4 month old and no sleep

(4 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Gemskiola Sun 18-Apr-21 07:00:51

I need to vent. I am currently sat with my 4 month old son on my nap, eating for comfort again because I put him down to use the bathroom. I have been up since 2:30 am with several failed attempts at putting him in his bassinet. I try putting him down when drowsy (straight after feed, which just results in him spitting up and waking up 10 minutes later); putting him down in a ‘deep’ sleep, about 20 minutes after a feed, but he still wakes up ten minutes later. Some days, some of these techniques work, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes he will sleep for an hour and a half, sometimes three but mostly for just 10-20 minutes (or wakes up instantly.) Since the regression started, he now doesn’t have a long stretch of sleep first thing at night, perhaps only 2 hours. I have moved bedtime earlier but it makes no difference. He refuses to nap (unless on me) he will not nap in a buggy/car seat, he will not be put down in the bassinet for a nap (same issues as night time sleep) Fresh air during the day doesn’t seem to make a difference. I’ve even tried laying him down wide awake when he seemed a bit tired (not interested in toys etc) with some white noise. He just sat there smiling and eventually cried for me. Probably out of boredom. The only way I have any sleep is if my husband looks after him. We have to do ‘shifts’ which means we both only get 5 hours sleep (but in reality it is less because who falls asleep straight away/ I’m often woken by baby crying) I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. Worse still, he seems to be only comforted by sucking. Rocking and shushing have no effect, he just keeps crying (and he will take a dummy but only sometimes but this only helps very temporarily). When he is with his dad, if he isn’t sleeping he eats until he spits up. We practice paced feeding but a lot of the time I think he just eats to suck. I have eczema but usually it will not shows up as dry skin, now it’s come back really badly because of the stress. I feel like all the advice I get/ that is out there is just impossible to implement. It all seems to be conflicting as well and it revolves around some kind of schedule when my baby has no clear schedule. I’ve been tracking him on Huckleberry and he sleeps and eats at random times of day for random lengths of time. The only thing consistent is the inconsistencies. He is consistently inconsistent! I don’t want to let my son CIO and don’t really see how that would work in practice anyway. The sleep training methods rely on being able to comfort your baby. For me that would be 5mins of him crying, 5 mins of failed comforting to which point he will be hysterical, followed by 15/20 (or more!) minutes of him eating for comfort, then put down for round two in which there would be 10 minutes of crying etc. How are you meant to do that when he wakes up at 2am? The cycle would be endless (as I well know because I have my own cycle of trying to put him into the bassinet only for him to cry so I have, in some ways, seen how this plays out in practice...spoiler, it always ends up with me giving in and accepting I won’t have any sleep)
I hate the horror stories of mums saying their child never got over the regression. I could deal with it if we at least had a decent stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night. I miss being able to sleep in the same bed as my husband. We always wanted to have a sibling for our baby, and I know I wouldn’t be thinking about it for a couple of years anyway, but I am genuinely considering if I could do this again. My anxiety is through the roof and our mental/physical health has never been so bad.
...ok, rant over. I’m not necessarily looking for advice, just wanted to vent.

OP’s posts: |
OverTheRainbow88 Sun 18-Apr-21 07:01:57

Does he have a dummy if he likes sucking?

MaMaD1990 Sun 18-Apr-21 07:11:11

Sleep regressions are the work of the devil - you have my sympathies. Babies are the ultimate test of patience in life. I dont want to hound you with advice if you've not specifically asked for it (it sounds like you're on information overload via Google) but I do want to say you aren't alone and this will end. I remember thinking "fuck me, this is my life now, no sleep, no enjoyment, this is totally shit". Then one day I woke up to crying at 7am and DD had slept through, just like that. Keep doing what you're doing, although it's hard, but there will be some light at the end of the tunnel soon, I promise.

LouMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 18-Apr-21 10:50:38

Hi there, @Gemskiola - we're just bobbing on here to let you know that we've moved your thread over to our Sleep topic where, hopefully, you'll get some useful advice.

Thanks and take care - things DO get better with time, we promise. flowers

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