At what age and how did you sleep train your baby?

(20 Posts)
Mamatoabeauty Sun 03-Jan-21 21:56:06

I’m struggling to get my 5 month old to go down for a nap In the day and to go to bed at night without being pushed in the pushchair or fed to sleep.

Currently for day naps I’m having to go for a walk in the pram/sling which is becoming a chore with the colder weather. I’ve attempted to teach her to self settle by stroking/shhing etc with no luck. She finds it harder to be fed to sleep in the day and seems to be getting increasingly frustrated that she can’t fall asleep herself.

Night time I feed to sleep but have to go to bed with her as she stirs every 1-3 hrs and will only feed back to sleep (occasionally I’ve managed to rock her). She is sometimes hungry when she wakes but mostly it seems to be for comfort.

Any tips would be appreciated! Thanks

OP’s posts: |
Sway19 Sun 03-Jan-21 22:12:05

At 9/ 10 months. 5 months is still really young, just go with her flow for now

NoIdea1234 Sun 03-Jan-21 22:32:01

4 months - Ferber method. Only took 3 nights and was the best thing we did.

Nightmanagerfan Sun 03-Jan-21 22:40:37

Ferber himself doesn’t recommend using that method before six months.

I think what you describe is normal, but it’s hard! You could try feeding at set times at night and then shushing/rocking to sleep the rest of the wake ups so that she gets into the routine of feeding at certain times. However if she can smell you it will be tough for her and you. Do you have a partner around to help?

turnthebiglightoff Sun 03-Jan-21 22:40:39

20 months. He went down in about 20 mins before this but then started taking an hour so we used the Ferber method but with 3-5-10 min gaps. Nearly broke us for 3 nights but the 4th was great and he now goes to sleep by himself. I bf until 10 months, any earlier than this would've felt a little inhuman. They're supposed to be in with you til 6 months anyway - 5 months is far too early for me. Each to their own - I genuinely loved the bedtime cuddles and miss them.

Matilda1981 Sun 03-Jan-21 22:46:28

I’ve never done any sleep training on any of my 4 - the last one was awful at sleeping at night and I never thought she’d sleep through without any form of sleep training - she’s 9 months old now and has been sleeping 13 hours a night for the last few weeks - all of mine have slept through around 9/10 months old

Mamatoabeauty Mon 04-Jan-21 12:02:04

Thanks everyone. I don’t like the idea of the Ferber method so if I have to resort to that I’ll do it when she’s much older. ( good to know it actually works!) I’m breast feeding so no help in the night. I don’t really have it that bad, ( She’s in the bedside crib so most of the time I can feed with my eyes closed grin ) I just didn’t want to be doing the wrong thing and making a rod for my own back so to speak. Everything I read says you should teach them to self settle for their own good and from 4 months onwards. Feels impossible so I was curious as to what the general consensus was. Think I’ll continue to go with the flow. I like the idea of feeding at set times in the night but with all the leaps and teething I think this would go out the window pretty fast- might have a go at it though thanks @Nightmanagerfan.

OP’s posts: |

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TheCrocIsOutOfTheBag Mon 04-Jan-21 12:21:54

Didn't sleep train in the traditional way. Fed to sleep till 12 months. If she woke up when I put her down I'd pat/shhh/rub her back etc. At 13 months she didn't ask for milk. So I didn't offer. Nearly 18 months. Has mostly got herself to sleep since.

OnlyFoolsnMothers Mon 04-Jan-21 12:25:21

Sleep trained from 6 months- took a couple of nights. My rule was as long as was fed, dry and not teething she was fine to cry for a few mins- put in her cot and left the room, returned after 2 mins, then 5 mins then 8 mins then 10mins- never longer than 10mins. When I went back in the room I rubbed the back and lay her down again. I never let her cry during the night, always just fed back to
Sleep. Day naps prob became more regular and routine like around 7/8 months- I wouldn’t bother sleep training them on day naps so early.

turnthebiglightoff Mon 04-Jan-21 12:59:30

@Mamatoabeauty you will grow to hate the words "making a rod for your back". Do what works and feels right for you.

jblue2018 Mon 04-Jan-21 13:11:21

Imo (and a lot of others) 5 months is too early. It’s so hard! I feel your pain. My DD woke up every 2 hours for bf and co slept until 13 months. We used a sleep consultant for a ‘gentle’ gradual training programme and it worked so well and she was never left to cry for more than 3 minutes. She’s slept though ever since! So I’d give it a while yet , but don’t assume they will just sleep through ‘one day’ as my DD is proof that doesn’t happen!!

OhToBeASeahorse Mon 04-Jan-21 13:37:45

God its shit - I really do feel your pain.

I sleep trained at 8 months using gradual retreat. It took about a month. BUT we went from hourly waking and only napping in the car to routines naps in his cot and sleeping all night.

It quite literally saved my marriage and is honestly the only reason we now have a 2nd baby.

I would wait til at least 6 months but there is hope - it CAN be done and you WILL have some freedom and sleep again.

Kayjay2018 Mon 04-Jan-21 13:44:03

@Mamatoabeauty I started using an app called huckleberry where you can log sleep and it predicts their next nap times. I found it great as I think I was missing my daughters sleep cues and she was then overtired and we got Chuck into a loop.

My dd is 8 months today and for the last few weeks I've been introducing a small comfort blanket ( she can now easily roll and move in her cot). When I get her to sleep or have to resettle her in making sure she is touching and snuggling that rather than my top or my hair in the hope that when she awakes in the night and feels that it will help her settle herself.

ShirleyPhallus Mon 04-Jan-21 13:45:19

OnlyFoolsnMothers

Sleep trained from 6 months- took a couple of nights. My rule was as long as was fed, dry and not teething she was fine to cry for a few mins- put in her cot and left the room, returned after 2 mins, then 5 mins then 8 mins then 10mins- never longer than 10mins. When I went back in the room I rubbed the back and lay her down again. I never let her cry during the night, always just fed back to
Sleep. Day naps prob became more regular and routine like around 7/8 months- I wouldn’t bother sleep training them on day naps so early.

This was exactly my experience and was so brilliant I would really recommend it to anyone. DD is now nearly 10 months and has had a few nights of wakings in the night, so we know that she’s waking for a proper reason and not just cos she can’t get herself to sleep.

Absolutely brilliant.

Mamatoabeauty Mon 04-Jan-21 17:16:50

Thanks for the advice/reassurance. I long for the day I can put her to bed and have a glass of wine downstairs- she doesn’t take a bottle of expressed milk.

Looks like the gradual retreat method would suit us best. It’s a actually a relief that the majority of your advice is to wait a bit longer, quite frankly I can’t be bothered at the moment! The NCT WhatsApp was making me feel like I was behind and not doing the right thing so this has made me feel better!

OP’s posts: |
OhToBeASeahorse Mon 04-Jan-21 17:52:05

@Mamatoabeauty honestly I think most people talk bollocks to save face.

Somethingvague Mon 04-Jan-21 17:55:49

7/8 months Ferber method to take dummy away (was waking every hour just to be plugged back in). Never got to more than 7 minutes before he fell asleep. No regrets, all happier for it.

Somethingvague Mon 04-Jan-21 17:58:09

Also still fed once in the night from 6 months until 14 months old... which I ended up sending Dad in to stop.

ShirleyPhallus Mon 04-Jan-21 19:29:38

OhToBeASeahorse

*@Mamatoabeauty* honestly I think most people talk bollocks to save face.

I agree with this. The nct competitiveness strikes when you least expect it!

Jerry00 Mon 04-Jan-21 19:58:49

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