I fed them helped. It meant it was warm and smelled of me when I put them back in.

To be honest, we didn’t even attempt to try to put them down for the first few weeks. We just slept in shifts.

It passes though xx

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken Sun 01-Aug-21 07:20:07

Lying on top of it*

doudouchouchou Sun 01-Aug-21 07:23:34

I also used to put a small t-shirt or towel that I had slept with in with them. M
But honestly, it's totally normal. Read the newborn Ten Commandments and give yourself 6 weeks. Everything is a phase ...

fruitpastille Sun 01-Aug-21 07:31:11

Also rocking/ walking them in the pram might get them to sleep for naps.

Doughnut100 Sun 01-Aug-21 13:02:57

Swaddling is a big help. Don't bother using muslins or Velcro swaddles, get a zip up one like a woombie. I got mine off eBay for a few quid. What worked for us was to let her fall asleep at the boob with only her legs in the swaddle, then zip her arms in when she was asleep. If we tried to swaddle her fully awake she would protest. And if we tried to use a Velcro or muslin one it would wake her up when we were putting it on because it's too much movement.

Then we put her in the snuzpod and often she would wake up and it would all start again. But we just kept trying. Rocking, feeding, waiting until she was deeply asleep before moving her.

It was very difficult until 5 1/2 weeks when she suddenly started sleeping through.

Good luck, the thing to remember is this is only temporary. Try to treasure this time through the insanity because your baby will never be so tiny and precious! It's fleeting xx

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