Going to start sleep training my 14 month old next week- advice, tips, success stories PLEASE!

[Kate3150]

Would love to hear methods people have used and how it’s worked for them?
I’ve been putting off and putting off but had an awful night so determined to try something as we all need more sleep.
Thanks, look forward to hearing x

[Etherealhedgehog]

Following for future reference! (Good luck)

[Iamnotacerealkiller]

We are currently doing controlled crying with nearly 13month old dd. Night one went ok tonight is night 2. My sister had great success with her two year old with the same. He was an awful sleeper!

[Stringofpearlz]

“Sleep training” isn’t your only option. It generally means you’re teaching your child that no one will come and/or meet their needs, which doesn’t sit well with me. Can you bed share? I bought a super king for us all to bunk down in, when necessary. Contrary to some opinion, it doesn’t teach bad habits - 3 year old sleeps amazingly in her own bed. No training required. She slept independently when it was right for her. 12 month old is in with us. Wakes at the mo for a comfort feed due to teething but generally a good sleeper when I’m close. I understand you need your sleep and the sleep deprivation is dreadful but just wanted to offer another solution as so many people think they need to leave their kids to cry.

[Iamnotacerealkiller]

My neighbours still cosleep with their 11 and 9 year old....

[MazDazzle]

Sleep training doesn’t have to involve crying. I used the Baby Whisperer’s technique. It was 10 years ago now, and sadly she’s passed away, but her videos are still on YouTube.

[Stringofpearlz]

Haha I appreciate my comment will go down like a fart in a lift because people who do ‘controlled’ crying will be defensive, but just offering another perspective

[Stringofpearlz]

@Iamnotacerealkiller

My neighbours still cosleep with their 11 and 9 year old....

What’s your “neighbour” got to do with anything?

[RiverSkater]

Gradual retreat worked for us.

It took a few days.

Good luck!

[olderthanyouthink]

@MazDazzle link? There's eleven billion baby whispers on there

I'm with @Stringofpearlz I don't want DD to cry for no good reason and I don't want to condition her not to let me know if she's upset, scared, lonely, hungry etc. I saw a study where sleep trained babies didn't get anymore sleep but they were quiet so weren't bothering their parents

[sparklingstars12]

We didn't really sleep train as such, but we did night wean and he slept through a week later. What you need to change will depend on what you are currently doing to help them get back to sleep when they wake; feeding, cuddling, rocking, patting etc.

[Harrysmummy246]

If you don't want to sleep train but do something developmentally appropriate to aid sleep respectfully, have a look for Lyndsey Hookway's website or on instagram.

[Harrysmummy246]

And agree with @Stringofpearlz they get their in own time. Crap sleeper DS now goes off to sleep on his own and sleeps in his own bed, with one or no wakes, most nights. He's 3y7mo now. Occasionally we share e.g. after a nightmare. Doesn't mean I actually sleep any better mind you.

Never sleep trained. Gradually helped him do this on his own, at his own pace, never forced.

[MazDazzle]

Tracey Hogg aka The Baby Whisperer. She published several books and had her own TV show. I’ve searched YouTube, but so far I can only find other people trying her techniques.

[ManicPixie]

[quote olderthanyouthink]@MazDazzle link? There's eleven billion baby whispers on there

I'm with @Stringofpearlz I don't want DD to cry for no good reason and I don't want to condition her not to let me know if she's upset, scared, lonely, hungry etc. I saw a study where sleep trained babies didn't get anymore sleep but they were quiet so weren't bothering their parents[/quote]
^ That’s still preferable to no-one getting enough sleep, which is usually the case for any parent desperate enough to try sleep training.

[Goostacean]

Oh my gooooodness, these threads always go the same way. Always a pile-on of naysayers.

OP, we recently sleep trained our baby at 13 months old. It was a bit hard but he was up every 2hs for breastfeeding and a cuddle... Ridiculous. Over a year old and sleeping worse than a 4 week old! And me on my knees from tiredness, underperforming both at work and in terms of patience with my older child.

DH went up to him every time with a cup of water, gave a cuddle, laid him back down. It took several nights, but within a week he was sleeping 7-7. Literally. (And within a few days of starting, DH had ditched both the water and the cuddles, just laid baby down and stroked him a bit.) I was a new woman, baby was much happier because tbh the waking was a bad habit for him also and he wasn’t getting enough quality rest. Everyone is happier. I recommend you at least try it, and give it a solid week. If it’s not working, stop. But be ruthlessly consistent, otherwise you will just be upsetting baby and failing to change habits.

[xHeartinacagex]

For us it was teaching them to self settle that did it. We went really gradually from feeding to sleep, to cuddling to sleep, then in cot with back rubs, then a pat and leaving the room.

They still wake up sometimes over night, but it's usually for a reason like teething, nightmares etc. Which is totally fine and they know crying or shouting means we will come.

[Clarabellawilliamson]

I sleep trained my terrible sleeper when she was 14 months, I had tried all the gentle approaches, trying to get her to fall asleep with me being there patting or whatever used to lead to ridiculously long bedtimes with LOTS of tears.
I watched her play with a doll, lie it down, put a blanket over and said night night dolly, so she knew what was expected.

Anyway, first night I geared myself up for something terrible but it lasted....8 minutes! She was ready, it wasn't traumatic. She was cross for a bit because she wanted me, but she didn't think she had been abandoned, it didn't teach her no one cared, it just showed her that bedtime meant sleep time.

I was so sleep deprived, it made a huge difference to my life, and hers. It was definitely the right thing for me to do. You all deserve good sleep, give it a go.

[Groinpainruiningmylife]

Sleep trained both of mine at 7 months old, only took 3 days maximum and they both sleep 7-7 now and when they cry I know they really need something so we go in straight away.

Everyone else can do their several wakes a night until their kids are 4 if they like but we were all happier once we were getting sleep!

Go for it OP, but be consistent.

[Etherealhedgehog]

@Groinpainruiningmylife can I ask what method you used?

[Kate3150]

Thank you so much for all your replies, I really do appreciate it.
I’ve got to try something as had yet again another terrible night. Think I went in 3 times been 11.45-12.15, then 3 times again around 2.45-3.15. It’s so much harder than when he was a newborn, as at least then he would have a feed and go back to sleep easily.
He goes down to sleep lovely at the start of the night. Bath, story, breast feed. Then I put him in cot drowsy but awake and just stroke his head until he goes off, no fuss at all. Then he’ll be unsettled from 9.30pm throughout the night multiple multiple times 😞

[Groinpainruiningmylife]

@Etherealhedgehog We used the Controlled Crying method

[Kate3150]

@Groinpainruiningmylife- how does the controlled crying work without that sounding like a silly question? X

[Groinpainruiningmylife]

@Kate3150 We went in to them at various time intervals, slowly increasing the time in between. We'd go in and sush and lay our hand on their chest but we wouldn't pick them up.

Of course before all this we'd make sure they'd been fed, nappy changed, appropriate clothing etc.

They did cry, and it was hard but I still don't regret it.

[Kate3150]

@Groinpainruiningmylife- so would you do like 2min, 4, 6 etc or longer? When you go in just shush, lay hand then leave the room? Sorry for all the questions, I’m clueless x

[Groinpainruiningmylife]

@Kate3150 exactly that x