Really torn about sleep training / what to do

(1 Post)
Jr9901 Sat 09-Jan-21 15:25:50

I have an almost 13 month old daughter who never really slept well from the start. When she was about 10 months and I went back to work I gave in to pressure from my husband did controlled crying as she was up every hour or 2 every night. It worked very quickly..however not really because we kept having to repeat it everytime she got a cold which was often. I found it way too distressing to continue to do it constantly so went back to resettling her in her cot (in her own room) until I came to bed..then I generally cosleep after that as I can’t be arsed when I’m half asleep and it’s the easiest way. She does sleep better cosleeping but still thrashes around a lot and I generally don’t sleep well otherwise I’d do it all the time. I love the cuddles but the novelty wears off after the 2nd hour of having her pulling my hair, sticking her fingers up my nose and collapsing on me (as cute as she is!)

I don’t want to go back to any crying methods but I’m so shattered and my husband won’t help as he wants to do controlled crying so I’ve just said I’ll deal with her at night now so it doesn’t cause an argument. If I persevere with putting her back in her cot all night / settling her without picking up unless very upset is this likely to work? I keep telling myself I’ll do this but then I get so shattered and it’s easier to cosleep (even though it’s bad sleep it seems better than faffing about every 2 hours or less)...but then if I don’t do this will she never stop waking every 2 hours??

She did learn to self settle during the controlled crying and would sleep for 12 hours (for about a week till she was teething or had a cold!)..but I fear she has forgotten. She can put her own dummy in now which helps and most of the time she’ll let me settle her back to sleep and put her down for the night in the cot with me holding her hand. Sometimes she’s having none of it though and will only go to sleep being held.

If it was just down to me I’d probably just cosleep till she grows out of it but it’s causing increasing tensions with my husband and I’m struggling at work to get honest. Feel very conflicted! Just a general moan really!

She’s also night weaned and I stopped breastfeeding a couple of months ago so no idea why we’re still on the 1-2 hourly wake ups!

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