Struggling with 7 week old baby, 😔

[CatMum87]

DD2 has just turned 7 weeks and I am really struggling with getting her to sleep-both day and night! Her sleep is no better than the day she was born, in fact worse!

The only way we can get her to sleep in the day is via the baby carrier, but it can take up to an hour to get her sleep and by then It's often time for a next feed. And god forbid if we sit down, need to be in constant motion! She used to sleep in arms after much rocking but now just squirms and wriggles. Never appears to feed to asleep or if she does, her eyes ping open five minutes later.

Night is just basically a big old mess. I give a bf at around 7 or 8 and then hand over to DH who takes her for a few hours so I can get a few hours sleep until her next feed. From then until morning it's one big blur of feeding, trying to get her back to sleep and then settling her. If I do manage to get her down she tends to wake 45 minutes later. She also never seems to get into any kind of peaceful sleep. Longest stretch she did once was 2 hours. She is also constantly squirming and wriggling before eventually crying out, and appears to suffer terribly with wind.

I feel like i literally spend the whole day and night getting DD2 to sleep so she isn't an overtired and screaming mess but with DD1 who is 2.7 to look after I'm just finding it all so unsustainable and overwhelming. I feel I'm completely neglecting DD2. Even the simplest of tasks seem impossible with a baby that wants to be constantly held or will wake at the drop of a hat.

I 'wake up' (never really been to sleep) anxious every morning and cry daily at the enormity of it all and wish for our old life back as a threesome which sounds awful. I just can't see the wood from the trees at the minute.

Sorry for the long post. But just wondering whether anyone had any advice or been int he same position.

[Lizbear17]

Hi Catmum87

Sorry to hear things are so difficult at the moment. I have a 9 week old DD and we went through exactly the same at about 7 weeks (although I don’t have a dc2 to add to the mix!). I think it’s to do with them being much more alert - they seem to fight sleep then get horrendously overtired/overstimulated. That’s my reading of it anyway. I found understanding awake windows helped so I can start trying to get DD to sleep at the right moment (not over/under tired). Also making sure there is background noise means she isn’t disturbed as she is if it’s silent and there is a sudden noise. Lastly I found bouncing on a yoga ball helped get her to sleep.

I’m still struggling with night sleep as DD just wants to be on us at all times and has stopped going in crib. Do you cosleep? I’m struggling to find another answer!

[Iminaglasscaseofemotion]

My second was like this during the day. Couldn't put him down at all Andy first was very much on the back burner. It was horrible. I'm due my third now and have got a sling to put her in. I'm hoping that will help and at least givee 2 hands to get other things done.

[Niffler2019]

Hi @CatMum87
Sorry you're struggling so much. I don't have any advice but just wanted to say you're not alone. I'm also struggling with a 7 week old dd who won't sleep unless being held. I've tried everything, as soon as we put her down she wakes up screaming. Thought I was making progress as for the past week we actually got her to sleep for 3-3.5 hours in the cot during the night but it doesn't seem to be happening tonight 😔
I have a 7 Yr old dd who is now at home so day time naps are going to be out of the question even if I do get the baby down to sleep. My husband helps as much as he can when he's here but he works 12 hour night shifts so a lot of nights I'm on my own and managing on about 2 hours sleep

[CatMum87]

Niffler2019, I am sorry to hear that you are also finding it tough, I don't wish it on anyone, but I am glad that I am not alone. . Its so hard to get anything done with a baby that wants to be held all the time and fights sleep. I'm note one for just sitting down and doing nothing so I kind of feel trapped You are doing brilliantly surviving on two hours sleep with no help overnight. We have no routine and jsit end up with a scream overtired baby 😔. We've tried warming the mattress, putting an old tshirt in, swaddle, no swaddle, white noise, dummy etc as I'm sure you have. Nothing seems to work!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion- congratualtions on your third pregnancy! After this experience she is defintiely our last baby 😂. We've had to put our little one an extra day in nursery, which I feel awfully guilty about even though she loves it. We have the ergo embrace carrier which has been a god send for two arms but I am beginning to hate the sight of it lol.

Lizbear17- thanks for the tip re the yoga ball. I actually deflated mine as soon as we got home from the hospital. That was hopeful thinking eh!! Under/overtired is defintiely a thing, just a little difficult with another little lady to look after, we often end up with a scream overtired mess! Especially in the evenings.

I guess I just didn't realise how hard a second baby would be. I often heard about them just fitting in but this is defintiely not the case here! Sad that I am just wishing the baby days away. Anyone else feel the same? X

[CatMum87]

@Lizbear17, I don't like the idea of cosleeping, tried it and felt so uncomfortable and dd2 hates lying on her back, so sort of goes against safety guidelines with her on her side snuggled up against me. But then the alternative is sitting up in bed with her and dozing which also isn't safe! Uh its so difficult! X

[Lizbear17]

@CatMum87 yes I hated getting the yoga ball out again! I sat on it to wfh throughout pregnancy and used it whilst having contractions so I didn’t want to see it again 😂

Agree re cosleeping - I have tried it a couple of times but found it super uncomfortable so I didn’t sleep anyway. Found that DD slept well next to me and on her back which I thought was the problem re her not wanting to sleep in crib! Turns she just doesn’t want to sleep on her own (even though we have a next to me crib).

Last night we tried hwb/one of my tops in her crib but she woke as soon as DH put her down. I fed her then put her down and she managed 3 hours miraculously - although it involved a lot of shushing and use of dummy to help her to settle every 45 mins or so but I did sleep in between thank goodness.

Considering DH giving formula dream feed to see if she sleeps better after that.

