Please tell me it gets easier! :(

(13 Posts)
Toniaxo Tue 23-Feb-21 18:05:54

My LO is just about to turn 5 months old and I'm still really struggling with parenthood. As a newborn he was so fussy, if he wasn't sleeping or eating he was crying / fussing. Everyone told me it was normal and would get better at around 3 months - it hasn't. I spend his every waking moment entertaining him in the hope to stop him crying and its exhausting. He naps around 3 x 1 hr a day which is my time to do the housework etc. The only saving grace was that he slept well at night, but now that's even gone backwards with at least 2 night feeds and regular restless periods through the night. Everyone around me seems to have such 'easy' babies, I don't know if people just pretend or if genuinely my baby is a lot more difficult than most. I knew parenthood would be hard, but I hoped by this stage I'd be starting to enjoy it or at least see the light at the end of the tunnel! Really I just need some reassurance that it won't be like this forever and it will get easier, because I keep thinking 'it'll get better when x' and it just doesn't! sad

OP’s posts: |
IHTC Tue 23-Feb-21 20:21:42

Is there perhaps a medical reason such as reflux or constipation which might be causing him to be a bit unsettled?

What routine does he have at the minute?

I know it feels like this will last forever but I promise I doesn't flowers

thatvegangirl Tue 23-Feb-21 21:07:55

Have you been to see a cranial osteopath? My little guy had awful colic for the first three months, I saw two different GP's who were next to useless, then a friend recommended going to a cranial osteopath - and he figured out what the issue was! Have a look into it x

Gigitree Tue 23-Feb-21 21:15:28

I could have written this about my little one, I promise you it does get easier. Once she started solids and was physically able to do more such as sit up, bumsuffle, crawl etc she was a much happier baby.
Your little one might be ready to start weaning hence the being hungry at night time, I know some people have said their babies started waking for feeds at around this age, my LO certainly seemed hungrier in the few weeks before we weaned her.

FATEdestiny Tue 23-Feb-21 21:17:27

I spend his every waking moment entertaining him in the hope to stop him crying and its exhausting

If he's crying and is not hungry, he wants to be asleep. His reason for crying is that he's tired. Instead of entertaining him, settle him to sleep.

He sounds over tired, I'd reduce awake time between naps.

Toniaxo Tue 23-Feb-21 21:42:57

Thanks for your replies! He does have reflux yes, but any medication we've tried just seems to make him more unsettled, being this close to weaning i've just decided to ride it out. Tempted to try weaning early but so many people advise against it I don't know what to do for the best.
He takes 6oz roughly every 3 hours through the day and 4 hours through the night - 7 bottles a day.
I really don't think he's tired, after all he's fussy within an hour or so of waking up. He has approx 2 hours of awake time before showing signs, eye rubbing etc., At which point I'll start settling him. I've tried starting to settle him sooner but just find it a waste of time as he won't sleep any quicker. We have a mini bed time routine - nappy change, cuddle, pull curtains, dummy, but often it takes 30 minutes or so to get him off to sleep, by which point he only has an hour or so before waking to eat. Because of the reflux, I can't feed him just before sleep obviously! I will definitely look into the cranial osteopath!

OP’s posts: |
FATEdestiny Tue 23-Feb-21 22:05:03

he's fussy within an hour or so of waking up.

Yes, he's tired. It's normal for a baby this age to be ready to sleep within an hour of waking.

He has approx 2 hours of awake time before showing signs, eye rubbing etc

Outward signs like eye rubbing etc are signed baby is now over tired and needed to be fully asleep at least half an hour earlier, probably more.

Have you seen this thread? Baby is the same age as yours.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/4174156-5-month-old-tired-and-sleeps-alot

I mean thus gently, but I think you have your expectations wrong. A couple of things, for example ...by which point he only has an hour or so before waking to eat.

Yes, that's right. Really life with a young baby is mostly just
>wake
>feed
>A little bit of floor time until grumpy, an hour would be a lot, more likely 30-45 mins or so
> Settling to sleep
> Sleep
> and repeat.

There isn't expected to be huge chunks of time to "entertain" then when little. This struck me from your OP too, so much so I was going to add it yo my earlier post but decided it was irrelevant

As a newborn he was so fussy, if he wasn't sleeping or eating he was crying / fussing

See - newborn literally only eat and sleep. So your baby wasn't fussy. In those first few weeks literally life is just wake > cry > feed > back to sleep and repeat over and over again.

If you got into the mindset that baby needed entertaining out of being upset, rather than settling to sleep (which is understandable, many FTM don't realise the amount of sleep babies need) then u can see how it now would seem very strange to try and help your baby sleep much more.

Speaking as both a mum of four (very different babies) and also as a sleep consultant, I'm absolutely certain that the primary issue to tackle here is not enough sleep over 24h.

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Buttercupcup Tue 23-Feb-21 22:14:28

Have you tried the huckleberry app? I just use the free version to track sleep and the nap ‘sweet spots’ it’s honestly made such a difference to my little girl! She’s 7 months now and Iv been using it for about 6 weeks and I was definitely waiting too long between naps! She goes down easily for naps now and is much happier between times as she is rested. I was waiting for the yawning/eye rubbing etc but actually she was probably overtired/stimulated by this point and now sometimes feel like I put her down before any tired signs but sure enough she goes over no problem most of the time!
My first has horrendous reflux and under medical guidance weaned early just before 5 months and it made a huge difference it might be worth having the convo with your GP/HV if they are approaching weaning age?

Butterflies13 Tue 23-Feb-21 22:21:31

I think you need to look at his routine and awake times. I followed a sleep Consultant for my second baby as my first was a bad sleeper. I would throughly recommend it. Best £40(ish- can’t quite remember how much it was) I’ve ever spent. I just bought the online course suitable for my baby’s age and followed the daily schedule and settling methods and it worked after 3 days this was the website justchillbabysleep.co.uk

Toniaxo Wed 24-Feb-21 08:24:45

The baby in the post you referred me to was having 2 hours awake time also, so I'm not sure of the relevance. He's sleeping around 11 hours at night and 3 hours during the day, most places I've read say 14 hours is about right for his age. How many hours sleep would you expect him to have in 24 hours?

OP’s posts: |
Toniaxo Wed 24-Feb-21 09:07:15

This morning we woke at 8.30am (went to bed at 9.15pm with a night feed at 1am and another at 5am), had his bottle and is now crying - do I start trying to settle him now? (9.05am)

OP’s posts: |
FATEdestiny Wed 24-Feb-21 09:17:46

Assuming he's had his morning milk, good winding and nappy change etc, then use crying as your marker for it being time yo settle for a sleep.

If baby gets grumpy/clingy/whining/won't be put down, it's sleep time.

You won't see an immediate change if over tiredness is engrained. Give it a couple of weeks of being consistent.

(PS - I referred to that thread only because the OP questioned baby sleeping only 1h after waking in the morning. You questioned the same, so I thought it might help see that it's normal)

beckyyl Wed 24-Feb-21 12:49:36

Butterflies13

I think you need to look at his routine and awake times. I followed a sleep Consultant for my second baby as my first was a bad sleeper. I would throughly recommend it. Best £40(ish- can’t quite remember how much it was) I’ve ever spent. I just bought the online course suitable for my baby’s age and followed the daily schedule and settling methods and it worked after 3 days this was the website justchillbabysleep.co.uk


I absolutely second this - a sleep consultant was the best thing I ever did too

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