2yr old waking for up to three hours during the night

(6 Posts)
NewLevelsOfTiredness Fri 11-Jun-21 11:35:58

My daughter is 2 years 2 months.

Her sleep has always been a bit of a challenge. She's had every sleep regression listed. And we've always gently trained her out of it, and gotten back to being able to leave the room while she settles herself to sleep.

This time it feels impossible. If I try and leave the room she will run to the door and bang on it with her fists and scream (more angry than sad, if that makes sense.) I can't gently take her back to her bed because she fights it so hard.

So I've given in a bit and stayed with her until she sleeps - it can take a while but it's nice being there with her.

But now she's waking during the night and not going back to sleep - this was always the part she was good at to be honest, the initial bedtime was always the problem. Last night she was awake from 11:30 to 02:30, at which point we gave up and took her to our bed, where she largely kicked the shit out of us until the morning (both while we slept and a little bit while she was awake.)

Nothing we tried worked. Even staying with her didn't - she simply wouldn't fall asleep. We can only train her to an extent because she screams and cries so loudly that it wakes up our two older kids (6 & 11) - and the younger one especially gets very distressed.

She's a massively stubborn kid. Her daycare are lovely but say they've rarely encountered such an iron will (they also say we can make it a positive thing and that she's a warrior - a description I like to be honest.)

I have to do most of the nights because she calls for me and gets hysterical if her mum tries (I'm her dad, maybe should have mentioned.) I took over nights at seven months when my partner was struggling with breastfeeding. And because I deal better with little sleep generally. But I'm struggling with it now. My partner can sleep through when I just have to pop up and soothe our daughter back to sleep, but obviously wants to help when it goes badly like it is at the moment. It's upsetting for her to feel rejected at this point (although our daughter is totally into her mum during the daytime, so there's no issue there.)

Don't know what I'm asking really. The sleep training doesn't seem to possible because she won't soothe unless we appear to be staying, but she doesn't all asleep if we do stay.

Oh, and we'd be all for cosleeping, the older two were always welcome, but the little one doesn't really like being in bed with us (for sleeping, she enjoys jumping on us and kicking us.)

OP’s posts: |
FATEdestiny Sat 12-Jun-21 09:23:18

You've moved from a cot to a bed early, I wouldn't consider it before 3rd birthday at the earliest (and closer to 4th Birthday might be better).

Your daughter probably doesn't have the emotional regulation to cope in a bed and how "exposed" it feels in the middle of the night.

I would love to a cot.

If not, she's probably going to need a parent in the room to help her manage the emotional regulation aspects, so may be set up a spare bed in there for yourself.

FATEdestiny Sat 12-Jun-21 09:24:09

"I would move to a cot"

NewLevelsOfTiredness Tue 15-Jun-21 11:06:50

FATEdestiny

You've moved from a cot to a bed early, I wouldn't consider it before 3rd birthday at the earliest (and closer to 4th Birthday might be better).

Your daughter probably doesn't have the emotional regulation to cope in a bed and how "exposed" it feels in the middle of the night.

I would love to a cot.

If not, she's probably going to need a parent in the room to help her manage the emotional regulation aspects, so may be set up a spare bed in there for yourself.

We moved her to a bed when she started hurting herself trying to climb out the cot. She's unfortunately athletic enough to make a good attempt at it.

It's a small bed with enclosed "cot style" low sides and a gab near the foot for getting in and out. She still chooses to climb over the sides.

She absolutely LOVED the bed at first, it was the best she'd slept for ages. This recent change was very sudden.

Last night I was with her from 9.15 to 12 and again from 02.30 to 03:30. Being there doesn't really seem to help her actually sleep, unfortunately.

OP’s posts: |
dopeyduck Tue 15-Jun-21 14:29:17

Is she just having night terrors? Absolutely age appropriate.

CoffeeandCakeEqualsLove Tue 15-Jun-21 14:31:16

How much does she nap during the day? My DS was like this and cutting his nap time shorter made a huuge difference

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