[CatMum87]

@Lizbear17 yay for the 3 hours sleep in the crib! I remember with my first DD scrambling in the dark to find her mouth to insert dummy! 😂. The dreaded transfer to cot- I swear even when we do the drop arm test so think she is in a deep sleep, it rouses her and she wakes!!

DD2 thrashes and grunts around in her sleep I have difficulty figuring out when she needs feeding, but I'm too terrified of her waking up fully as she is so difficult to get back to sleep.

I've got a really supportive HV and she suggested about giving some formula in the evening so I can get a longer stretch of sleep and see if it settles her more.
We actually went to a cranial osteopath the other day who said that DD2 defintiely has a tongue tie 😳- so now I'm thinking that may be contributing to her unsettledness and wind. Quite frustrating as two midwives had already checked and I'd said all along to them that she seems to have quite a shallow latch but all assured me that as she was putting on weight she was getting what she needed 😕.

Now to find that yoga ball 🙈. Beats standing up all day pacing. Xx

[Mmsnet101]

Hi OP and other PP, it's really tough at this stage with a clingy baby so sympathies!

I'm no expert but two things that really really helped me - the huckleberry app (free) where you track feeds, poop and sleep and it then gives you personalised awake windows etc. And alerts.

The other thing was a Fisher price rocker chair (cheap - argos) which also vibrated. It was a saviour for day time naps. Can rock with one foot so can sort of get other things done, and the vibrations/toys tends to send them off quite quickly. The vibrations also help with wind and constipation so win/win! My DD would only be held, in a sling or in the chair. Once she got familiar with the chair, she got better at not being in my arms constantly too.

[Noname12345]

My lo was a non sleeper. Spent all day holding him when poor dh got home from work I always thrust him in his face just to have a break.
Didn't co sleep personally don't like it and so was surviving on very little sleep
In the end we found white noise helped him sleep, weirdly the hairdryer noise was the only thing and once we started using this on an app it changed our life. Forgot the womb noise teddy's lol!

[Userzzz]

Hi OP, I really feel for you. Sleep deprivation is torture. Do you have a rocking chair? I had a mamaroo, expensive but lots can be found second hand, has good gentle side to side rocking motions and white noise. The white noise helps a lot! Try swaddling. In a month or so try putting some of that rice cereal with bm to fill up baby before bed ( never worked for my DC but it might fit you). The first year is so hard, you will get through it on the other side. Good luck .

[Userzzz]

Oh and when my DS would scream while fighting sleep, I would turn on the vacuum and rock him and he’d pass out right away!! The loud hum immediately put him out. Try it!

[GingerScallop]

@UPSmom You are on every sleep thread tonight with this. How is the marketing working? Otherwise share your real experiences

[DaisyChainsForever]

OP are you giving baby anything for the wind? Infacol/gripe water? (something stronger from GP) that may help settle their stomach and lead to a bit more sleep.

[MissHoney85]

Following with interest as this sounds very similar to my 3 week old DD. She will now sleep in a reclining vibrating chair during the day, and in the last couple of days has started to sleep for a 2-3 hour stretch between about 3am and 6am. It's hard work getting there though - similar to you, my DH has her from about 8pm-10pm then 10pm-3am is a constant cycle of feeding, rocking to sleep, putting down, waking up a few minutes later and repeating. Even when she is asleep, she seems uncomfortable and restless and I have the same dilemma about whether to wake her fully.

I'm wondering if I either have a slow milk let down meaning she is just very hungry a lot of the time (she often gets very frustrated at the breast, pushing and pulling at the nipple, wriggling around, grunting) or maybe has silent reflux. I'm hoping to talk to my breastfeed counsellor about it today, and / or my HV or GP if she's not able to help.

[CatMum87]

@Mmsnet101- thanks for app recomenation, I shall have a look at that. We have a bouncy chair and a swing, both of which are sitting pretty much unused as whilst she will happily sit in them, she will not go to sleep in them at all! Just escalates to screaming 🙈.

I though DD1 was a high needs baby, but looking back she was as good as gold lol. Although at the time I had the opportunity to to help her self settle etc but this time I really don't have the same time to dedicate to helping DD2 sleep. By the end of the day she is an overtired mess. I was really hoping she would be a chilled baby and slot in- no such chance!

@Userzzz, the mamaroo looks amazing but think my DP would go crazy if we bought anything else. We currently have a rocker chair, swing, poddle pod, and moses basket. None of which she will sleep in 😂.
We have a my hummy bear from when DD1 was little and have been using that but not sure it helps, may have to play around with the noise to see if any are better than others.

Last night was a slightly better night. Finally managed to settle her at 12.45 and she slept until 3.30 am in her sleepyhead (I know not advised 🙄). Then a feed and back down at 4.30 until 8!!!!!! She was grunting and straining a lot during this time, but I figured that if she was in any real pain or hungry she would have woken fully and let me know?? Was difficult to sleep through though and kept thinking she would wake up.

At 8 weeks I just feel that everyone else has it all together and have nicely sleeping babies who will drift off and stay asleep for nice little periods. Our days just feel chaotic, juggling screaming baby and the demands of a toddler. We are surving on ready meals, I've not washed my hair in over a week and DH and I don't spend any time together! Such a contrast to pre DD2 when I was making mostly home cooked meals and enjoying getting out running etc. Missing my old life 😭! X

[CatMum87]

@MissHoney85 I'm sorry you are having similar struggles. But a positive note you are doing far better than we were at 3 weeks! We defintiely couldn't put DmD2 to sleep in a chair and we had no 2 hour stretch of sleep. Hang on in there, it will get better 😊. X